First Place - Angst

The brandy helped to dull the screams in his mind, his son's screams. Perhaps the cruelest thing about the Imperious Curse was that the victim remembered every moment, everything they did while under the effects of the curse. He had seen many people, wizard and muggle alike, broken by what they were forced to do to their loved ones. He couldn't get near a mirror for fear of what he would see in the reflection.

Severus had always been strong willed. He could fight the curse nearly as well as Harry, who was ridiculously stubborn, but when Voldemort cast it the link from the Dark Mark made it stronger than anyone could withstand.

There had been a few moments where Severus had hoped that Harry would be able to separate the cursed Severus from the normal Severus, but then Harry had woken in the hospital wing and his eyes had shown absolute fear. Severus had left immediately, rather than watch his son cower from him any further. He had seen that from Harry before. He didn't cower before Voldemort, but Harry had reacted the same way to his uncle many times.

Severus drained his glass, not bothering to savor the brandy as he normally would. He was not looking to enjoy his drink. He just wanted to forget that look of fear in Harry's eyes. It had been over a week though, and that look was all Severus could see whenever he saw Harry, whenever he thought about him.

Harry never showed up to Potions. Severus let Nott join whichever group he wanted for the time being and didn't say a thing about Harry's absence. He just graded the essays that Granger handed in and returned them to her. It was all he had to gauge Harry's wellbeing, as Severus had essentially banished himself to his dungeons, and Harry seemed to be doing well enough. His essays were of as high a quality as he ever accomplished anyway. Severus ate in the great hall but did not socialize at all with his colleagues.

Albus had spoken to him a few times, but Severus only answered in dull, monosyllabic words. After fully reporting the events from his captivity with the Death Eaters Severus had not spoken more than a few words to anyone except the students he was teaching. He was short-tempered in his classes and every House lost points for even minor infractions. The students were all walking on eggshells around him.

The bottle was empty. Severus looked at it blankly for a moment before summoning another. He was still far too sober in his own opinion. He could still remember the sight, the sounds, the smells...

He thought they would have killed him right away. Harry was sure to have escaped, as no wards could hold him in. For some reason they had left him alone for two days in the small, cold room, allowing his imagination to run wild. It was not a tactic Severus had ever seen Voldemort use before and that alone worried him greatly. He had been deep in thought when his door had opened and he sprang to his feet, but Voldemort cast the curse before Severus could utter a word.

And then Harry had been dragged in, dirty and bleeding and unconscious, naked from the waist up and his jeans hanging low. They had tossed him on the floor and Severus saw his back, lash marks crisscrossing the skin. He knew instantly why Harry was there. The foolish boy had allowed himself to be captured, to be tortured, all for a chance to save Severus.

He didn't deserve such a devoted son.

Severus had tortured him, had cursed him and hit him. Harry still saved him, despite that. Harry sent Albus to remove the Imperious curse. Harry was afraid of him, but still saved him.

He had an urge to kill himself, but that would make the torture Harry went through all for nothing, and he couldn't that to his son.

Albus hadn't even bothered to ask if Severus could stay for the Easter Holiday. The note he had sent essentially ordered Severus to leave the castle for the week, to put himself back together, and to return when the week was up. Severus thought Albus was deluding himself. There was little chance that a week would heal him. Still, he was going the only place he could the next day, Highlands Cottage. He supposed he could go to Potter Manor as well, but he couldn't face James, not after what he did to their son, the son James and Lily had died for.

The door to Severus's quarters swung open and Minerva McGonagall, angrier than Severus had ever seen her, stalked inside and slammed the door behind her. Severus stared wide-eyed as she banished the glass in his hand and the bottle before him. She glared as she crossed the room to where he sat in an alcohol induced stupor.

For a woman well past her sixtieth year she had quite a bit of strength, and every bit of it went into the slap that made his head turn so hard it wrenched his neck.

"You are despicable Severus Snape," Minerva hissed at him.

"I know." His cheek stung but he ignored it, deserved it.

"No," Minerva scolded him forcefully, her eyes fiery. "You are not allowed to pity yourself. I trusted you Severus, we all trusted you to fix things with Harry on your own and you haven't even said a word to him."

"He..."

She wouldn't let him get a word in, "He is a child! He may be seventeen, and legally an adult trained to fight and kill, but in many ways he is a lost little boy. You are the adult Severus. It is your job to seek him out and insist that he speak to you or at least listen to you."

"I lost that right when I tortured him," Severus refused to look her in the eye.

"Coward," Minerva spat at him. "You did not torture him. Voldemort tortured him and used you as his vessel. Harry knows that. The only thing he said to Poppy before he passed out was that you were in the Shrieking Shack under the Imperious Curse. He was concerned about you. The longer you wait Severus, the worse it will get. Stop indulging in self-pity and act like a responsible parent."

Severus winced. He heard Minerva cast several banishing spells and looked up.

"This is now a dry zone," Minerva announced. "Dobby has cleared Highlands Cottage and Potter Manor of all alcohol and is under orders to make sure none enters either building or this space. If I hear you have even paused in the door of the Hog's Head or any other pub I will recommend your suspension to the Board, danger to your life or not."

He was sure his jaw dropped. Minerva had never exercised her power as Deputy Headmistress. Harry must have been in worse shape than Severus had thought if she was going that far. There was fire in her eyes as she glared at him. He just nodded and she left his rooms without another word.

Severus considered her words carefully. Minerva McGonagall was like a lioness when it came to protecting her Gryffindors, and Harry Potter was a favorite of hers the moment he stepped inside the castle, hell, the moment he was born. He had no doubt she would have wrestled the basilisk herself to save him. Just as Severus and Albus would, Minerva would fight Voldemort for Harry if she could.

He changed his plans and left that night rather than the next morning. Potter Manor rose before him and Severus had to take several moments before he worked up the courage to step inside. He went straight to the Portrait Room. He would talk to Harry soon, but he needed forgiveness from two other people first.

"Sev," James's voice held surprise and Severus kept his eyes fixed on the floor, "who did you get in a fight with? That's a nasty bruise. If Padfoot was still around..."

"Fighting Sev?" Lily scolded.

Severus fell to his knees, head hanging, "No fighting. I deserved it."

"Who?" Lily questioned shrewdly.

"Minerva," Severus answered.

There was stunned silence. Severus knew that all the portraits at least knew who Minerva McGonagall was, and had probably all met her at one point or another. His eyes stung and he felt moisture on his cheeks, salty tears creeping into the corners of his mouth.

"What did you do Sev?" James asked quietly, warily, concerned.

"I hurt Harry," Severus confessed. He explained in detail, beginning at Percy's memorial and ending with his conversation with Minerva.

"Oh Sev," Lily's compassioned voice was like a knife in his heart. How could she forgive him so easily? He would never forgive himself.

"Look up Sev," James ordered. Severus did, and saw that Lily was in James's frame again, their arms around each other. For a moment he could almost feel them holding him. "You have always been too hard on yourself. Eat something and get some sleep Sev then come back to talk in the morning."

Severus just nodded. He stayed the whole week at the Manor, mostly talking to James and Lily and the rest of the Potters, who felt the need to add in their own opinions and advice every now and then. When the week ended he returned to the castle feeling much better.

Remus was ill. He would not admit to it, and refused to be examined by Poppy, but the entire castle knew that the werewolf was not well. Harry was looking much worse than when Severus had left, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to him yet. He waited first a few days. The days turned into weeks, and Minerva glared at him whenever there were no students around to see.

Severus was grading papers when his fireplace flared green and Poppy called for him.

His first thought had been Harry. He had waited too long. Somehow Harry had found a way around that ward that Remus found and had hurt himself. The relief he felt when he saw it was Remus lying in a hospital bed instead of Harry, and Harry sitting there holding onto Remus's hand rather than the other way around, was short-lived. If the werewolf died it would shatter Harry.

Could Severus bring up what was a clearly painful topic when Harry was watching by the deathbed of one of the only connections he had to his parents? It occurred to him a few days after he found the silver in the werewolf's blood that there was perhaps no better time. Harry looked almost as bad as he had after Black died. His son needed him, and Severus was being cowardly.

The Gryffindor had all but cut himself off from everyone around him. Severus suspected that Granger was the only one who could get a reaction of any kind out of Harry. He was tempted to call Charlie and summon the redhead to Hogwarts, but that might make the situation worse instead of better. Severus had no idea how the situation between his son and the dragon keeper stood.

"Harry," Severus croaked, his voice breaking for the first time in over twenty years. Harry looked up and tensed.

"I'm sorry," both apologized at the same time.

"Why are you sorry?" Severus didn't bother to mask his emotions. Harry would know them anyway.

"You told me to leave," Harry whispered hoarsely. He fidgeted with the blanket that covered Remus. "I let them take me. I let them hurt me. I... I let..."

Severus couldn't take it. He crossed the room and pulled Harry into a hug. Harry tensed in his arms but Severus held on until the tension went away.

"No Harry," Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Never apologize. No one has ever risked themselves for me. I am so sorry I hurt you."

"Why didn't you resist it?" Harry's voice was small, muffled as he pressed his face into Severus's robes, and Severus realized Harry didn't know the extent of the power Voldemort had over those he had Marked.

"The Dark Mark," Severus replied bitterly. "It connects us to him. It serves more purpose than a means for him to summon. No controlling curse can be resisted."

Harry started shaking and Severus wondered exactly what had been done to Harry in those two days when Severus was left alone. He knew the members of the Inner Circle only too well. He knew what they were capable of, what they enjoyed. Severus stepped back and held Harry at arm's length.

"What did they do to you?" Severus questioned quietly as he brushed some stray hairs, really all of them were stray, off of Harry's face.

Harry kept his head down and he tensed again, "No."

"Harry," Severus tried to keep his voice as calm as possible, though he was feeling a fury build inside him. "If you do not tell me I will assume the worst."

Harry looked up and the only thing Severus could see in those familiar eyes was pain. Harry looked him in the eye and Severus felt a strange rush of desperation and agony and self-loathing. It took him a moment to realize they were Harry's feelings. Then he felt the connection form, the same as it had at the Cottage, only Harry had firm control this time. Tears leaked out of the green eyes as Severus saw and heard his son's torture.

Crucio!

"No Lucius," Avery pushed Lucius's wand away, "it's much better when they struggle. Hold him Walden."

The connection ended abruptly and Harry had crumpled to the floor, his head cradled in his hands, soft sobs only barely loud enough for Severus to hear. Severus was nearly sick as the scene remained, burned into his mind, but he held it back to clean up after Harry, who had not been able to hold back.

Harry was rocking and crying hysterically. Guilt ripped Severus apart and he wanted to hunt down his former friends that had done this to his son, but Harry needed him there, not off seeking revenge. The appropriate time would come.

Severus knelt beside him. There was a violent jerk at first when Severus placed a hand on Harry's back, but Severus persisted and gently coaxed Harry into a hug. Harry gripped his robes in both hands and cried. The boy was too thin by far and Severus knew he would summon Dobby shortly to start Harry on nutrient potions again... and perhaps anti-nausea potions as well.

"I'll never let them near you again," Severus whispered to his son. "If they even look at you I will kill them."

"I should have gotten us out sooner," Harry gasped out.

Severus smoother back the messy black locks of hair, "I can't believe what you endured for me. I don't deserve you Harry, but I love you."

The crying stopped and Harry lifted his head up to stare at Severus, "You do?"

"You know Harry," Severus prompted his son. "What do you feel from me?"

"I... I love you too," Harry tucked his head again and whispered. There was quiet for several moments until Harry said in a small, somewhat scared voice, "I beat Albus. I disarmed him and then I stunned him. I... I'm scared Dad."

Severus swallowed and held Harry tighter. It was a turning point. If Harry could defeat Albus Dumbledore in a duel, and Severus knew that in those sessions Albus wasn't holding back at all, then he was most likely ready to face Voldemort. Harry seemed to understand that as well.

Four weeks remained until N.E.W.T.s. Severus altered the Good Dreams potion again, making it much more potent so Harry could sleep, and occasionally gave Harry nights with Dreamless Sleep. Albus asked Amelia to put Tonks on 'special assignment' and send her to Hogwarts when Severus told Albus that Harry would no longer fill in for the werewolf. His son had too much to deal with to be overworked like that. The metamorphmagus took on the shape of Remus Lupin and began teaching the Defense Against the Dark Arts classes in his place. She was an amazing actress, imitating Remus perfectly.

Harry returned to attending Potions class, but refused to answer the questions of his peers. The Slytherins who had allied themselves to Harry let the matter drop after the first refusal, but the Gryffindors were not as perceptive. When Harry started glaring at them every time they opened their mouths and avoiding the common room altogether they stopped pestering him.

All of Harry's free time was still spent in the hospital wing and Severus joined him when he could. Minerva was talking to him again, at least she was once Severus swallowed his pride and thanked her for slapping some sense into him, literally.

"How much longer?" Harry was holding Remus's hand and staring at his face.

Remus looked twice his age. His hair was almost entirely grey and his skin was papery and pale.

"I don't know," Severus replied honestly. "Any estimations are only guesses. After years of using Wolfsbane, and the one dose of the Elixir, his body chemistry is no longer that of a normal werewolf."

"The full moon is in a few days," Harry bit his lip. "I don't think he'll survive it."

Severus silently agreed with Harry's assessment. The strain of the transformation, even with the Wolfsbane and as many pain killers and muscle relaxants as they could risk, would probably be too much for him. Remus's heart was already weakened.

"I'm staying for it," Harry said in a tone that Severus could not argue. "I'll transform, but I'm staying. Someone should... should be... there..."

Harry looked up suddenly and his eyes rounded just a bit. Severus turned and looked over his shoulder. There was a couple standing in the doorway. They looked no older than fifty, both of them, but their appearances were deceiving. Severus had seen their faces in many drawings and photographs but never expected to see them in person. They had become reclusive, not seen in public in over one hundred years.

"Harry?" the man said.

Harry nodded and stood. He walked over to them and gave a short bow. At least some of the manners Severus had tried to instill had gotten through.

"We got your letter," the man said. Severus just blinked. Harry hadn't mentioned any letter. "My name is Nicholas Flamel and this is my wife Perenelle."

"It's an honor," Harry responded. "I'm sorry about the Stone."

Nicholas smiled, "Thank you for protecting it for us."

"Please Harry, call us Nick and Ellie," Perenelle said gently.

Harry turned slightly, "This is my father, Severus Snape."

"Professor," Nicholas smiled at him, "Albus has told me much about you. I have followed your work as well. You are a very gifted young man."

It was interesting being referred to as 'young man', but the man was more than six hundred years older than Severus, "Please call me Severus sir."

"Nick," Nicholas responded.

The Flamels both looked past Severus and saw Remus. Perenelle's hand went to her mouth and they crossed to his bedside.

"Remy," Perenelle bent down and brushed the werewolf's forehead with her lips. She looked up at her husband and nodded, tears in her eyes.

The flask he took from his pocket glowed bright red and Severus gasped in realization of what it contained. He saw Harry's eyes widen and his son came closer. Severus would have reached out and held him, but restrained himself. Harry hadn't allowed any physical contact, with anyone, aside from holding the unresponsive hand of the werewolf, since he broke down and showed Severus what happened to him.

Nicholas Flamel tilted back Remus's head and tipped the flask, pouring the glowing liquid while Perenelle massaged Remus's throat to force him to swallow. For several moments all four observers held their breath.

Finding the Key - Chapter 43

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