my latest rant.
Someone
once told me; "The trials of today are so hard as to better prepare us for
tommorrow".
As I sit here at this moment contemplating those words I
think to myself, whats so hard in the future that these trials of now are
needed? What down that path of life is so tough that we are required to endure
such things that we do now? As we all know the biggest thing on the road to
finality is, death. I dont embrace death.. But I at the same time do not run
from it either... What good can come from a life of running? I think the only
trials in life that are truely needed is to make sure those you love, know that
you deeply and honestly do love them, and to have them understand that with out
the slightest doubt.
We must all wonder at some point in our lives, whats to come
of us? How do we accomplish the goals we set? Why must we work so hard to reach
what seems to be such simple goals? For many their personal goals are fairly
justified and seemingly easy to accomplish... For many I know its to surround
themselves with loving, caring company, a family or just to love themselves.
Though some already have a family and simply wish to find a means of providing
for them as best they can. But when you look at what is really needed to achieve
these personal goals, there is really allot of hardship and work involved in
paving the roads in which they must travel in order to reach their destination.
This is by no means a testiment telling everyone to quit, and
just take what they have and deal with that. But rather it is simply a bunch of
questions I routinely ask myself as I lie there in bed wondering, "what
happens next, and why?". I spend the majority of my nights lying down
staring blankly into the darkness with a million and one questions boarding and
disembarking from my train of thought. Some nights however I manage to fall
asleep with a empty mind, and clear concience. Others however, I toss and turn
during my personal exploration of my psyche. Wondering to myself what is it that
drives me to make certain choices, or actions. Will the choices of today affect
the happenings of tomorrow? Or are they as insignifigant as i feel most my
doings are?
The truth we all know deep down in our souls that what we do,
not only affects us, but those around us. Our actions can tip the delicate
balance on the scales of life. Minor or even major degrees of change can affect
the largest of things. When you really think of change is there any sort that is
small, or unaffecting? Who really knows? I sure don't... But one thing i am sure
of... Thats enough thinking for today - My head hurts.
Aaron