Welcome to The Pages of History! Greetings from Lestat, J K Girl, Big A, and Eponine. Otherwise known to the world as Lydia, Shrieka, Angela, and Regan. We'd like to say hello to Radioactive Cheese and $ as well (Jeannie and Saralyn), the present library pages. What exactly do library people do? Well, we shelve books, get the bookdrop, and pick up any stray books that patrons have left lying around.
Or so we used to. Now that we have all left the library (Coincidence? We think not.), our band of rebels do other things. Like what? Well first of all, we tend to save the world quite a bit. We also like to call Shrieka's house at three in the afternoon and make funny noises.
Page-ish News Flashes
Guess what, everybody? Angela graduated from High School as Salutitorian! Congratulations!
Lydia has graduated from High School too and is on her way collage with a huge scholorship! Wow!
In other page-ish news, Shrieka has reciently been seen flying a hummer with wings over the library, threatening to dive bomb it with six million coppies of Who Moved My Cheese. Stay tuned for further reports.
*Page Listings*
Being Pages, we tend to look at the titles of books, and believe us, there a few strange ones out there. Here's our list of Books of the Day:
1) 366 Ways to Cook Tofu
2) The Joy of Pickling
3) Who Moved My Cheese?
4) Seductions of Rice
5) Wash Your Hair With Whipped Cream
6) I Am the Cheese
7) The Best Fake Book Ever
8) Knitting With Dog Hair
9) How to Use This Book
10) How To Pinch a Penny Till It Screams
11) Blue Jelly: Love Lost and Lessons in Canning
12) The Attack of the Very Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space
Our list of: Stupid things that patrons say and responses that are guarenteed to get you fired.
1) Q: Where are the New Books?
A: Cross both arms, point, and say "That way."
2) Q: Do you have a Nonfiction section?
A: I'm sorry, not at this library. Perhaps you should try Main?
3) Q: Are the books in alphabetical order?
A: Only at certain times of the day. It's like the five cent nickel plan. Sometimes they're aranged in order of the cover color, but sometimes they aren't.
5) Q: I'm looking for this book number: 617.5774
A: Look dumbfounded. "Book?"
6) Q: Do you work here?
A: No.
7) Q:Excuse me, how do you find a book?
A: You don't. It finds you.
And now, and Interview with the Pages of History!
Announcer: Welcome to Interview with the Pages, a short Silly Story where we find out just what�s
going on in the lives of the Pages of History! And here we have Big A (Angela), Claudika
(Shrieka), Lestat (Lydia), and Eponine (Regan). And of course, who else should
interview the pages but the interviewer in Interview with the Vampire, Daniel Molloy!
Applause Applause
(The library pages each enter, smile at the camera, and take a seat at the table. Big A has on a snazzy leather jacket over her jeans. Eponine is dressed in a trenchcoat. Lestat is wearing all black along with purple sunglasses. Finally Claudika enters in a tee shirt and pants, dragging behind her what appears to be the outfit chosen for her, a yellow dress. Lestat frowns disaprovingly.)
Daniel: Hello and welcome to Interview with the Pages! How is everyone doing?
All: Fine!
Daniel: Great. Now then, why exactly did all of you want to leave the library?
Big A: Because we weren�t appreciated.
Claudika: And it smelled like cheese!
Daniel: (blinking in confusion) Cheese?
Claudika: (nods) Yes! and fish! Always fish! Fish fish fish! (jumps up and starts singing
about �fish and chips make a lovely dish�)
Eponine: Ignore her. She hasn�t been slapped today. Lestat? (Lestat nods, gets up, and
walks over to Claudika)
Lestat: Claudika, you�ve been a very, very naughty little girl!
SLAP!
(Claudika yells and immediatly tries to stab Lestat with a hairbrush, merely succeding in
falling off the table)
Claudika: Whew! What a trip! (she sits down in her seat and smiles, looking as composed
as ever)
Daniel: Um, okay. Moving on... what�s the deal with all of your names?
Lestat: Oh, well, mine and Claudika�s came from Interview with the vampire, Eponine�s
is from Les Miserables, and Big-
Claudika: Her name is Angie the Martyr! She is a page martyr... the first to walk out of
the library! (Claudika evidently thinks that she deserves something for this speech. She
pulls out a box of chocolate and begins to noisily devour it.)
Angie the Martry: Yeah!
Daniel: Well then.... (writes on his notepad) Okay. So what do you guys do?
Angie the Martyr: We talk on the phone or online a lot. We also go to movies and play
miniature golf.
Claudika: Golf! Doug! Doug is managing the miniature golf course! Ack! (She jumps up
from her chair and bolts towards the door. Eponine and Lestat dive forward and tackle
her, pinning her down to the floor.)
Eponine: Someone get the chocolate! (Claudika tries to squirm away as Eponine hits her
over the head with a box of chocolate)
Claudika: Must... see... Doug... ack! (the pages finally succeed in locking Claudika in a
dark closet with her chocolate) Ack!
Lestat: (smiling) You were saying?
Daniel: Um... um...
Eponine: (looking at her newsflash watch) Quick, everyone... the library is on fire! We
have to save them!
(The pages then fly to the library, where the break room is smoking)
Angie the Martry: *cough* What the-
Lestat: Look! It�s the microwave! (peers closer) It�s a styrofoam cup in the microwave!
Get it out!
Claudika: (from her closet) Ack!
(The pages succeed in fixing the microwave and thus save the world from total chaos.)
Angie the Martry: (back in the interviewing room) Okay. Problem solved.
Daniel: (looking at the clock) Whoa! Uh. Well, look at the time! Uh, that�s all the time
we have for now, uh, any parting words?
Angie the Martyr: Bookdrop Blues are best forgotten.
Eponine: Chocolate always comes in handy.
Lestat: Microwaves and styrofoam cups do not mix.
Claudika: Ack!
The End
Know any additions to our lists? Care to comment? Email the Dragoness.
Lassie, come
