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Gorm's S-Word Awards: Definitions.

Schmuck.
A schmuck is a stupid, obnoxious, contemptible person. Schmuck is literally Yiddish for penis; a schmuck, basically, is a prick.

Schlemiel.
A schlemiel is an unlucky bungler, a dolt. Probably comes from Shelumiel, son of Zurishaddai (Numbers 7.36), a prince of the tribe of Simeon. According to the Talmud, Shelumiel was killed while committing adultery.

Schlimazel.
An unfortunate person for whom everything goes wrong. Slimp, wrong or crooked, + mazl, luck.

Somebody once described the difference between a schlemiel and a schlimazel thus: A schlemiel is a person who goes through life spilling soup. A schlimazel is the person he spills it on.

This Week's S-Word Awards
Based on the events of the last week.

Schmuck of the Week:
Senator Jim Inhofe

"The Dumbest Senator of All" speaks out On Abu Ghraib:

"I'm probably not the only one up at this table that is more outraged by the outrage than we are by the treatment."

"I would guess that these prisoners wake up every morning thanking Allah that Saddam Hussein is not in charge of these prisons."

Yes, Senator, you're probably right. That would make a good campaign slogan for Shrub this year:

BUSH: NOT AS BAD AS SADDAM HUSSEIN.
Schlemiel of the Week: George Walker Bush

Jeopardizing American security. Stirring up further resentment among Muslims and Arabs. Doing his best to abolish your civil rights. All because "God" told him to. This clown spills soup like no president we've ever had.

Schlimazel of the Week:
(Tie)
The People of Iraq
The People of the United States

Make no mistake about it. Shrub's mistakes and misguided zealotry are not just pissing away the future of Iraq, they're putting all Americans at risk. Again.

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