Rating: PG
Pairing: Casey/Raph
Author: Earthenwing
�I mean, there are people like that.� Casey was saying, fidgeting the remote control between his hands. They were in his apartment, the television on low, dark filling up the corners of the room. �I�m not, but you know. There are people.�
�Whaddaya mean, people like that?� Raph said. He himself was fidgeting the neck of a beer bottle, but with only one hand, swinging it in slow, wide circles. �People who like freaks?�
�Well, not freaks. You know. Animals. People who like animal people. I forget what they call em.�
Raphael snorted.
�No, seriously. I saw an episode of, what was it, CSI or something? All about people who dress up in animal costumes and have conventions. And, uh, other stuff.�
�Other stuff?� Raph prompted suspiciously.
�Kinky stuff. Like get in a big pile and rub on each other.� Casey sounded uncomfortable. �Furries, yeah, that�s what they were called. Furries.�
�I�m not furry.�
�Don�t gotta be. You�re a giant talking turtle. The real thing. Somebody out there has to think that�s hot.�
�You know Casey, you�re real good at making a guy feel like crap, you know that?�
�Just sayin.�
Raph snorted and drank from the bottle. It wasn�t his first one. But he wasn�t drunk, either.
�It�s not exactly what you wanna hear, that somewhere out there there�s a person who�s a big enough freak to think you�re attractive.�
�You gotta admit, for a normal person, the turtle thing is a lot to overlook.� Casey said. �You got three fingers and a tail.�
�Yeah, and you got five fingers and hair all over your body.�
�Point taken.�
Casey set the remote by his leg and reached down by his foot where his own beer was resting. He took a sip, and fidgeted with it.
�Be easier if we could actually get out and talk to people.� Raph said, leaning back in the armchair. �But we can�t risk anyone knowing about us. So it�s pretty much just you and April. And April�s never giving it up. So that just leaves you.� He snorted.
Casey was staring at him blankly.
�Don�t suppose you wanna get married and have babies, huh?� Raph tried to joke.
Casey continued to stare at him blankly. The smile left Raph�s face and he looked down at his beer, unable to catch the silence as it fell into awkwardness.
�Yeah. I, uh, don�t think that�d work, Raph.� Casey said, frowning uncomfortably at the awkward silence.
�Just kidding.� Raph muttered. �Lighten up, will ya?�
They mirrored each other, taking drinks out of their beer bottles and putting them back between their hands.
�Anyway, you guys are always running into like, chicks from other dimensions and alien babes and stuff like that.� Casey said. �You can always hook up with one of them.�
�Yeah, and I don�t really wanna have to go live on Neptune for the rest of my life because I married Marvin the Martian.�
�You�d be living on Mars.�
�You know what I mean.�
Fidgeting.
�Then I guess you gotta find the furry crowd in New York, huh?� Casey said.
�I also don�t wanna hook up with somebody who�s only interested in my tail. Maybe for a little while would be alright. But come on. Who wants to live the rest of their life with a freak?�
Casey looked at him. �Dude. You�re picky.�
�Hey, it�s not like I�m ever gonna find anybody, anyway. I can afford to be picky.�
Casey snorted and leaned back, gesturing to bring it on. �Alright, lay it on me. What�s your dream date.�
�Dream date?� Raph smirked. �Lesse. Gotta know how to fight. I�m not protecting a damsel in distress. I want somebody who can hold their own in a fight and doesn�t need looking after.�
�Alright.� Casey smirked. �Mythic date requirement number two?�
Raph thought for a moment. �Doesn�t care I�m a turtle.� He said. �If they�re a turtle? Sweet. If they�re not? Doesn�t give a damn. Not turned on by it, not turned off by it. Just doesn�t care.�
Casey nodded. �And?�
�And of course thinks I�m the greatest thing in the universe.� Raph grinned.
Casey snorted. �Yeah, good luck there, pal.�
�Hey, dream date, right? Anything I want. Thinks I�m God.�
�Maybe you should settle for not thinking you�re the biggest ass in New York.� Casey grinned.
�I believe you accepted that title.�
�Then quit trying to take it over.�
Raph grinned at him, and half raised the beer bottle to his lips, hesitating. He looked at Casey, and away, lowering the beer bottle.
�I propose a toast.� Casey said. �To being picky sons of bitches who will never ever get what we want.� He raised his beer bottle.
Raph leaned over and clinked it. �That�s a shit toast, by the way.� He said, drinking.
�Eh. Honesty and all that.�
Raph looked into the mouth of his bottle. �Anyway, I don�t see you as the picky type. I see you as the grab anything you can type.�
�Nice, Raph. Real nice.�
�Hey, just being honest.�
�Grab you if you don�t behave.�
�You just threaten my tail?�
�Yes I did.�
�Thought you weren�t that type.�
Casey stuck his tongue out at him. Raph paused, then made a face. �Ew. You just threatened my tail.�
�Shut up.�
�Perv.�
�Shut up.�
�Furry little pervert.�
�I said shut up!�
�Make me!�
Casey Jones lurched up to his feet, and the smile left Raph�s face, confused and for a moment thinking Casey was actually going to attack him. But Casey just stood there scowling at him for a moment (swayed once; he�d already been a few beers in when Raph came over) and turned away, wandering off to the kitchen. �Yeah, whatever.� He muttered.
Raph frowned, and stood up, trailing after him as Casey aimlessly opened the refrigerator and shuffled around inside it.
�What�s your problem.� Raph asked, leaning against the doorframe.
�Eh, go watch TV.� Casey said. �I�ll be back in a minute.�
Raph just stood there watching him. Eventually, Casey pulled out a carton of orange juice and took a drink from it, making a face at the taste of oranges and beer in his mouth. He turned the face to Raph.
�Hey, I�m not weird or anything, you know.� He muttered, putting the cap back on the orange juice.
�Whaddaya mean, you�re not weird?�
Casey looked at the side of the carton. �Not like I�m one of those furry freaks.� He mumbled.
Raph stared at him. Casey turned back around, putting the carton back in the fridge and resuming his aimless shuffling.
After a long moment Raph came to stand beside Casey. �You just mean what I think you meant?� he demanded, brow furrowed and lip pulled up slightly. Casey didn�t look at him. �Cause it sounded like you just said-- well you know what that sounded like!�
Casey muttered something, and settled for just staring into the refrigerator, not looking at Raph. Raph pushed his shoulder. �Hey, talk to me, moron! You don�t get to go all freaky on me and then shut up! What do you mean by that??�
�It means what you think it means!� Casey snapped, shutting the refrigerator door and stalking away from Raph, back towards the living room. �Whatever you think it means, that�s what it means! Now shut up about it!�
Raph did, for a few moment, trailing after Casey and staring at him as he sat back down on the couch, irritably flipping channels. After a moment, he came after him and pulled the remote from his hands, turning off the television and sitting down on the couch. They didn�t look at each other. It was silent.
�So what, you�you like me?� Raph said, using a grade school term out of sheer awkwardness. �Like�LIKE like me?�
�Yeah. So. Something like that.� Casey muttered. �Who cares.�
Silent again.
�You�uh�.� Raph tried, and came up blank. �Do I have to kiss you or anything?�
�What?�
Casey stared at him, clueless, and Raph stared back. Equally clueless.
�This is weird.� Raph muttered, running a hand over his head.
�You can leave if you want.� Casey mumbled, arms crossed defensively.
Raph swallowed. �What if I, uh, don�t leave?�
Casey looked at him. �You want to stay?� he asked, sounding confused.
�Well, I mean�. What if I do?�
Casey blinked. �Uh, nothing. I guess.�
�Oh.�
They stared at each other. Casey bit his lip.
�Uh, can I just try something?� He said hesitantly, and leaned forward. Raph leaned back equally but his shell hit the arm of the sofa and Casey caught up to him, pressing their lips together. Raph blinked at him close range for a moment before Casey pulled back, biting his lip and looking unsure.
�That was weird.� Raph admitted, blinking.
�Uh, yeah. It kind of was.�
Quiet a moment. Casey chewed his lip.
�Uh, tell you what.� Casey said. �Why don�t I turn the TV up and we have a few more beers. Just chill. That sound good?�
�I can deal with that.� Raph said, nodding slowly.
Casey reached across Raph and grabbed the remote, hitting volume up until the TV was audible again. Raph retrieved his beer from by the armchair and brought it back to the couch. They settled and fidgeted for a few minutes until they were comfortable together, not really touching but close, and watched the late night slasher flick play out on the movie channel.
Not perfect. But close enough.