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My Thoughts... |
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If you'd like to comment on my thoughts, or anything else about me or my site, let me know. Sign my guestbook, or e-mail me. |
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On Gay Marriages: |
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3/20/04 |
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In recent weeks the campus newspaper at the University of Rhode Island has been printing editorial after editorial about gay marriages. They range from pure hatred of gays and their fight for equal rights, to flag waving Pride. There appears to be no middle ground, and little to no respone from the gay community. It seems as though we are leaving it up to our straight counterparts to speak out for us. I am no better, I'm too afraid to speak out myself. I dont' want to come out via the student newspaper. So instead, I have chosen to post my thoughts here, in the safety of my webpage, where (to a certain extent) I can control who sees what I have written. As a young gay man, I hope to one day be able to marry the one I love. I dont see what difference it makes to other people if I wnat to express my love in a legally binding and public manner. Who will it hurt? If its the term "marriage" that bothers the Religious Right so much why nto change the term? It's a just a word. All I want is the same rights afforded to heterosexual couples. We are not different, and deserve no less. Get with the times people. |
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On The War in Iraq: |
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4/13/04 |
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Have you ever seen the movie "Wag the Dog"? Does this whole war seem similar to you? I guess it's not exactly the same. President W. is'nt covering up a scandal, just covering up his own stupidity. I mean, the man has an IQ of half my shoe size (I have very small feet). If I was old enough in 2000 I would have voted for him. He had more character than the piece of drift wood we called Vice President Gore. But now, after seeing Bush in action I dont' want him anywhere near DC ever again. He has destroyed our country and divided us. Why a Civil War II hasn't broken out is beyond me. I look at the things Bush has said about Iraq and Saddam and I see no truth to any of it. Where are the Weapons? Where are the chemials? Why is'nt Bush being put on trial for war crimes? There have been Prime Ministers and Kings executed for less than what Bush is doing now. He's messing around with a sovereign state for his own benefit and to avenge his father's humiliation. His accusations have all been proven false. I say impeach the man on the charges of incompetency. Get the Homicidal Texan out of our White House. |
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On Friendship: |
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4/19/04 |
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Friendship is a funny thing. Where does one draw the line? Is the person you sit next to in class three times a week but rarely talk to otherwise really your friend? What about the kid you met in the dining hall last semester that says hi to you when you see him on campus? What about the people you spent almost every day with for four years but have'nt talked to in a year? I don't know the answers. I dont' knwo where the line between friends and acquaintances really is. Recently I've not made much of an effort to stay in touch with my friends and family. Too lazy? Too busy? I don't know. I find myself not having the patience to sit down and write an e-mail or letter to the people I once held so close to me. If any of you are reading this, I still love you and think about you every day. Just because your picture isn't on my website, and I have'nt e-mailed you does'nt me I forgot you. As my circle fo freinds expands with each passing week, month, and year there will alwyas be room in my heart and life for those of you who have meant the most to me and my development as a person. |
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On Life and Transformation: |
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4/21/04 |
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People try to tell me that to dream of the person you want to become is to waste the person you are. But what if the person you are is a waste? I'm nto fishing for compliments here, I'm jstu thinking out loud. I look at myself and I see nothgin worth holding on to. So I want to change. I want to change everythign. My look, my body, my teeth, my attitude, my lifestyle. I want to change everythgin that makes me who I am. WHy? Because I'm not happy with who I am. I say and do things I regret. I think and act in ways I wish I could control better. And let's face it..I'm not gorgeous. So my transformation has begun. I'm goignto spend less time sittign aloen in my room feelgin sorry for myself. I'm goign to eat better, exercise more and do a little shoppign to get some more appropriate clothing. I need to find a place to live, a job. I need to grow up. Its' time for adulthood. I'm scared as hell, but I'm getting there. I'm slowly makgin progress and one day soon I'll actaully be who I want to be. And the world will be mine. But for now the work continues, 5 lbs down, 25 more to go. |
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My Transformation Cont'd: |
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4/24/04 |
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I had a long chat with Mom today. We talked about my moving out on my own and the troubles I'm having with school and the like. My car recently broke. I think the transmission is shot. That means the money I had origianlly intended for a security deposit and first month's rent on an apartment is now goign to go to my car. And I can't go find a job beucase I have no car to get to interviews or to drop off applications. I am beginning to panic. And I'm plannign on leaving school, I think. I dont' know. Ther'es so much goignon right nwo tha tI cant' think clearly. All of a sudden, after two years of beign at URI I'm makgin friends and having a good time. So nwo I'm torn, shoudl I leave? Shoudl I stay? I dont' liek my major. I dont' liek the policies here, but I will miss the people. Does tha tmake ti worth staying? And I know my grandfather si rollign over in his grave. I knwo he'll be so disapointed with me if I dont' finish school. And Mrs. RIchardson...I just dont' know. She alwyas todl me to do what made me happy, but she also really pushed me to get through high school adn to excell in education. I feel liekI shodul eb loyal to my grandfather and my mentor, and I wnat to be here with ym friends. But I'm so unhappy. Any thoughts? |
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On Saying Good-Bye |
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May 2004 |
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The end of the semester here at URI has arrived. Finals are over, peopel are packed up, others have already gone. It's heart breaking. I spent the whole year here miserable and alone until about a month ago. All of a sudden my circle of friends expanded ten fold. The past month has been amazing. I've realyl changed, and it's all thanks to my friends. You guys have no idea hwo much you mean to me. Fabio, Mike, Ian, Christine, Erin, Telle, Drew, Barbara, Sarah, Jackie, Emma, Tom, Kevin...even the Lunch Ladies at Rojo's. You've all made this semester a little mreo bearable in yrou own way. As I look ahead I have no idea where I'll be this summer, or in the fall. Maybe I'll return to URI, maybe I'll be someplace else. I guess it all remaisn to be seen. But I thank all of you for what you haev doen for me. I'm a whole new person, happier, more confident, and it's all becuase of you. Each fo you has done somethign special for me. I know, this is totally gay....go figure. But I lveo you! I realyl dont' know where I'd be right now if it was'nt for all of you. |
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