four more

the ddddirty pop collective

j-lo // lizzie // sandy // tiffany

 

running commentary.

Bobblehead purchases // BET 106 & Park // MTV TRL appearance // Regis & Kelly appearance // MTV Secret Santa contest // Michael Jackson special performance

j-lo:  first thing i see when i turn in the tv: wade.
sandy:    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! so painful!
j-lo:  what did i do to deserve that?
sandy:    listening to n sync mp3s. like the anti-sync song.
j-lo:  although they did show the clip where he fell on the vmas
j-lo:  so that was funny, at least
j-lo:  i really like the anti-sync song
sandy:    fuck! i want that clip. and me, too, thinking of burning to cd.
sandy:    anti-sync and that's the way love goes.
j-lo:  yes!
sandy:    dude, is there anything on MTV today? cause i'm gonna just dub puppies for you all day. ;)
j-lo:  whoo!
j-lo:  no, i really don't think there is anything ona t all
sandy:    of course you say that. :)
j-lo:   www.jcchasez.nu/pics/pics/dragnfli8/otlpromo09.jpg
sandy:    he's so fucking hot.
j-lo:  he sho is
sandy:    Lance: deserves Justin more than JC.
j-lo:  i know, dude
j-lo:  like, when i saw that picture, i was all, "timberwhat? timberwho?"
sandy:    all you could hear was "baaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaa"
sandy:    can i say, i'm in love with my bobblehead.
j-lo:  JC: Have the lambs stopped screaming?
j-lo:  i'm DYING for mine!
sandy:    i'm literally on the floor laughing at your JC comment.
j-lo:  hee!
sandy:    for the girl who has everything I bring you Lance Bobblehead.
j-lo:  LOL
sandy:    i love my Lance B. i like to make him bobble. and the longer I
have him, the more he kinda looks like Lance, you know?
j-lo:  yeah
j-lo:  i do
j-lo:  what makes me sad is that the jc bobble doesn't look like jc at all
sandy:    This morning I asked him about what our schedule today and he
lied to me. and then he said something dorky about world peace.
j-lo:  like, the face is too square.  the features are too harsh
j-lo:  LOL
j-lo:  jc's little face is soft!
sandy:    yeah, they're plastic. or whatever they're made of.
j-lo:  but, like, they harshed him out too much
sandy:    Lance B doesn't really look like B!G!L!
j-lo:  the juju one appears to look a lot like juju
sandy:    which makes Lance B very very happy.
j-lo:  yo, jc's just so happy to get a friend
j-lo:  because he's been having to play with justin the dog
sandy:    dogs are cute.
sandy:    he gets Lance B soon.
j-lo:  he bobbles, "i want a MAN!"
sandy:    if i was down with the JoLa, you know, Lance B could be happy next week.
j-lo:  but you are NOT!
j-lo:  i'm not getting chris and hoey.  the value on jc's all down and shit cause he's out of the box and shit, i didn't even keep the box, so i don't need a whole collection
j-lo:  not that i would have gotten them anyway lol
sandy:    I kept the box. i like the box.
j-lo:  i should have
j-lo:  i threw it out on wednesday, in my dana whitaker-esque fit of cleaning
sandy:    the counterlady was all, "I'm sure they'll be worth money someday." and i'm all, "Uh, yeah. That's why I'm getting it."
j-lo:  lol
sandy:    Dude, it was sooooooooooo embarrassing. I had my import n sync single and as soon as I got up to the counter, I grabbed the lance bobblehead box and did a little squee.
j-lo:  hee!
j-lo:  dude, what i did?  i didn't know they were up at the counter
j-lo:  so i SCOURED the store for them
j-lo:  and then i finally found this fucking MOUNTAIN of jc
j-lo:  like, this pile, taller than i am
sandy:    and she laughed a little, nicely, and asked if i wanted the other one. and i'm all, "I only want Lance!" and then i'm all "Hey, they misspelled his name on the box!"
sandy:    and then, Jodi laughed at me. And i said to her, "Don't forget to get yours!" and then i turned to the counter lady and said, "It's a GIFT." and we both laughed. And i said, "That didn't work at all, did it? Like, I should have said that before critiquing the box."
j-lo:  LOL
sandy:    and then Jodi says, "I am buying this for a GIFT."
sandy:    which she could totally get away with, cause she is. and also, she wasn't buying an N Sync import single, and a mound of blank tapes. She bought the David Gray album and the Gorillaz album.

 

sandy: A. So it's BET something or another, 106 & Park. Countdown thingy.
B. First sighting? In the audience Justin and Joey pretending to be "Brian Phillipe" and "Grant Evans" respectively. Joey's in the same clothes from yesterday, and I guess Justin is, too. Justin is all wannabe boy here, with
his ghetto lite act in effect. Still cute, but, eh. Joey was very adorable.
C. Okay, now the guys are out, and Justin's all complete fan boy in front of the Isley Brothers. It's very cute. And, btw, Justin looks like a fucking giant with the Isley Brothers and the hosts. He's standing next to him and he
is literally a head taller than the IB.
D. I'm feeling all this pressure to be witty but, um. Sorry!
E.  Lance is not wearing the sweater, he is wearing a black t-shirt with some red fire thing on it. Lance looks beyond hot.
F. Joey just did the most amazingly cute and sexy thing with his eyebrows introducing Gone. He looks like a big dumb vegetable in that t-shirt thing, but he just raises his eyebrows and I'm all, MAN. I would have his illegimate
love-child. If Lance wouldn't donate sperm first. Gone playing now, which I should pause, but I just can't!
G. Before the video came on, they asked N Sync to name the MCs they felt should be ...
H. Part of Gone where Justin's freaking Lance! WOOHOO!
I. Yeah, should be in the top 25 of all time MC specials. The band fumbled collectively - LL Cool J, Sugarhill Gang, RUN DMC were the names that followed the obligatory "Uh .." for everyone but Justin. Who actually
answered and mentioned Jay-Z.
J. Gratuitous butt-shot of stupid model girl. Indulging in my fantasy that Justin wrote the song about this one time Lance left him and while he kisses the model, he's trying to think of Lance, or maybe not think of Lance, who's
really just behind the cameras, kinda smirking and not worried at all, but Justin's all torn, trying to seem passionate but thinking if he thinks too much about Lance he might seem too excited ...
K. Interview back. Nice question about Gone playing on R&B stations - Justin and Chris talk about passion and not thinking about labels and stuff. Nearly squicky question that results in Justin confessing that he likes the
"sisters." Calls it a weakness.
L. They go into a clip from the Bahamas show - Pop. Oh, man, I am so psyched. And, yeah, way to not be gay with the flowers on Justin's pants. Before that JC did the whole, we're doing this show, no lasers like the stage show, it's
all raw. Hee. Raw.
L.  Question about safety. Lance gets to answer a question! He's all sexy and he says the stage was wet and that they were slipping around.
M.  Chris talks about Joey's accident with the leg and the pop-ups on the beginning of Pop.
N. Oh, man. I just -- fuck, y'all have to see this. The hosts ask about the most demanding and difficult dance routine. Someone in the audience shouts out the robot which cracks JC's shit up. Justin says Pop - the song - was
really demanding. Then the female host wants them to teach the male host the dance routine. They all start laughing but Justin pops up to show him. And yeah. Um. Okay, so first, they play the wrong song. Gone starts playing and Justin's joking about it. Then while the damn sound people find the right song, Justin shows him the opening. Justin slinks forward and thrusts his hips forward and then, oh, man, Justin drops like he's doing a push-up except his legs are spread and, um, wow. His tight, not non-existant ass in the air (btw, basically pointing in Lance's direction) and, yeah. As Tiffany would say there was much !!!!!! from the audience and from me. The dj guy tries it when they get the right song cued up and Justin watches and I was still
hyperventilating.
O.  okay, sorry, cause I get distracted watching. I will rewind and catch this shit up.
P. Lance is all stretching his legs out and he's wearing nice black boots. Man. He is so sex on a stick here. I mean, Justin's wearing a knit cap, so, for some reason his hotness is not so much diminished as not as shiny and
Lance is, like, wow.
Q. I just noticed that Chris has stupid facial hair. I mean, seriously, horns. In his beard. Like, what the fuck?
R. right. Will rewind and catch up on all of this. This is quality stuff, children, 23 minutes taped so far, tho that includes 4 minutes of Gone.
S. Lance is sitting on the end, and he keeps looking at the camera and looks hot. Watching Lance speak again, and he's wearing the ring, and Tiff - it does too look like the one Justin's wearing in that photo I sent.
T. Okay, in rewatching, they're all laughing when Justin falls to all fours, but Lance leans way forward and laughs a lot as Justin's ass waves in the air. I'm just SAYIN'.
U. Question about respect re: since Celebrity came out. Justin feels like people are paying attention more. Comment about the number one debuting album, Justin's like, I dunno, Lance is all, Yes. We sold the most the first week this year. Then they point out Brit was second, joke about any rivalry, Joey says, "Who's number one?" Jokes about Justin ragging on Brit since he was number one. Justin enthuses about Brit's album. Sucking up to Michael
Jackson.  Chris handles that one and is all enthused. Commercial. Come back to a clip from the concert. With Tim McGraw. Jokes about Tim McGraw being on BET.
V. Talkin' about Prince. Chris had the 45 of Purple Rain. JC's parents wouldn't let him watch Purple Rain. Justin talking about music bein' sexy. Talkin' about Chris's clothing line. Chris says that they used to go to Europe and get all the fashions first and they "were the coolest kids on the block back in the day" and then says something about how people would be "whatchu wearin'?" And, yeah. Chris, they still say that and it's not because
you're fashion forward.
W. Question to Lance and Joey about the movie. Poor Lance looks a little downcast but they soldier on. Lance says it's in theaters now, and Joey says "SELECT theaters, " hee. Joey explains it. Lance says it's a nice movie. Joey
talks about it a lot. Lance is all twitchy, but he's like that the whole time.
X. Host wants them to come back and perform. They're happy about that. They throw out t-shirts to the audience.
Y. Lance is hot.
Z. Stop watching rewind and it's Salt n Pepa doing Whatta Man. Oh, yeah. ;)

 

tiffany: yeah, it's a madhouse.  too much !!!!! all around.  but carson did point out that new york is back or whatever, and that much is true. 

i feel kind of bad for kid rock today.  not many kid rock signs down there.

something y'all might not know.  it's not the st. crispin's day speech, but.  the conde nast building is right across the street/around the corner from MTV's studios.  and they spent like a zillion bucks a few years ago redoing the whole thing.  the CAFETERIA (cause no one who works in times square wants to pay $12 for a burger at TGIFriday's, let me tell you) is so fucking gorgeous it wound up in like half the architecture magazines in the world.  and i read this hysterical piece in the times a while ago quoting various execs talking about weird design problems in the building, like elevators that didn't go to enough floors or something, and then there were these hysterical quotes from one guy about how he likes the office, great view, but then every day about 3:30 -- he points toward the windows -- "there's just this NOISE, this SCREAMING."  aka, !!!!!!!!.

oh, there are some kid rock signs!  now i mostly feel bad for kid rock fans.  hard core kid rock fans and they're stuck with all the crazy 14-year-old girls.  also i'm finding it very funny that kid rock has a tattoo on his arm that says PAUL.  i have this old snip of text that found its way into this now-delayed Samfic where he's cruising a campaign volunteer who's got a boy name on his arm.  i'm just saying, kid rock stole my fic.

and now you get my top 10 commentary.  sorry.  we had pink.  now we have Shakira And Her Shaking Hips.  which i'm truly almost as fond of as Lance And His Pants.  not quite.  but close.

they really should have given kid a body mike.  but you can't see his eyes either, so whatever.

kid rock talking about how his strangest fan encounter was being kidnapped.  which, you know.  fic.  and i missed the punch line, which was about it being maybe someone he knew?

8 is enrique's hurt/comfort classic "hero."  oh, yeah.  now i know that enrique's favorite time of the day is 7 p.m.  what the fuck stupid ass piece of trivia is that?

also, in our ongoing quest to bring slash to the puppy mainstream.  i think we need to devise a screenname to go on mtv.com and see if they'll post our comments during TRL.  like, lamblove.  does MTV know what that is?

ok, they're showing two great things.  one, the outro w/ cam on puppies backstage.  where joey is holding up a paperplate that might be stapled to something like in kindergarten, and it says "I *heart* kid rock."  and they've all changed since this morning.  except of course chris is wearing the hat still.  and i might not have hit recrod soon enough, but whatever.  also i hadn't seen the secret santa ad before, and it's cute, and joey's lookin' for mistletoe and then actually SAYS ho ho ho.  so if there was any question that his name is hoey, it's over now.

fucking didn't unpause in time for the commercial cam.  in which joey is wearing a shirt with the TONKA logo and doing a weird dance.  and with the hat looks less sexy than this morning.   [later he tells carson he just sick of doing things to it and shaved off all his hair, and carson's like, "good for you," and i agree.]

and then they are there, with almost no warning, i thought kid was gonna do another song.  but there is a lot here.  y'all just need to watch this.  lance looks so fucking hot!  he's wearing a great denim jacket.  chris is in a kind of foul mood.  joey is joey is cute, and JC again was totally unintelligible.  carson asked them what was the best thing about the last year, and JC was like, i could name half a dozen, and lance is half in the shot, saying "just one, JC."  lance said the superbowl.  joey said... i forget.  justin got all serious about the album, and chris said, i swear, "the last year SUCKED.  uh, just kidding."

ok, jc is being articulate here, talking about the concert itself!  i think it was practiced, the way that carson threw to him, but he does it well.

carson's making like the whole thing was his idea, but he sets it up by talking about lance and being in some car in LA and "that one time we were talking" and that's making me laugh so i don't care.  the idea being something smaller, smaller shows ("it like when we first started," justin says, "when we couldn't get people to even buy the albums") and lance is trying to say, yeah, they're gonna do that, and now i have the new story in my head and am laughing about intimate venues.  i'm just saying.  these post-band stories are like us making bets about what it's going to look like, and i bet we all are a little right.

also, carson starts talking about gambling at the atlantis (mtv was there all summer) and asks joey and joey says "why are you asking ME?" and they undo all the points they earned this morning on regis by saying he stopped counting how much he lost after a while, and then justin says "if you get a chance, you should really go down there" to the camera, and i hope he gets a tourism spokesman deal out of that or something.  he'll make commercials like ricky martin's Puerto Rico ads that always used to run.

successfully unpaused for the commercial cam this time.  next up, they dish about each other.  ok.  i wonder if carson will have to remind them, as he did kid rock like 12 times, "what you can say on MTV, man, remember we're a PG13 show," and that is like a perfect summary of TRL, right there.

i have to point out, for those playing at home, that right in the front row there are these two adorable very gay guys.

also this is like the newlywed game, see, like in the new story?  i'm getting psychic.

so, who will get married first.  three joeys.  one justin (can't remember who). lance holds his own sign and everyone laughs and carson asks if he's got something he wants to tell them.  lance just waves around his sign and says, "i was hot."  heh.  we knew that.

who has the worst fashion sense.  lance doesn't like his pants!  he says he has bad fashion sense!  three others say joey.  who shakes his booty a little and looks cute.

gay guy mid-britney says hi and screams HI MOMMMMMM.  then justin comes on doing a very passable imitation of !!!!!!! and talks about how hot brit is and how much he wants to date her.  i think it's to make up for how not enthused he was before when they intro'd the video.

and then, appropriately, the next question is who's the biggest mama's boy.  justin wins but the screencap i most want is lance holding up both his and justin's signs right next to each other.  it is fucking adorable.  chris is in a bad mood again, until JC says he has the most embarrassing moment in group history and chris tells the story about how they said they'd all fall down in front of some german press before and then only JC did.  chris cheers up.

lance is so hot!  he keeps flapping his jacket back and forth and waving a hand in front of his face.  get that boy an ice pack!  (and again i say, too hot?  too cold?  hello, new story!)

justin and lance are standing next to each other.  lance says it's the first year they're all going home for the holiday.  justin does this weird thing right now that scares me.  but also joey does an ET impression, and i swear he's just such a dad.  lance is pretty much saying they're gonna get justin so drunk on his birthday that he doesn't remember it.  justin says maybe vegas but if i were him i'd be more excited about lance's plan.  everyone professes to have spent a lot of time thinking about it, except justin.

[second time through:  i think lance says, "i have to wish my friend adam a happy 30th birthday today," but i could be wrong.]

they're playing DMX as a wannabe right now.  ten bucks says jup is pimped out on the intro back.  OK, i will gladly pay up, because LANCE is dancing!  he's dancing!  and justin kind of gives him this LOOK and gets a little jiggy, too.  they talk about the MTV contest, no big deal.

they're all trying very hard not to laugh at O-Town, which is no. 4.  i'm laughing a lot.

i don't know WHAT they said, but Carson comes back saying "My thoughts exactly!"  and JC and Chris are cracking up hard-core.

girlfriend will premiere on MTV new year's eve, btw, though they're gonna sing it on the thing on friday, first time.

[ok, what sucks here is that SOMEONE in the audience yells something and justin stops mid-sentence and says something like "whoa" and carson says, "that was a guy there," and chris says, "she sure is," i think.  and WOW would i like to know what that was all about. couldn't hear on the second {or third} time through what, either.]

talking vaguely about ideas for the video but not really.  justin is way overacting when he says "i just don't know what the video will look like," and it's strange.  JC says "there'll probably be a girl in there somewhere," and Justin rushes to say, yeah, yeah, of course and lance says something you can't hear.  and carson says, "i would imagine and hope so."  which is all pretty funny.

supposedly kid rock is coming back now.  but they have to play gone, and "there's a new number one!!!!!!!!" so who knows.

joey tries to stick his mike up lance's nose, so i take back what i said earlier about body mikes, and on the commercial cam lance is adorable doing the station ID tease and joey is all but licking his ear.  so, there's that.  then lance pretends to swing his mike like a baseball bat at joey's throat.  those kids.

it's dark now in new york.  and for the record.  it was cold but kind of sunny.

john norris just said, of justin, "he's the new king of pop, i'm convinced."  straight-faced.  (and btw, John Norris?  in the new tiff piece!  of course!  I'm just saying!)

also!  heh.  looked up to see that kevin of BSB (down to no. 2) says his favorite book is Interview with the Vampire.  heh. heh.  gay much?  do people still really like them?

meanwhile, we get to see kid and his totaly pimp backstage, some blonde thing rubbing his leg.  that, more than anything else, just made puppies look like the gayest things in the entire world.  seriously.  wanna be a real het rockstar?  kid's got the truth and a tattoo w/ a guy's name.  puppies changed clothes at least twice today and are totally fucking gay.  in a good way, don't get me wrong.

so, yeah, we all know that gone is no. 1.  but i think kid performs again first.   carson says we'll soon "wrap up this mother of a show."

i am frightened because i just realized i haven't really been noticing the !!!!!!!.  does that mean it's gone away?  i somehow doubt it.

and they're no. 1 and they still don't show the whole vid, which i think is lame.  for no. 1 they should show all of it.  plus i reread willa's "need" today where they're bitching about that.  so.  forgetting that this might be trivia i want.  i wonder what time of day is lance's favorite.

funny, trivia says justin used to be scared of the movie gremlins and think they were under his bed.  and before, when they were talking about who had the worst fashion sense, someone, chris i think, said that joey was worst and punctuated by saying, "You have Gremlins shirts!"

waiting through kid's performance just to make sure there's nothing more.  i'll admit this.  he's sexy in an axl rose kind of way, only more buff.  but he's such a fucking rock guy, and i love it.  then again, he's singing, "we're an american band, we'll come to your house and tear your panties down," so.  so.  that's it.

ok, there are two places where i thought something important happened but i missed it, so i'm going back for those two only, and then i'll send this off.

[later]

i forgot some things.

1. when carson asked joey about his eybrow piercing they talked about how justin might get his tongue pierced.  so.  i'm sure everyone likes that idea.

2. after the question about who is the biggest mama's boy, and really justin and lance are tied becuase lance votes for both of them, and justin is all "my mom is really my best friend" and awww and carson asks JC if he wants to add to that "in, you know, a different context."  which, heh.  ok.  not sure at all what that's gonna yield, except it doesn't matter because justin interrupts and talks about how young he was when they started, mom had to tag along, etc.

3. the gay boys in the front row, one in particular, are seriously decked out in their justin-outfits.

4. also justin spends the most time looking in the mirror, he says he's only late in the day because he's sleeping.

5. and the closed captions in so many places say "INAUDIBLE."  so it's not just me.  AND.  when they show brit's vid and justin comes on to say his little thing, when carson comes back he says "where else can you get britney's boyfriend requesting her video" but in the closed-captioning it says "BOYFRIENDS."  i'm just saying.

6. and at least once they're referred to as "T ZINC"

7. everyone says JC is most likely to cry at a chick flick.

8. lance says Chris is the one with the most embarassing moment, but because they all start laughing when JC says "We were in Germany" and they go to the story -- which, here i love chris, because he says, and this is always true, "let me tell it, it's funnier if someone else tells it."

 

tiffany: i should be taking notes already, i realize, when it turns out that gelman has gone bleached blonde and looks, if possible, more gay than before.   he gets more airtime than any other producer i've ever seen.  hee.  just pictured lance as a gelman.

i should also say upfront that i've been a kelly ripa fan since she first showed up on all my children, back when haley was just trevor's punked out, jet black-hair pierced klepto untrustworthy niece and not some glam queen.  i'm just saying.  and actually i think she's funny.  regis i go back and forth on.  but they teased puppies as, like, the most popular band in the world or something.  so we love them already.

kelly actually making me laugh now as she says that she's convinced that geraldo will find osama bin laden.

ag, the screaming girls.  are in the house.

kelly's showing off an nsync watch that has a VIDEO on it.  bye bye bye.  even i am a little frightened.  and also, hmm, i wonder where you can buy those and how much they are.

i'm also fairly sure that the view through the windows behind them is just a photo, which is kind of pissing me off.   this is a very ny-centric show, and right now they're doing this great series of NY-promotion giveaways, but i want to know what the weather was like this morning.  one of my favorite things about TRL is getting to see the actual weather through the windows.

they're playing gone on the outro and now part of the video, including the justin freaking lance in the kitchen shot.  some screaming girls (and boys) in the audience.

ah, my reception is tweaking.  ok, it's fine now.  momentary panic.

they're joking about how this is "nsync's audience, we're not even trying."

joy philbin on friday is making a post-thanksgiving turkey and kelly says, we should call it "post-traumatic turkey," which i'm finding so fucking funny.

now it's the guy from king of queens.  sadly not the girl from king of queens, leah remini.  who i love so much.  you know.  the girl from the penzoil ad?  he's talking about how he wanted to be in a boyband but he doesn't think the clothes would fit.

incidentally, and isn't all of this, i really don't like kelly's little ankle-boots.  the rest of her outfit is OK.  not the boots.  and regis seems to be back to his old wardobe.  where are those sexy millionaire suits?  i swear for a while he was wearing them in the morning, too.

this guy, uh, kevin james.  is a nice normal guy.  this is gonna be joey in 20 years.  somehow now regis is asking him about being a bachelor, and kevin says, "what are you asking me?  i'm not sure if you're asking me or hitting on me."  now he's saying "i'm in denial" but he dates a lot.  but now he's mentioned girls.  this whole thing is totally making me think i didn't make Leno incoherent enough.  or that i might write a series of talk show appearances.  like on the bus, only on the show.  yeah?  let's do them for the webpage.

oooh, clip, clip, please show a clip of your hot onscreen wife.  oooh, clip.  she's wearing a pink tanktop and sweatpants.  THIS is the girl next door.  not some american pie version.  i'm just saying.

okay, c-break, i think pups are next.  i might have to, you know.  melt.  and then come back and make notes.

ok, gone vid clips for intro.  screaming.  i'm going to abbreviate screaming as !!!!!!!.  just so you know.  i can't type it again.

regis calls them "one of the hottest groups around," and they cut to the boys standing in the hallway, looking caught off guard.  i swear to god, it looks like lance (who is at the front of the line) and JC are holding hands.  lance looks fucking hot.

this is about where a) the sound on the mikes gets tweaked, b) i become incapable of doing anything at the same time as watching these boys, c) my roommate comes home and me w/ my door open and forced to confess my shameful obsession.  roommate, who is forty, says, "that's okay, i used to like donnie osmond."  i honestly don't think i feel less stupid now.  now that mark consuelo is there to cook with kelly (it's family recipe week), i'm going back to the tape.  i'll try to get as much as possible the first time through.  i'm moving the coffee away from the keyboard in case i start flailing again.

regis: these guys never rest, which is why i think they're THE hottest group around...

!!!!!!!

they're dancing in the hallway.  they're all in line behind this little blue velvet rope and then there are bodguards.  lance is wearing this oatmeal-ish sweater and jeans that look, they're shiny or sparkled or something.  he kind of waves at the camera and i'm too happy that he's in FRONT to think of much else.  (there is much !!!!!! throughout here, i'm sure you can imagine.)  jc's right behind him.  black and green patterned shirt, something khaki and long over it that is a jacket or a shirt, can't tell, jeans.  lance turns around to tell jc something in the hall as they're walking out, and right now it's like they're the whole band.  then chris, who is wearing one of those peruvian knit hats with a bob on top and long tails and looks like, well, chris.  then joey, who looks good and got his eyebrow pierced -- is that new?  more on that later in a shot where i can see it, here i'm just remembering.  he's got on a camel-colored coat and jeans and there will be screencaps up already, i'm sure, so i'm gonna limit my commentary.  his hair is short.  he looks good.  justin is last.  his hair is that half-inch curl length and i don't like it as much as the shaved but i'll shut up now.  he's wearing khakis and a light blue shirt with an interesting v-cut collar and a dark brown jacket and looks relatively clean-cut in comparison to the others.  justin is waving his hands around over his head as he walks out.  they all kiss, kiss, kiss etc., sit down in two rows of stacked-height stools.

they're all nervous about their assigned seating, chris says, and regis says he wants chris' hat, and there is something really wrong with the sound.  feedback.  fix it!  fix it!!  kelly is trying to explain it's a fashion statement.  they're all kind of nodding and now kelly is talking about how great it is to be nsync and be like, ooh, we want to be in the bahamas to shoot this.  lance says something here in response that i swear is funny and sarcastic but because of the fucking feedback i miss it.  justin practices his faux-puzzled deadpan and lance just laughs at him.  it's cute.  joey says they swam with dolphins and he definitely over his left eyebrow (his left, my right) has a little thin barbell in his eyebrow.  is this new?  kelly asks if the girls on vacation drop dead at the sight of them and joey makes this funny choking noise and pretends (subtly) that he's keeling over.

jc starts talking now about how lucky all the people are who got to see the free show.  which, it sounds as bad coming out of his mouth, or worse.  and also, jess, honey, i'm sorry. but totally incoherent.  he is making no sense here.  and sounding borderline arrogant.  he did however just say something about how they "got a few waves."

regis, king of wisdom says, "well, you know, concerts are very hot right now."  regis asks what michael is really like and they all nod and say he's nice.  justin says "he's a kid at heart" and they all nod some more.  kelly asks if they can just call michael up and joey pretends to talk into an imaginary phone -- he has been spending some time w/ the kid, that much is obvious -- and justin kind of gets caught looking way too infatuated when he says, "i've talked to him a couple of times" and then chris overlaps with "yeah, we TELL people that we do, but we don't really."  justin's looking friendily (is that a word?) annoyed at chris and regis says, "how many years together now for you guys?" and lance says "six."  which i guess might not warrant a direct quote, but this is MY recap, and we know how i feel about lance.  now regis is asking if there's tension, if there are problems with them, and they all play along.  "i can feel it," regis says.  and then this is funny.  "The movie came out, just two of you were involved, and i told lance and i told joey, it's not fair." lance has this huge grin where i've just paused it.  someone here in the audience says something that i can't for the life of me make out and chris waves and says thank you.  it could have been "i love you all."  i'm not sure.

regis says they've made so much money in six years, what's the best thing you ever bought.  and this part, which is still in what i sort of saw before the Interruption, is actually sweet.  i notice this time, when regis throws the question to justin and justin is like, ohhhhh, thinking, lance looks down from behind and says, "which car?"  but justin is starting in on a story about how he bought matching harleys for his parents for christmas last year, and four-wheelers for his brothers, and he looks really really sweet (albeit young) when he's talking about it.  "I kicked santa claus's butt last year," he says.  and he looks about 14 but i love him a lot right now.  chris bought his mom a HOUSE last christmas.  he looks understated and proud.  and also silly, with the hat and these yellow glasses, but whatever.  he bought his mama a house, so i'm letting it go.  and he starts to say, "it's the first house she's ever --" but there's more !!!! and this time i don't mind.  i'm assuming it was "owned."  but it could have been something like "didn't have to clean my shit up in."  joey bought his mom and dad, brother and sister all cars.  they are really doing well here.  they look WAY overpaid but totally not spoiled.  JC mumbles (sorry, he really does) something, i think, about helping out with his mom and dad and their place and that he takes care of his brother and sister.  but it's not clear if he helps out or bought it.  mumbling. even the second time through.

ok, now they ask lance and people keep interrupting!  on screen, i mean.  chris does a passable imitation of lance's voice but i CAN'T make out what he says.  something like, "i got myself a big SOMETHING."  and lance says something about how he got to move his sister and brother in law -- on the second time it sounds like he says into his OLD house, but that can't be right.  i can't tell, though.  now it's all someone talking about how it's clear they're such "a family organization," which makes me wonder who got caught with their pants down this week.

lance gets the explanation about how they're hosting the whole friday night.

more !!!!!!

they outro w/ a clip from the concert where, all together now, LANCE LOOKS HOT.

sigh.  i'm really sad.

ok, all around not bad.  they looked good with the money question, the only great natural part was at the beginning where lance and JC were walking down the hall and joey has his eyebrow pierced.  we'll see if they show up in the same clothes later today over at TRL.

 

lizzie:    big! gay! lance! for christmas, indeed
sandy:    dude, you must enter!
lizzie:   i can't think of what to ask for
lizzie:   that isn't, you know, completely inappropriate
 sandy:    I know! i haven't entered yet for the same reason.
 lizzie:   gaw
 sandy:    i think i'm gonna have to go with lance and not justin, even tho
it makes me sad. but what would lance give me?
 lizzie:   hmm
 sandy:    on the bright side, you can write the same thing every day.
 lizzie:   he seems like a jewelry guy
 sandy:    think of it once, and you're set as you enter every day.
 lizzie:   excellent
 sandy:    but we need to think of something for lance to buy us, sigh.
 lizzie:   yes.  hm.
 lizzie:   how about a movie company? ;)
 sandy:    i want lance to buy me an orange shirt. cause he looks so good
in orange and i'd give it right back to him and make him wear it.
 lizzie:   cut out 4 words and you've got your answer
 sandy:    the make him wear it?
 lizzie:   maybe.
 lizzie:   it just has to be 25 words long
 lizzie:   is what I meant
 sandy:    oh. shit, well, i can certainly trim that and make him wear it.
 lizzie:   :) yay!
 sandy:    sweet. tho, seriously, do i sound psycho?
 sandy:    i'm so scared of the psycho answer cause i really want to write
"I want Justin to give me HOT SEX."
 lizzie:   ha.  i'm sure you won't rank in the top ten psycho
responses, or event he top ten thousand
 lizzie:   you know, I'd settle for justin telling me a joke.  I think
he'd be really entertaining.
 sandy:    or "I want to watch Justin and Lance have HOT SEX."
 lizzie:   yes, send that. ;)
 sandy:    aw, go for that!
 sandy:    the joke part, that's sweet.
 lizzie:   that might get closer to the top ten, with the j/l sex
 lizzie:   :) I might.
 sandy:    yeah. okay. we're doing good!
 lizzie:   yay us!
 lizzie:   yay orlando!
 lizzie:   yay secret santas!
 sandy:    i really really don't want to be on TRL.
 lizzie:   me either
 sandy:    sigh. but i guess the puppies would make it worthwhile.
 lizzie:   was just going to say that.
 sandy:    and four friends! you and tiffany and j-lo and i'd bring my friend
jodi.
 lizzie:   it would be AWESOME
 sandy:    cause no one else i know loves puppies.
 sandy:    dude, funny slash convention and we'd all be like, uh, we met on
the internet.
 lizzie:   I'd bring you three and maybe my friend brett, but only if
he'd do his bye bye bye dance
 sandy:    Just - let's just say the internet. we share common interests.
 lizzie:   and, hee, yeah
 lizzie:   yes.
 lizzie:   exactly.
 lizzie:   like knitting machines or something
 sandy:    except me and jodi met in college.
 lizzie:   (for which there is actually a yahoogroup)
 sandy:    i think we could say the west wing and be safe.
 sandy:    we all really like the west wing. Josh and Sam and uh, yup.
Stopping there.
 lizzie:   heh heh.  certainly.
 sandy:    stopping right there. no, none of us want josh and donna to get
together. nope. not at all.
 sandy:    stopping right there.
 lizzie:   full stop.
 sandy:    dude, mtv would puke at us. we are so not the puppies demo.
 lizzie:   haa!  it'd be beautiful, though.
 sandy:    we could corner lance when the cameras were off and start
talking about gay pride and draw him out ...
 sandy:    and then justin would be like, ssssssssh. stop that, honey.
 sandy:    and then we'd all swoon.
 lizzie:   and then, the cameras would roll
 lizzie:   there'd be a pile of pups and girls
 lizzie:   and much giggling
 lizzie:   so, you know, maybe we'd be more TRL-normal than we think
 sandy:    true. we'd be giggling and laughing.
 lizzie:   and pointing, let's not forget pointing and scheming
 sandy:    justin, hold lance's hand! touch lance! we know you want to!
 sandy:    just our luck, it'd be "hang out with chris day!" and we'd all
be like, oh. chris is funny, sure, but we want Big! Gay! Lance! and one of us
would slip and say it on camera and Jive would have us eliminated.
 lizzie:   ha, in the shooting way
 lizzie:   we'd be gunned down live on MTV
 lizzie:   and JC would write a song
 sandy:    puppies shielding their eyes! "no, not again! when will they
learn?"
 lizzie:   haaa haaa
 lizzie:   it's a whole new kind of "gone"
 sandy:    LOL! yes, that's the real inspiration. I've drove myself insane,
feeling bad that you mentioned how fucking GAY Lance obviously is on TV so we
had you killed.
 sandy:    and now the harmonies! Gone! Baby girl! you're Gone!
 lizzie:   that'll be quite the story for behind the music
 lizzie:   funny it wasn't in the video
 lizzie:   but, you know, that could have been tricky.
 lizzie:   and not in the Chris way
sandy:     Funny, that. Where have all the N Sync fans gone? Jive took them
every one. When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?
 sandy:    Dude, I know we won't win, but I so want to. PUPPIES! and they
would be all nice to us. They would like us. We aren't scary teenies! We'd be
giggly, sure, but we'd want to talk about, you know,
 sandy:    energy deregulation and tax law, too.
 lizzie:   ooo, yes.  you know, I want to talk about william faulkner
with Lance
 lizzie:   just to watch JC's head explode
 sandy:    And justin would be all, finally. Cause it's clear a California
style plan is just disastrous.  Especially for consumers.
 lizzie:   i'd have a hard time talking about energy, though, if the
aviators were involved.
 sandy:    And you and Lance would talk literature and J-Lo would console
JC. Pet his hair.
 lizzie:   perfect!
 sandy:    And random fourth friend can amuse Chris.
 lizzie:   i would guess it'd be more of chris amusing friend
 lizzie:   like, "look, I'm a leprechaun"
 sandy:    yeah, so the random friend can't complain.
 sandy:    Chris is amusing.
 lizzie:   well, duh
 lizzie:   what I really want, I think, is a ride on the bus
 sandy:    yeah, but i don't want to fuck him senseless.
 sandy:    like, say, Justin.
 lizzie:   right.  understood
 lizzie:   or BGL Lance
 lizzie:   maybe he can give us his Pants for christmas
 sandy:    big gay lance! please don't break my big gay lance!
 sandy:    He should give Tiffany his pants.
 lizzie:   yes
 lizzie:   he could sign them
 sandy:    and he should take them off while standing over her in bed.
"See, really, I'm gay, but you, oddly enough, I'm totally turned on."
 lizzie:   haa
 lizzie:   i share that dream
 lizzie:   plus tiffany also gets joey
 sandy:    yeah, i figure justin's bi, so i don't have to add in the "i'm
gay part." and I want some HOEY, too!
 sandy:    I love me some Hoey.
 lizzie:   Hoey for you, too, then
 lizzie:   hoey, I think, lives in my dorm.
 sandy:    really, J-Lo totally lucks out here, cause none of us want any
JC, so she has him all to herself.
 lizzie:   gargh, JC.
 lizzie:   too little
 lizzie:   and breakable
 sandy:    yeah. he's okay, but he comes off so stupid in interviews.
 lizzie:   i don't think it's just an interview thing
 sandy:    i'm sure he's not breakable, dude - they are all in way great
shape. the dancing! the singing!
 sandy:    they have, like, diaphragms of steel.
 lizzie:   the anorexia!
 lizzie:   that sounds like a bad porn remake of steel magnolias
 lizzie:   trying not to think in detail about that
 sandy:    yes. yes it does. but still! even JC could prolly beat our asses
down.
 lizzie:   hell, yeah
 sandy:    but then we would make fun of his pants with the tulips on the
bottom and he'd cry and we'd run away.
 lizzie:   can I make fun of some others' clothing, too?
 lizzie:   I mean, not for the crying effect but jsut because, I'll bet
joey would help.
 sandy:    dude, hoey could win an award for bad clothes. rely on lance.
 lizzie:   i think JC wins that award, hands down, but everyone has
their moments
 sandy:    true, true. still, JC and the tulip pants.
 lizzie:   countered by justin and the flame pants with crocheted
shirt.
 sandy:    i thought the flame pants were Lance!
 lizzie:   oh no, justin.  on the front of some magazine, wasn't it?
 lizzie:   must find pic now
 lizzie:   hm, pausing in search as non-puppy friends mill about
 sandy:    heh
 lizzie:   got it:
 lizzie:  http://jazmer.hispeed.com/allensama/PICS/Justin/just16.jpg
sandy: ah, the ten dollar rent boy picture.
 lizzie:   ha.
 lizzie:   yes
 lizzie:   i'd probably give him more than $10
 sandy:    well, yes. yes indeed.
 sandy:    (portion of unfinished SAndyAU has a rentboy moment.)
 lizzie:   like, for instance, a santa hat.
 lizzie:   :)
 lizzie:   interesting!
 sandy:    so have already written the scene where Justin jokes about being
rentboy.
 lizzie:   oh, justin.
 lizzie:   see, he could tell me that joke. ;)
 sandy:    but it's a sad joke. SandyAU justin knows he's already a whore.
it makes him a little sad.
 lizzie:   aww
 lizzie:   so, okay, different joke, then
 sandy:    yeah, will finish that puppy someday!
 lizzie:   I can only hope.
 lizzie:   how goes the puppyfic of the moment?
 sandy:    good! good! we finished breaking up the band and had the public
sex moment  and now lance dumps justin.
 sandy:    tiffany does that.
 lizzie:   oh man
 lizzie:   :(
 lizzie:   but, yes, she said something about public sex
 sandy:    dude, we're all about the happy endings.
 lizzie:   me too.  i mean, otherwise, it'd have to be a darker animal.
 like, gorilla fic or something.
 sandy:    lol.
 lizzie:   this is, for some reason, one of my favorite lance pics
 lizzie:   http://jazmer.hispeed.com/allensama/PICS/Lance/lance10.jpg
sandy:
my favorite is orange shirt. :)
 sandy:    or the one with justin. ;)
 lizzie:   oh yes.  there are many, many faves
 sandy:    yes indeed.
 lizzie:   orange shirt high on the list
 lizzie:   I think justin photographs well the most consistently.
 sandy:    word. because he's preternaturally beautiful. fucker.
 lizzie:   no kidding
 lizzie:   *sigh*
 sandy:    sigh.
 lizzie:   i read the chronology and I see people magazine agrees
 sandy:    agrees that justin is hot as shit?
 lizzie:   yep
 sandy:    cause he is.
 lizzie:   or even the most beautiful youngster in the world?
 sandy:    he is indeed.
 sandy:    fucker.
 lizzie:   growl
 sandy:    okay, feeling pervy.
 sandy:    justin is 9 years younger than me.
 lizzie:   eh, but
 lizzie:   he's like 35 in life experience
 lizzie:   well, he's like 305 in experience
 sandy:    that's one way to look at it. but as long as you don't use to
justify timbertrick.
 lizzie:   oh no.  noooooo noo
 lizzie:   that would be something to feel perby about
 lizzie:   ha! pervy
 sandy:    lol. pervy! pervy!
 lizzie:   ha ha ha
 sandy:    timbertrick squicks me.
 lizzie:   yeah.
 lizzie:   just... ick
 lizzie:   i do think chris is a leprechaun
 sandy:    a cute leprechaun. but not one who should be with justin. or
lance.
 lizzie:   JC?
 sandy:    sure. or hoey. but not justin or lance.
 lizzie:   well, i think I'm pretty set in my ways with them
 sandy:    good. do not be seduced!
 lizzie:   no danger
 sandy:    good. be wary!
 lizzie:   i am

 

no. 1, 11.13.01: michael jackson tribute

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