Single and Searching

Single & Searching? Or Single & Staying Single?

By David Wood

Before I became a Christian I had found many instances where a woman was much more interested in me if I told them I was �taken�. Simply put, if a woman showed interest in me and I told them I was seeing someone, many times the woman would show even more interest in me. Sadly it got even worse if I would jokingly tell them I was married. Many women would show the most interest in me if they perceived me as a married man. Was it because they saw me as being �safe� to be with? Was it due to just living in a secular world? Or was it because the woman saw me as a challenge?

Recently I decided to perform a little experiment using the internet only. Although there was nothing �scientific� about this little test, my goal was to find out if as a single Christian male, would I get more responses from women if I told them I was searching for a mate, or if I told them I was not searching for a mate? It was time to find out.

I started by making two simple websites. Each site had my picture as well as information on me such as my background, articles I write, age, weight, etc. On both websites I used an identical picture, identical colors, background, text size, etc. In every area both websites were identical except on one site I stated that I was single and staying single and on the other website I stated I was single and searching. On the site where I made it clear I was searching for a mate, I included information on the type of woman I would like to meet and I used a different contact e-mail address so I could know from which site I was being e-mailed. Furthermore, on both websites I made it very clear that I was a Christian male and was living my life as a Christian. In other words, I made it abundantly clear that when I used the word �Christian�, I meant it.

I published both websites on the internet on the same day and decided I would keep both sites public until each site had 450 �hits�. I then started joining different Christian �groups� and "clubs" and posted a link to one of my websites. In one group I would post the link to my site where I said I was single and searching, in another group I would post the link to the site where I stated I was single and staying single. I also submitted both sites to various search engines, both secular and Christian, and used search engines where I wouldn�t have to wait weeks for the listing to appear.

As I said earlier, there was nothing scientific about this little experiment. There was no way for me to know how many times the same person might have viewed the website, so with each �hit� it�s possible that one person could have viewed the page more than once. Even though each site did reach 450 hits, keep in mind this doesn�t necessarily mean that 450 separate individuals viewed the page. Anyway, when each site reached 450 hits, I deleted both websites and cancelled my memberships with the clubs and groups I had joined.

I must say that I had the opportunity to come across some very nice people and also to be involved in some great conversations. But none of these people were aware of the real reason I had posted those sites. I was the only person alive that knew the motives for making these websites. And what were the results of my little experiment?

When I totaled the e-mail responses from both sites, I received more responses from the website where I had said I was single and staying single. Every woman that wrote from both sites stated they were a Christian, and there were no e-mails from anyone asking me why I had two websites. This leads me to believe that with the women that did respond, none of them were aware that there was two websites.

I can already hear some of you now asking, �But David, what�s the point? You just wasted your time!� Well, I suppose the point is this: I received more responses, more interest, and more attention from Christian women by saying that I was single and staying single. I will also say that the number of responses I got from the single and staying single site far outweighed the number of responses I got from the website where I stated I was single and searching.

Once again I will state that the obvious thing about this is that there was nothing scientific about it. But it does leave me with a few questions. Did I get more responses from the single and staying single site because I seemed more of a challenge to some women? Did I get more responses because I didn't come across as "desperate"? Does a single Christian male have a better chance of gaining the attention of a single Christian female if the guy comes across as if he is off-limits? Just some thoughts.