First Place - Angst

Harry needed the time alone to center himself, to focus and prepare. He would have to have his empathy and magic sensing abilities wide open, but keep his Occlumency shields in place. The combination would be tricky, especially with such a large group of people around him, all feeling high emotions. He usually used the three shields together, either all up or down, or desperately clung to one when he couldn't maintain all three.

Before Harry prepared though, he had something to do that he had been putting off. He knew there was a high likelihood that he would die before the next time the sun set. He went to his father's desk and took out parchment and quill and began to write his last will and testament.

It started as an explanation of sorts, a message for whoever he left behind, an apology to the wizarding world for failing them. Harry was not entirely sure what the sum of his possessions was. He had given the papers over to his father and never asked about them, too concerned with other things.

Harry sighed. It would be easier to divide things up by which family it had belonged to before it got to Harry. The Potter assets were easy. They divided three ways between his father, Ron, and Hermione. He considered looking at Ron and Hermione as one, but there was the small chance that they would split up and he didn't want to cause trouble that way. His father didn't need the money he knew so he gave him Potter Manor and his choice of personal items to remember him by.

The Black fortune was more difficult. Sirius had already left quite a bit of it to all the people Harry would bequeath it to, but he figured it wouldn't hurt them to get more, so it went to Remus, the twins, ...and Charlie. Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes.

He had seen Charlie briefly in a meeting of all the dragon handlers in Romania. The dragons were ready to go and fight the wizards who had hurt some of their kind and hurt Harry, who was considered a dragon of sorts by them. He told the dragons that they had to stay out of range of the wizards' curses though. Harry and the handlers didn't want the dragons getting hurt.

Charlie had looked and felt less... vibrant... than Harry was used to seeing. He had wanted to tell Charlie what he meant to him, to go back to the dragon handler's tent and show him, but he didn't have time then and there was still a chance for Voldemort to find out and hurt Charlie. How would it look if Harry was grinning like a fool right before, or even during, the battle? What would he do if Death Eaters intercepted the dragon handler on his way to Hogwarts?

So he had only made brief eye contact, just enough to let Charlie know that he was hurting too, that he wasn't ignoring him. He stopped short of forming that connection between them that would open up all their feelings and thoughts to the other. He couldn't bear it then.

Harry caught sight of James's letter to Snape, and Harry was inspired. He hadn't read the letter, or even asked about it, because it was private. He knew that his father would respect his privacy with a letter from Harry in the same way.

On a fresh sheet of parchment Harry wrote a quick note to his father, like the one James wrote Sirius, asking him to distribute the letters in the event of his death, and to burn them if Harry lived and Snape got to the letters first. He could tell the people in person then.

He wrote letters to his father and Charlie, and then to Albus, Remus, Ron, Hermione, the Weasley family in general, the Gryffindors, his little Slytherin group, and one to be published in the wizarding papers. His father's letter also had a message for the portraits of his parents and grandparents and a request regarding the two little children in the muggle orphanage. He packaged them all together and put his father's name on the outside of the envelope.

It was a cathartic experience. A weight felt like it lifted off his shoulders. Harry might die without saying some things that needed to be said, but those letters would take care of all that, and it was the first time he had actually expressed some of it. He sat on the bare floor and could feel the magic coming through the stones of the castle. With his eyes closed Harry started to meditate.

There was no emotional interference, as everyone in the castle who was awake was far away in the entrance hall and the great hall. Harry thought he might have the ability to feel them even as far away as they were, but if he did the castle was shielding him. Harry concentrated as deeply as he could and one by one tested his shields and barriers and lowered the empathy blockers and shields on his ability to see magic.

When he stood the sun had risen and Harry knew it was almost time. It had felt like only a few minutes that Harry was meditating but it had to be at least an hour. Harry went to his wardrobe and changed into a pair of fitted black trousers and a black shirt, his black work boots, and put a black robe and cloak over that.

He took off the wand holster and left it behind. He had no need for a wand, fake or otherwise. He took off the fake glasses and left them on the desk next to the letters and his will. He would not hide anything in this battle. He even removed the glamour that hid the scars on his hand from the world. He looked at it for a moment and felt a determination. He would not lie to anyone anymore.

Remus and Ron were the only ones left in the entrance hall and they both looked up as he approached. Harry paused at the bottom of the stairs.

"Harry?" Ron stared, wide eyed. "You look different. Your glasses..."

"I haven't needed them for a while now Ron," Harry smiled. He actually felt at ease. It would all end soon, one way or the other. "Dad fixed my eyes."

Remus was examining him carefully with his head tilted just a bit and his eyes unfocused, "That's not it Ron. Harry, you're almost... glowing."

Harry shrugged. To him, everything was glowing, "Come into the great hall. I'm going to talk to everyone and I want you two there."

"They're in position," Remus told Harry.

Harry walked over to the map and looked at the dots on it. There were a large number of dots in the great hall and smaller groups of dots spaced in a perimeter around the castle. For every black dot, which Remus told him signified a Death Eater, there were five green dots, wizards and witches under Imperious. Voldemort had an army at least six hundred strong against their two hundred... maybe two hundred and fifty strong, many of them still students. Then there were whatever dark creatures he had.

"He's back here," Ron pointed to a single dot on the hilltop near the cave that Sirius had hidden in outside of Hogsmeade.

"That's my objective," Harry said with determination. It was time.

Ron and Remus entered the great hall ahead of him. When Harry walked in it was like someone had cast a charm that hit every person in the hall. Conversation stopped and they all turned to look at him. Harry walked up to the platform that the staff table rested on, but realized with a little chuckle that it didn't really make him taller than everyone there, so he climbed up on the table. Expectation... anticipation... fear... they were all waiting for him.

Harry didn't have to cast a charm to make his voice carry through the hall, as everyone was listening closely, "At the end of this day either Voldemort or I, or possibly both of us will die."

There was an instantaneous effect on the people there. First was the collective flinch or shudder at the mention of Tom Riddle's alias, and then shock, denial, fear, and pain. His father was standing with Dumbledore and Ron was nearby, the only other people in the hall who knew the wording of the prophecy.

"I thought you should all know the answer to a question that plagued me for years. There was a prophecy made before I was born, a prophecy that was heard by two people, in full by Albus Dumbledore and partially by a Death Eater whose name I never heard. That prophecy was the reason that Severus Snape asked Lily Potter to memory charm him, and James and Lily Potter took me into hiding under the Fidelius Charm, and Voldemort attacked us that Halloween."

What he had said so far was not news to most people, but what he continued with was. He looked at his father and Dumbledore. Dumbledore gave him a little nod, approval of his decision to share the prophecy with all these people. His father had an expression that was not often seen on Severus Snape's face... pride.

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as an equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."

Harry wondered in some dark recess of his mind how many times in his life he would cause a room to fall absolutely silent. Not a rustle of a robe or shuffle of a foot could be heard. No one coughed or sneezed and the breathing was silent.

His former teammates and his Slytherins, the people who had appointed themselves his guard, all stood together looking grim and determined. Hermione's mouth was open in a silent 'o' of shock and Ron had both arms around her. Harry could feel the combination of hope and fear that filled the hall.

It was almost too much and he knew he had to get out of there. Harry shifted into his phoenix form and disappeared in a flash of fire, reappearing high above the entrance hall. He circled and landed next to the table that held the map. Harry changed back to his human shape and looked down at the table.

He heard the explosion of noise in the great hall and could feel the emotions, blurred by the sheer variety, through the walls. Hermione and Ron were the only ones who left the hall though.

"I didn't think you'd go far," Hermione said smugly. She walked over and hugged him with everything she had. Harry was uneasy but comforted by the warmth he felt from her and he smiled. "You're the brother I never had. I love you Harry Potter."

Ron wrapped his arms around both of them, "I have five brothers already, and I'd add you to the list in an instant, but then Charlie might get mad at me... so you and I will just have to settle for best friends."

Harry breathed in deeply, the feeling of the love that they both felt for him intoxicating. He wanted to stretch out that moment, to slow down time and make their friendship last forever, exactly as it was right then.

The three of them laughed until there were tears in their eyes but Ron sobered quickly when he looked at the map, "This is it. Start getting these people deployed 'Mione."

Hermione grinned and gave Harry a kiss on the cheek, and then kissed Ron a little more intimately before darting into the great hall. They could hear her magnified voice from where they stood, giving final orders to the DA.

"Hey Harry?"

"Yeah Ron?"

"Don't put all that studying for N.E.W.T.s to waste. Hermione would be awfully disappointed."

Harry gave Ron a wry smile, "I don't intend to." He punched Ron in the arm playfully and Ron returned the gesture.

They were standing there when the great hall emptied. As Order members, Aurors, Hit Wizards, and students went past they all had a smile for Harry, or a handshake, or a hug or well wish. He endured it tensely. McGonagall stayed in the hall with him and ruffled his hair, to which Harry rolled his eyes. She was exuding pride and faith. Remus was tearful when he hugged Harry, having finally heard the words that in large part caused his life to be ripped apart.

"Be careful Pup," Remus whispered as he embraced Harry.

"I will Moony," Harry responded. "If you see my parents and Sirius before I do give them a hug from me."

"Neither of us will see them for a while," Remus said firmly.

Harry didn't answer. There was no way he could.

The air shook around him and Harry looked at the map. From the surface a three dimensional representation of the drawing had sprung. The Death Eaters appeared as cylinders in the color of the previous dots. They had reached the end of the wards and were in the process of breaching them. Hogwarts was letting them through, pulling them in where the castle and the wizards and witches waiting within could strike. Strange... both sides had the same goal.

The staff of Hogwarts stood in the entrance hall. Ron, Hermione, and the most advanced of the DA members were there as well. Harry's rearguard was with him, all of them with wand in one hand and one of many Wheezes in another. Dean Thomas slipped something onto Harry's wrist. It was a rubber band and Dean gave Harry a handful of them.

"Portkeys," Dean explained. "They're password protected." Dean took his off and handed it to Hermione. "They have to be touching skin to work. For St. Mungo's say 'Mickey Mouse' and say 'Donald Duck' for the hospital wing. If you activate one for someone else make sure you take yours off first."

"Gryffindors," Malfoy muttered behind him.

Dean just grinned as he slipped his back on his wrist, "Well we had to make sure the passwords wouldn't come up in conversation during a battle."

"Thanks," Harry nodded to Dean, who nodded back.

Dumbledore turned and he and Harry exchanged a look. The power in his eyes that Harry had seen when the headmaster broke down the door to the fake Moody's office was in place. Harry nodded.

"They will expect us to know the wards are breeched by now," Dumbledore held out his wand and the doors to Hogwarts swung open.

The headmaster led the final defense out the main doors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

As the professors and the most advanced of the school's students exited onto the grounds the first of the attackers could be seen on the fringes of the Forbidden Forest. There was a group coming from Hogsmeade, but it was comprised of the Aurors that had gone there and the townspeople, easily doubling the size of the group that stood before the castle doors.

The air was still and tense and Harry both felt and saw an enormous amount of magic just waiting to be unleashed all around him. Without a word or a sign both sides charged.

They moved forward with sure strides, confidence in their abilities to protect the school evident from their posture. The first volley of curses came from the Forbidden Forest. The staff and students blocked them all and were about to fire off their own curses when their concentration was disrupted.

There was a roar overhead and Harry instinctively dropped and rolled, avoiding a burst of fire. There was a Chinese Fireball overhead, a very angry dragon, and Harry could just barely make out that the handler riding him was under the Imperious Curse. Another jet of fire hit the school, but the ancient wards flared to life and glowed golden as they protected the stones.

The line of defenders had been successfully scattered and the curses started flying at them again. Harry shielded as many people as he could while putting out fires and activating several Portkeys to take away burn victims for treatment.

There was another roar, but this one was answered and Harry looked up. Prudence the Hungarian Horntail, Eliza the Welsh Green, and Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback were roaring at the Chinese Fireball. Buckbeak flew with them. Over three dozen wizards and witches from dragon colonies all over the world leapt from the backs of the three dragons from Romania and mounted brooms as they fell. They began to rain down curses on the Forest.

Robed and masked figures emerged from the tree line, their wands sparking and flashing. The anger and hate they were projecting was like a curse all on its own to Harry, and most likely to a few of the dragon handlers. He almost reeled back and breathed deeply as the group he was in split further to meet the oncoming threat.

He sensed a number of witches and wizards flying down from the towers of the school. Several of them were hit by blasting curses, disabling their brooms and sending them plummeting towards the unforgiving ground. Harry focused and slowed their fall, saving as many as he could. He felt confusion coming from the school, the students waking to find themselves trapped in their towers. There wasn't anyone above third year inside with them.

The fight began to blur as the two forces clashed together. The Death Eaters drew away as many of Harry's protectors as they could. Dumbledore fought straight through them, Death Eaters falling stunned one after another by the headmaster's wand. To the great surprise of many though, Albus Dumbledore did not stay at the fight but continued on into the forest, headed for the other side where Voldemort waited.

Harry was skillfully directed into the forest and he let it happen. He wanted them to lead him towards their master. He easily identified those who were under the Imperious Curse and did his best not to actually injure any of them. Those who fought of their own choice though were another matter. Harry saw green light flashing everywhere and often hitting its target. Katie jumped in front of Oliver and her magic flickered and vanished altogether when she took the Killing Curse that had been headed towards Oliver's back.

There was no time to mourn his friend as he fought, almost entirely surrounded. His head swam as he felt the dying agonies of people he knew. His insides clenched over and over as shouts and screams were felt more than heard.

Hagrid howled and Harry knew that either Buckbeak or Fang had been struck. Harry felt the werewolf senses of Remus come alive and the last true Marauder growled, the wolf taking command of the wizard. Harry easily identified the Death Eater his father's friend was fighting, though the fight was rather one-sided. It was Rookwood, the man who had betrayed Remus's father. Harry almost felt sorry for the former Unspeakable... almost.

Harry was soon surrounded by trees and figures with black robes and white masks. Their feelings invaded him like poison.

"Potty, Potty, Potty," Belletrix Lestrange's voice taunted, "You should have stayed last time. Now all your friends will die with you."

"You first," Harry narrowed his eyes, feeling his hate build, fueled by hers.

Curses came at him from all directions. Not one of these Death Eaters was being controlled by Imperious. None of them would fight the curse and turn on the others to aid Harry. He was entirely on his own. He fought with magic, his hands, his dagger, whatever was needed. He almost didn't register it when one of them stepped too close and his dagger slit the man's throat. The death was slow enough that the man's last emotions nearly tore Harry apart. He gasped and staggered, the knowledge that he had killed hitting him like a bolt of lightning.

The break in his concentration was exactly what Belletrix had been waiting for. There were about half of the Death Eaters left standing and Harry saw curses aimed at them from further in the trees. Help was on its way, but not soon enough.

Crucio!

The curse hit him and the familiar feel of his skin being sliced opened by thousands of knives made Harry drop to his knees. The panic of the now defending rather than attacking Death Eaters got through the pain and Harry screamed, beginning to panic himself.

She was holding the curse for longer than Harry had ever been subjected to it and he wondered if he had predicted Voldemort all wrong. Perhaps the dark lord no longer cared whose wand Harry died under and this was the end. Maybe the second half of the prophecy was wrong and someone other than Tom Riddle could kill Harry. Harry felt the urge to crawl inside his mind and hide, to shut out the rest of the world and escape the pain.

Avada Kedavra!

Green light shot past Harry. The voice that had spoken was male... and very familiar. The curse hit Belletrix and her eyes were wide with shock as she fell. Harry pushed himself up with shaky arms. His stomach heaved and he threw up, disgusted by the flecks of blood he saw. He wiped his face and saw blood was dripping from his nose. His head was swimming and his vision was blurred, spots of color dancing before his eyes.

He looked up as a pair of feet approached him, "Neville?"

"She tortured my parents," Neville was crying as he knelt by Harry. "I remember. I've always remembered."

The normally tender boy vanished the mess Harry had made and cast a general healing charm on him. He handed Harry a potion and Harry drank it, feeling his throat heal instantly but his head was still swimming and despair was taking hold. Neville helped Harry stand and Harry felt a sense of victory from behind him. He prepared himself for a curse to hit, but wasn't ready for Neville to spin them around and take the curse for Harry.

Neville's eyes opened wide and he gasped as he clung to Harry's robes. Harry's eyes spilled over with hot tears and he yelled out in anger. He shot a harsh curse, very dark in nature, at the man who had cursed Neville and felt the curse hit. The man felt his internal organs dissolve within and Harry almost retched again as he felt the man die. His skin felt too tight. He wanted to run away, to get away from the death and the pain and the hate.

Neville was getting heavier and Harry examined the other boy quickly. A powerful cutting curse had hit Neville's back and he was losing blood fast. Neville's breathing was shallow and fast as Harry healed the deep slash, but there was nothing he could do about the blood loss.

"Nev, why?" Harry whimpered as he lowered his friend to the forest floor. He didn't give Neville a chance to answer but made sure they weren't touching as he activated Neville's Portkey, his own given away long ago in the first wave of attack, "Mickey Mouse." Neville could join his parents at Mungo's.

Harry couldn't stop the tears flowing down his face. There were no curses heading his way, the area oddly quiet, and he leaned against the trunk of a tree, not sure he could stand. He wrapped his arms around his chest and sobbed, mourning deaths on both sides. He was shaking with remnants from the Cruciatus Curse and wondered if there had been any internal damage. He had already been victim to the curse longer than any other sane person still living, but never continuously for that long before.

"Harry," the voice was soft and almost caressed him with tenderness. Harry felt oddly light, almost floating. The despair and death that had surrounded him was gone. There was warmth on all sides, stronger than anything Harry had sensed ever before.

Gentle hands lifted him and strong arms embraced him. There was no urge to pull away, no instinctual flinch, and Harry knew it could only be one person.

"Ch-Charlie," Harry stammered through sobs and shakes, "I'm s-s-sorry."

At least six healing charms were cast on Harry at once and each of them was accompanied by that powerful warmth that Harry had learned to recognize as love, all from people whose feelings he recognized. He looked around him and saw he was in the middle of a ring of dragon handlers, all of them strong empaths, trained in healing. They were projecting at him and he felt all the sadness and anger and fear overpowered and conquered by the love they felt for him.

Harry melted in Charlie's arms, opened up to him. There was no need for them to talk. Everything they had felt for the past several months was shared in a rush of emotion and imagery. Charlie's arms tightened as the torture in Voldemort's headquarters flashed by and Harry felt dampness on his neck and shoulder from the dragon handler's tears.

He came to know the pain he had caused in his panic and insecurity. He felt months of sadness and resignation. He saw Percy's memorial, and the sorrow Charlie felt, and the need for Harry when he recognized him, and the sharp pain when Harry shut himself off and hardly acknowledged him. Harry saw himself through Charlie's eyes and was amazed at how the other man viewed him.

The kiss they shared in the middle of the destruction and death was desperate and passionate, more meaningful than anything they had ever shared before. No arousal was stirred, as their bodies knew it was not the right time.

His energy was renewed, the flame of his purpose rekindled. Harry opened his eyes, not remembering when he had closed them, and saw understanding and love in the blue eyes that met his gaze, and he knew it was reflected from within himself.

A golden glow appeared through distant trees and phoenix song filled the still air, all battle far away. A sense that was almost euphoric swept through the group of empaths and they all breathed in deeply together.

"That's my cue," Harry said quietly as a hand cupped his face.

They kissed again and Harry felt the tingle of Charlie's magic touching his. He twisted a finger in it, wrapping it in his own magic, creating a little knot. They were still connected and Harry knew deep within that he had been wrong to deny it. He had some apologizing to do, and a few months to make up for... if he lived long enough to try. Harry felt hope spark inside truly for the first time that he would live, that he would have a chance to make a life for himself after that day.

He smiled at Charlie and caressed his face from temple to cheek, "I love you."

Finding the Key - Chapter 46

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