Rating: PG-13
Author: Earthenwing
1. Thunderbird
Todd dreamed of the man with the cameras in his eyes, squinting buck-toothed Charlie man with a glinting lens in his right socket like a Star Trek Borg blinking black plastic shutters at him, wheezing the dull electric wheeze, smiling buck-toothed glinting white smiles. The man had a greasy nose.
�Smile, Todd.� The Charlie Man would say, looking down at him and focusing the lenses, taking photographs while Todd cried and shivered, wanting his clothes and his mother and anything that would get him out of this stale burnt smelling apartment with the roaches under the refrigerator that came out and scurried over his feet at night.
�Smile, Todd. We�re all one big, happy family, now. One big, happy family.�
That was what Todd dreamed about in October, when the rust was on the trees, and Kurt Wagner had broken his nose.
2. Foreign
Kurt cursed loudly, fluently, in two languages, fists made up at his sides and trembling, spitting, hating with every bit of himself, hating the thing that brought him low. Scott and Jean stayed clear of him, pushed the rest of the Xmen away, though only Jean knew the real reason for his rage; nothing Todd had said, no dirty fighting or little cruelty, but that Todd had grabbed him by the hair and kissed him behind the mall, and he�d been able to taste the filthy desperation on his lips.
Not so alien. Not so far flung. But not his.
3. Dissect
There were things you ignored. Things you tried to ignore. Todd was one of these things, but it was hard; he was something sad and puppy doggish, hovering not far out of sight like a stalker and setting Kurt�s fur on end. �Ignore him, he�ll go away.� Kitty advised. Except that hadn�t seemed to work for anyone else.
�What. What do you want!� Kurt finally snapped, spinning on him in the school hallway after hours, the press of bodies having moved Todd closer than he meant to be, within range of Kurt�s irritation.
Todd averted his eyes, body posture submitting to Kurt�s aggression, shoulders down and head bowed.
�What.� Kurt demanded.
Todd looked at the floor. The locker. He fumbled in his pocket and produced an edge worn sheet of notebook paper, folded into an impossible square, and offered it to Kurt. Kurt snorted and turned away.
After a long moment Todd hesitantly dropped his arm and slunk away from him, disappearing into the hallway.
�What.� Kurt said flatly, staring at the back of his locker.
Nothing.
4. Crunch
The sound sparrow bones make when you step on them, wrapped in gauze like an Egyptian mummy.
There was something wrong with the fundamental order/disorder of things.
Wanda called him names today, and it didn�t hurt that badly. Todd fidgeted with the little square of paper, wearing the edges down even further, smudging up the outside with his fingerprints. There was something to be done. Something.
When Todd went up to his room, Freddy caught Lance by the arm and began muttering to him, quietly, looking uncomfortably towards the stairs. Lance glanced that way once, nodding a few times, and muttering softly back.
There was something wrong with the fundamental order/disorder of things.
5. Locker
Somebody had cracked the lock on his locker door. It hung open, slightly, and Amanda didn�t even notice it, just went on talking about her science project. Kurt scowled and pulled the lock out of the loop, opening the door and looking around for what had been taken (or added.) Nothing. Nothing was out of place. It could be he just hadn�t locked it all the way. Possibly.
He collected his binder and books, shoving them in his backpack, and headed off to first period, Amanda in tow. She said something, and it made him laugh. He forgot about the lock.
It was there he discovered, zippered neatly into his binder, the little folded square of notebook paper, corners worn and surface smudged.
6. Bird
RUN
7. Broken Window
�What is this?� Kurt demanded, keeping his voice at a normal level, brandishing the sheet of paper in Todd�s direction.
Todd, sitting on a bench outside, by himself, kept his head down, and did not look up.
�Nothing.� He mumbled.
�You went through the effort of breaking into my locker and leaving me this note. And all it says is �run�.� Kurt said, sitting down next to him, but not too close. �Why?�
Todd glanced at him sideways, not raising his head. There was something off. Something subtly off, like a different writer coming to work on your favorite sitcom.
�Why does it say �run�, Todd?� Kurt prompted.
Todd only looked at him for a long moment. Then he reached a hand across and caught Kurt by the jaw, and tried to pull him towards him. Kurt jerked back violently, shoving Todd�s face away and jumping off the bench, looking around quickly to see if anyone had seen that.
�What was that??� he demanded.
�You asked.� Todd said flatly.
Kurt opened his mouth, confused and wanting an explanation, but not badly enough to actually hear the explanation. He sputtered and turned tail, scuttling off, back to Amanda and the XMen and the bright, shiny world.
8. Smoke
Shit. �He�s doing it again.� Pietro informed them, trying and failing to move Todd out of the optimum viewing spot on the sofa. Freddy stuck his head in. Todd was curled, knees to chest and boneless, staring glassily at the television set without blinking. Freddy left the kitchen, fumbling in the front pocket of his overalls for the dented pack of Winstons he�s confiscated from someone�s jacket a week or so ago (he himself did not smoke)
�Right, give him a cigarette.� Pietro snorted. �That�ll help.�
�It helps when he�s being weird.� Freddy said, sticking one in his mouth and awkwardly lighting it. He grimaced, not inhaling, and stuck the cigarette between Todd�s lips. �Maybe it�ll help when he�s doing this.�
�Or it�ll just send him further into vegetable land.� Pietro said.
Todd didn�t inhale. The cigarette hung listlessly from his lips, still staring glassily at the television set. Smoke streamed into his eyes, but he didn�t blink.
�Smoke.� Freddy ordered, frowning.
Todd did not comply.
After a minute Freddy sighed and took the cigarette, putting it out in the ashtray.
�Well I�m not waiting for coma boy to come out of it.� Pietro said, and grabbed Todd by the arms, hauling him off the couch and dumping him onto the floor. He sat down where Todd had been. Todd lifted his head and looked around glassily, a slight line of confusion creasing his forehead, and made an attempt to crawl away. He got a foot or so and gave up, laying face down in the carpet. Pietro put his feet on Todd�s hips and changed the channel with the remote. Freddy just frowned at them, and went to turn Todd�s face out of the shag.
9. Birds
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
THERES SOMETHING GOING ON, BE CAREFUL. DON�T LOOK AT FREDDY.
I�M SORRY. PLEASE TALK TO ME. I LOVE YOU.
�I want these to stop.� Kurt muttered, crumpling up another note and throwing it into the wastepaper basket in his room.
10. Strangle
�You just need to sit down with him and tell him how you feel.� Kitty said, with her ineffable female logic. �He�s got a crush on you.�
�I�m not sure that�s all.� Kurt muttered.
�Sure it is. Lance said Todd�s having a little trouble, but when ISN�T he having trouble. Look, the reason telling him off never worked for Wanda is she never did it calmly to his face.� She said, twiddling her pencil thoughtfully. �He�s the incredibly hopeful type. He thought Wanda was just playing hard to get, and he thought his persistence would pay off. But with you, it won�t. You�re a straight guy and you�re dating a beautiful girl you�re head over heels for, and he�s simply got no chance in the world. So just set him down and explain to him that you aren�t interested, you never will be interested, and it would be best if he left you alone. But be calm, be gentle, and be firm.�
Kurt was still frowning. �But if he wanted so badly to hook up with me, why did he give me that note telling me to run?�
�No idea. Like I said, Lance says he�s having some problems. How bad can it be though, right? He�s Todd. You can handle him.�
Kurt was still frowning. But Kitty was right. He was Todd. He could handle him.
11. Windmills
Todd just watched him, carefully, silently. Kurt sat down hesitantly beside him on the ground, ready to run if Todd tried to kiss him again.
�We need to talk.� He said simply.
Todd just blinked at him. �Talk.� He said.
�Not here. Someplace private.� Kurt said, shaking his head.
Todd frowned, but slowly stood, hand hovering up to scratch at a place near his hairline, scritching like a squirrel. Kurt led the way, and Todd followed like an obedient puppy, trailing him around behind the school, behind the fieldhouse, where the smokers and the thugs hung out. As soon as they got behind the building Todd fished a cigarette out of his bag and stuck it in his lips, lighting it, and watching him move Kurt got the feeling again that the wrong writer had taken up the show, and things just weren�t right anymore.
�Todd, I�ve been getting your notes in my binder. The ones you�ve been breaking into my locker to send me. I want them to stop.� He said, as cool and collected as he could manage.
Todd gave no reaction, watching him with the cigarette in his lips and two fingers scissored around the cigarette.
�Look Todd, I like girls. And I�m catholic, I�m not comfortable with this sort of thing. I�m dating Amanda and I�m very happy with her, and there is absolutely no chance I will ever be interested in you. Do you understand?�
He wasn�t sure Todd was listening. Todd was just watching him, blowing plumes of smoke now and then to show he was still alive.
�Todd?�
�I get it.� Todd said.
�Good. Then there won�t be any more letters?�
Todd shook his head. Kurt allowed himself a smile of relief, though he suspected it was slightly hysterical; Todd was disturbing him.
�Alright. That�s fine then. You just�keep to yourself. Goodbye, Todd.�
Kurt turned and left. He glanced behind him as he rounded the corner of the fieldhouse, and Todd was still standing exactly where he�d left him, staring, smoke streaming into his eyes.
12. Bird
I LOVE YOU
13. Toilet Seat
Kurt methodically tore the note into one centimeter squares, flushing them ten at a time down the rest room toilet and cursing.
14. Cuffs
�Maybe you just weren�t clear enough.� Kitty was saying, standing in the back garden watching the wind blow dead leaves across the frosty stones.
�How much clearer can I get!� Kurt snapped. �I told him I wanted the letters to stop! I told him I wasn�t interested, I told him there was no chance! And what happens? More love notes! He�s creeping me out!�
Kitty turned her head to the side, squinting at the bobbing head of a dead rose. �Have you talked to Amanda about any of this?� she asked abruptly.
�Amanda? No. Of course not.�
�Why not?�
�She doesn�t need to know I�ve got Todd sending me love letters. It�s weird.�
�Maybe you should tell her.� Kitty said. �If this is getting to be a problem, she ought to know about it.�
�No. No way. She�ll probably want to sit down with the both of us and talk it out. I don�t think I can handle that.�
Kitty shrugged.
�I think there�s something going on with him.� Kurt said.
�Why�s that?�
�Because he�s�he�s creepy. He was just staring at me. When he was obsessed with Wanda he was always flirting, always trying to get her attention. With me he just stares. It�s weird.�
��I suppose I could talk to Lance about him and see if there�s something more going on.�
�Don�t tell him about this.� Kurt said sharply.
�No. Of course not.� She smiled.
15. Columbus
The Brotherhood house reeked of cigarette smoke. Kitty could barely breathe inside, sensitive. Freddy was in the kitchen, feeding Todd cigarette after cigarette with the windows open to the frozen November air and oven roaring, belching fumes of that night�s dinner into the wind.
Kitty flapped her sweater on the front walk, trying to get the smell out.
16. Warehouse
�Leave him alone.� Kitty said, shaking her head. Her hair smelled like cigarettes.
�What? What did you find out?� Kurt asked.
�It�s complicated. I don�t think talking to him is going to do any good. Tear up the notes. Ignore him. Just try to keep out of his way and maybe he�ll leave you alone.�
�But what�s going on?�
Kitty just shook her head again. �Just ignore him. There�s nothing else you can do.�
17. Birds
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
KURT. PLEASE TALK TO ME. I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU
WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU. MEET ME BEHIND THE FIELDHOUSE AFTER SCHOOL.
STOP AVOIDING ME. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU. MEET ME BEHIND THE FIELDHOUSE AFTER SCHOOL.
PLEASE TALK TO ME. I LOVE YOU. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
STOP AVOIDING ME. THIS ISN�T FUNNY ANYMORE.
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
TALK TO ME PLEASE TALK TO ME
WHATEVER I DID I�M SORRY
DO YOU THINK I�M PLAYING AROUND? MEET ME AT THE BOWLORAMA AT 5:30 TONIGHT.
THIS ISN�T FUCKING FUNNY KURT. WHY�S AMANDA SO MUCH BETTER THEN ME?
WHAT IF AMANDA WASN�T SO PRETTY ANYMORE? WOULD YOU TALK TO ME THEN?
KURT I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
TALK TO ME
I LOVE YOU
I�M GOING TO GET THAT FUCKING BITCH
18. Funny
Mr. Sefton came padding across the carpet in his bare feet, tying his bathrobe irritably as the pounding continued, frantic and incessant. His wife and daughter peeked out from the hallway, bleary and confused.
�Dad? Who is it?� Amanda asked, pushing messy hair out of her face.
Twelve thirty two am. The first snow of winter softly falling outside the window.
�Go back to bed.� Mr. Sefton ordered.
Their heads retreated, but they did not go back to bed. Mr. Sefton made sure the chain was latched and pulled the door open slightly, peering out at the slightly disheveled, wild eyed boy standing in the corridor, running a hand absently though his hair.
�Mr. Sefton, is Amanda okay?� Kurt blurted.
�Kurt, it�s after midnight�� he began.
�Is Amanda okay??�
Mr. Sefton hesitated. �Of course she is. She�s in bed.�
�I need to see her.�
�It�s far too late for that��
�Please, it�s important!�
Mr. Sefton paused. After a long moment he closed the door and pulled the chain, and let Kurt inside.
19. Nothing
�It�s snowing.� Lance informed him, standing on the back porch with his arms crossed over his chest.
Todd was standing in the middle of the back yard, face turned up into the falling snow, flakes coming towards him like warp speed on the Enterprise, flying through space with no ship and no helmet.
Thunderbirds through the stars.
�Todd.� Lance prompted, coming down off the porch. Todd wasn�t wearing a jacket, snow collecting on his filthy sweater. He didn�t seem to get cold. He didn�t seem to get anything lately.
�You have to come inside. It�s late and it�s snowing.�
Todd glanced towards him, face still turned up into the swirling white warp speed of snow. There were tracks running across his temples, into his dirty hair, and his eyes were faintly red. He held out his hand. Lance sighed, and felt in his pocket. He didn�t agree with Freddy�s habit of giving him cigarettes until he could barely breathe, even if they did keep him calmer. He offered his pack, and Todd pulled one out, putting it in his mouth and lighting it with the lighter that had been confiscated six times and stolen back six times.
Snow left damp spots on the cigarette as he blew smoke into the falling snow.
�What are you doing out this time of night, anyway?� Lance asked, herding Todd back towards the house.
Todd shook his head, tears forging a new path down the crease of his nose and into his mouth.
�Nothin.�
Smoke followed them into the kitchen. Lights went out at Lance herded Todd up to bed. Eventually, the house was quiet.