| �Well�I was born to a slave. A man who fell in love with my mother owned her but she died in childbirth. So by this point the odds were stacked against me: I had no mother to look after me and my father owned a house full of slaves. But my father was gentle and took care of me, never laying a hand on me that didn�t belong there. He only had relations with my mother because he loved her, not for his own pleasure. �At any rate, he died of a heart attack and he was in debt to a lot of people, a lot of them slave traders. I had to go with one and what a change: I was made to do things that I possibly couldn�t imagine to other people. I was too young for actual sex but they found other uses for me�I�m sure you know them, Heero, but anyway, I was taken to that place at five and wasn�t rescued till I was about seven. Three months was hell for you but imagine two years there? I was pretty much a destroyed child; I saw some of my friends being raped by different people until they bled to death. Others were barely double digit ages and trying to give birth, dying in the process. The scars are still on me, Heero. Not just the physical ones,� she said, running a hand on the faint scars on her shoulder. �But in here.� She tapped her head. �And in here.� She placed a hand over her heart. �One day, a couple, missionaries, came with the intention of saving children since they heard that we were being kept there. I was the first one they took and they took twenty others but there were over one hundred of us�they couldn�t take us all. I cried for days and it took me so long to finally see myself as a person again, not just a slave. I thought that my new father and mother would come into my room at night and repeat what happened at that place, despite all their kind words and good food. Somehow though, I grew to trust them and grew up, trying not to remember what happened to me. But I realized that my past is what makes me who I am and if I try to forget about it, I�ll be forgetting apart of myself.� Noin looked up from the floor to see Heero staring hard at her, his eyes shining with tears. �I knew it�but somehow I didn�t�I�m just not sure�� he stammered before the tears fell. �I�m sorry if I�ve opened up old wounds for you, forgive me�� Noin shook her head and took Heero�s hand. �You know, three days ago, I wouldn�t have told anybody about my past but you�ve made me see, Heero. You�ve shown me how valuable a past is,� she replied, squeezing gently. Looking at her hand, Heero shook his head. �But I�m not who I am�I�ve forgotten�� �We�ll try to do something about that tomorrow, ok? I�m taking you to the doctor to see if there�s anything she can do.� Noin said softly and Heero hugged her so hard, she thought he would crack a rib. �Thank you so much, mistress Noin,� he said, face buried in her shoulder, tears falling faster. Noin hugged him back and smiled a little. �You�re welcome�but she might not be able to do anything�I just want you to realize that,� she cautioned but Heero shook his head. �You�re trying, that�s all that matters to me,� he whispered. �Mistress Noin?� �Yes?� He hesitated then plowed forward. �I have two questions.� �Hm?� �Why don�t you let me�do things?� Noin blinked. �I�ll let you do whatever you want, Heero,� she said in confusion but Heero shook his head. �I mean, to you. Do you have memories of�what happened when you think about it?� �Sometimes,� Noin admitted running a hand through his hair. �But the reason why is because you�re so young and the conditions you just came out of are ridiculous. And I didn�t want to give you the wrong idea: I wanted to help you not to�� �Fuck me?� Heero offered and Noin chuckled a bit. �Exactly.� Leaning his head to the side, Noin felt Heero smile. �I wouldn�t have minded�but thank you,� he said. Noin tightened her grip slightly on him and sighed. �To tell you the truth, I�m almost sad that I didn�t find out,� she thought before pulling away slowly. �You said that you have two questions,� Noin offered, changing the subject. Heero looked down. �Is Noin your first name?� The OZ soldier made a face. �I really hate my first name but�� �No, it�s my last. Lucretza is my fist name,� Noin said and Heero glanced up to meet her gaze. �Can I just call you that instead of �mistress Noin� or would I be overstepping my bounds�?� he said shyly but Noin just smiled. �You know, Heero, nothing would make me happier.� Next |