Third Place - Drama

The ridiculously goofy grin I had on my face began to fade to nothingness as I took in the figure before me. Harry was crouched up against the short wall of the observation deck. His face was a mask of pain. Tears rolled down his cheeks and off of his chin to land in his lap, dripping from tightly clenched fists. His whole body was shaking, the quaking visible even from the doorway.

"Harry?" I ventured softly.

His head snapped my direction and the agony in his eyes nearly dropped me to my knees. He seemed to curl deeper into himself, pushing against the wall in a futile attempt to get even further away.

"Harry, love? Are you hurt?" I don�t know if it was the mere sound of my voice or the accidental slip of �love,� but he jerked as though I�d slapped him. I took one more step inside the room, clearing the way for me to shut the door. A low whine greeted me as I inched closer. I shut the door and muttered a locking spell, hoping that I was cutting off his only exit...hoping he hadn�t realized that there was one last way out of the Astronomy Tower. I shuddered at the thought.

Steeling myself, I turned back to face him. "I won�t hurt you, Harry," I coaxed. "You know that. I just want to make sure you�re all right." I chanced another step. He hissed a panicked intake of breath and I froze. Fuck. Fifteen feet was much too far if he took the notion to...No. He was not going to jump. I wouldn�t let him jump. "Please, Harry. Just tell me if you�re okay."

He still said nothing, but the jerky nod that brought his fringe down over his eyes was answer enough. "Good," I sighed in relief. "I was worried." He gave a bark of laughter that sounded more like a sob. "What? You don�t think I was worried?" I frowned. "I was. I always worry about you." Another sobbing bark of laughter. "I worried about you even before you came into my care," I continued quietly, taking another hesitant step toward him. He twitched and I stopped. Fourteen feet.

"I worry about you all the time. I worry that you don�t eat. I worry that you don�t sleep. I worry that you�re out wandering the castle halls at all hours." He dragged a sleeve across his face, wiping tears and smearing the dust from the teashop. "Lately, I�ve been able to be more open about my worries," I kept on talking, soothingly as though I were calming a skittish horse, "but I�ve always worried. I�ve always cared."

"You shouldn�t," came the hoarse, mumbled retort. He buried his face in his hands and ran his hands up to lodge in his messy hair. I took the opportunity to move forward...thirteen...twelve...his piercing eyes stopped me in my tracks. "No one should care about me," he added. "It only gets them hurt."

I shrugged. "Perhaps." He looked astonished that I wasn�t arguing with him. "But you can�t really stop someone from caring for you, Harry. And if they�re willing...if I�m willing to risk the hurt to experience the joy, that�s my choice."

"No!" he jerked away, staring blindly out into the sky.

"Yes," I insisted.

"There�s no joy," he spat, snarling at the clouds. "There�s nothing but pain. I cause nothing but pain. Only pain," his voice dwindled off.

I wanted to wrap him in my arms and hold him close. Adversely, I wanted to slap the shit out of him. "That is not true, Harry," I settled for a firm chastising voice and another two feet closer. Eleven. Ten. "I�"

"How�d you like me violating you, Draco?" His green eyes, full of self-hate, were like Avada to my soul. "How�d you like me forcing myself on you?" Spittle flew from his mouth as he snapped each word out with the force and precision of a bullwhip. "Did you like it? Was that why you were begging me to stop? And how about�"

"Fucking hell, Harry!" And there went my temper. "You were trying to find your way out of the darkness. To find your way back. I begged you to stop so that I didn�t feel like some fucking pedophile taking advantage of you!"

Nine.

Eight.

"...like Lavender," his voice dropped into a whisper. "Like Lavender did to me."

"Yes," I followed him down, trying to keep up with his moods. "Yes, like Brown did to you."

"Like I let Lavender do to me," the whisper took on an aching helplessness.

"No, Harry." Seven. "You didn�t let yourself be molested. That was her. All her. You�re not to blame for that."

"But I�m to blame for not stopping it," Harry slumped against the wall, suddenly boneless. "I�m to blame for whatever happened to her. I�m to blame for letting everyone down. For letting everyone see that I was weak."

Six.

"Harry," I raked my hand through my hair, "You were not weak. You were four. There�s a difference."

"I was�"

"You were four," I cut him off as he would have argued with me. "You were a child. And she took advantage of you. No one thinks you�re weak."

He looked up at me, eyes dulled with hopelessness. "How can they follow me if I can�t even fight off a 17 year old girl?"

I crouched, hating that Harry did this to himself. Hating that he felt this way about himself. "They...we won�t follow you, Harry," I said softly. "We�ll fight by your side. And, like any brother in arms, we�ll pick up the pieces you can�t juggle. Just like we did with Lavender. Just like we did with Bellatrix. Just like we�ll do with Voldemort."

He ducked his head.

"Hey, look at me," I coaxed, and waited until I was looking him in the eye again. "I don�t know about the rest of the world, love, but this last week has taught me something. And I think it�s taught your friends something. We don�t want you to save us, Harry. We want you to help us save ourselves." He made a choked sound. "We want you to let us help you. We need to be there for you just as much as you need to be there for us," I pointed out.

"I...I don�t know..." he shook his head, confusion etched in his features.

I�m a bastard. I took advantage of his inattention.

Five.

Four.

I was close enough now that I could stop him if he...well, if he moved at all, and so I dropped to my knees on the cold stone floor. As I did so, my cloak gaped open a bit and the Transfigured dog I�d stowed under my arm came visible. Harry�s eyes were drawn to it like a Notice-Me Charm. His breath hitched and his fingers twitched as though they were running through the faux fur.

"Is that...?" his voice was high and wispy now, a far cry from the guttural emotions he�d been heaving out the last five minutes. I opened my cloak further and pulled the dog from under my arm. I held it out to him, a silent bid of supplication. His hand stretched forward, stopping just before touching it. "Why did you bring...?"

I shrugged. "I wasn�t sure who I�d find," I answered honestly. He flinched anyway.

"Can I...?" His fingers were trembling.

"Of course, Harry," I held the dog out, going more than my half of the way. "He�s yours. I made him for you."

Harry held the ridiculous stuffed beast as though it were the Crown Jewels. One hand steadied it carefully as it sat in his lap and the other hovered over the fur as if afraid that touching it would make it disappear. His fingers had stopped trembling, but I noticed that the tremble had moved up to his lips. "This was my first hold on reality when I woke up," he whispered with a small, pained smile.

"I was so afraid. So alone. I didn�t know what was happening. And then..." he looked up at me, his eyes shiny from the tears, "and then you were there. And I knew you. And I wasn�t afraid anymore." His breath caught on a sob. "I was so scared, Draco. But you saw that. And you made this for me," his fingers closed more securely around the toy. "You made this for a boy you hated."

"No," I corrected in a whisper. "I made that for a boy I loved. A boy who meant the world to me. A boy for whom I�d give up my world."

Harry suddenly buried his face in the dog�s fur. "You did," his muffled voice came to me. "You gave up your world. You k-killed your f-father because of me."

Fuck the baby steps. I closed the distance between us in a lunge, taking Harry in my arms and pulling him half onto my lap. "I killed my father because he was a fucking bastard," I bit out, noting my voice was beginning to get the hoarse tone that precluded my own bout of tears. "I killed him because he didn�t deserve to live. I killed him as much for me, and for my mum as for you, Harry."

I could feel his head shaking against my chest. "You can say whatever you like, Draco," he sniffled. "But I know you killed him because of me."

"I killed him for you, you precious fucking twit," the tears were nearly closing my throat off. "He hurt you. He hurt what was mine. He hurt you, Harry love, and for that he had to die." I worried that I was holding him too tightly. Merlin knew I was having trouble breathing. "I almost lost you to his insane bid for dominance. To his own ego stroking. I don�t know how you held out so long," I shoved my face into his soft hair and let my tears come. "I was so fucking scared when I saw you there. So fucking scared. I don�t understand how you didn�t go insane."

Harry slid his arms around my waist. I could feel that damn dog pinned between us. "I wasn�t there," he murmured into my chest.

"I don�t understand," I frowned in confusion.

"I wasn�t there when he left the spell on." He shifted so his face was resting against my chest and not buried in it. "He had been whipping me and beating me for hours before he finally...he decided to...he..." Harry�s voice broke and his tremors returned.

"He decided to rape me," the small voice wound its way to my ears. I saw the red of Crucio. I saw the green of Avada. Why the fuck did I kill the bastard so quickly? Whywhywhywhy? I could have tortured him for days! "He�d cast Crucio on me and said he was interested in how...in how tight the seizures would make me." He stopped as he began to hyperventilate. I rocked him and crooned stupid placations in his ear. Told him I was there, it was all right. But it wasn�t. It would never be all right because my father died too quickly.

"H-his hair...fell down around my f-face," Harry stuttered. "I thought how much it looked like yours," the stutter degenerated into a full body sob. "He looked like you, Draco. He was hurting me and I couldn�t make myself stop thinking about how much he looked like you. How I�d...I�d not fight like I was if...if it were you t-touching me. If it were you...d-doing that to me."

"Never, precious love," I ground out. I had never in my life hated being a Malfoy more. Hated the pale beauty that came with it. I would have offered my soul to look like Weasley at this point. "When I touch you, when we finally can be together," I vowed. "It will be nothing like that. I swear to you. I�ll never hurt you. There will be only love. Only love, my Harry. I promise you."

Harry nodded against my chest again, his tears soaking through the expensive fabric. "I couldn�t take it," he continued a bit calmer. " I couldn�t stand the pain. I...I left. I don�t know where I went. It was dark. It was safe. It was like my cupboard, when I was small."

His cupboard. Merlin, was there anyone...anyone at all in this boy�s life that hadn�t hurt him? "Why was your cupboard safe?" I managed not to growl.

"I was alone. I could cry," Harry sighed. "They wouldn�t come into the closet to hurt me. When I was in there, my punishment was over."

I closed my eyes against the horror, the anger...the tears. "The...person you became when you were hiding," I pressed on. "Was that you? When you were little?"

A shrug. "I don�t know. I think so. I don�t remember much of him. Just how you all reacted to him. It was like watching through water. Everything was distorted. But I knew he would protect me. He would watch out for me and I could stay hidden until it was safe again. And I did," I could hear the smile creeping into his voice. "I stayed there until I was with you. Then I came out. Only to molest you," I could hear the self-accusation, "but I did come out."

"I�m glad you came out, Harry," I whispered. "I�m glad you felt safe with me. And I don�t feel molested by you. I feel honored that you would trust me so much."

Harry nuzzled up against my neck. "I do trust you, Draco," he replied, surety in every nuance of his voice. "I trust you...and I love you."

"Oh, my sweet Harry," I kissed his forehead gently, suffused in the warmth that his love had surrounded me in. "I love you, too. And we�ll figure this out together. All of it. We�ll work through it together. You and I. Always."

The door to the Great Hall creaked open hours later as students were sitting down to their evening meal. The clamor began to recede beginning at the doorway and finally making it�s way down to the first years near the Head Table. Harry and Draco stood hand in hand, dirty and unkempt, at the entryway. A stuffed dog that people could remember from Harry�s first day hung from the boy�s hand.

As one, Neville, Ginny, Pansy and Hermione shoved away from their tables and charged down the aisle. As they came closer, they slowed in confusion. Harry looked different. He was standing tall. His head was held high and there was a light in his eyes that none of them could remember seeing before. They looked at Draco. He, too, was standing proudly. He held Harry�s hand and watched them with a contented smile as they approached.

"Harry?" Neville's voice was so low that it would scarce carry to the 7th year end of the tables.

"Hi, Nev," Harry replied with a huge smile. "Would you hold this for a second?" He held his dog out to Neville and the other Gryffindor boy carefully took it, looking back up at Harry in confusion. His unspoken question was answered when Harry turned to Draco and lifted a gentle hand to cup the Slytherin�s cheek. "I love you," he breathed against Draco's lips before capturing them in a sweet kiss.

So caught up in each other were they, that it took several minutes for the clapping and cheering to penetrate their world. When they broke apart, they saw the whole of the Hall on their feet, clapping, stomping and whistling. They wrapped their arms around each other and smiled back at the outpouring of approval.

Gryffindors and Slytherins alike began pushing their way up through the crowd beginning to surround the two young men. When Ron broke through the horde and placed himself directly in front of Harry and Draco, the sound began to ebb away. Harry watched him warily while Draco just sighed and prepared for the screeching of his life.

Both were pleasantly surprised when all Ron did was give a quirky smile. "Harry?" he asked. Harry nodded and Ron held his arms open. One last look at a Draco and Harry flung himself into Ron�s arms, coming home again in the embrace of his brother.

"Are you going to be okay with Draco and me?" Harry whispered into the redhead�s ear.

Ron pulled away to give Draco an assessing look. With a sigh, he shrugged. "I may never fully understand, Harry, why you chose a Malfoy to fall in love with," he said wryly. "But after this week, I really do get why you chose Draco." Tears came flooding to Harry�s eyes and he threw himself back in his best friend�s arms.

"Thank you, Ron," he choked out.

"Yeah, well..." Ron sighed, peering over Harry�s shoulder to the blond standing protectively behind. "Thank you, M-Draco. For bringing him back."

Draco smiled softly. "It was my pleasure...Ron."