Here is the First of the new mad stuff that I've come up with. I hope you all like it.

Btw it was made up while talking to my mate maria, so thats why you might find bits of conversation inbetween bits of story

Btw this is actually full of shite, any Canadians who take offence at this...can ...well..er..you're jus going to have to live with it I suppose hehehehehe

 "Mwhahhahahahahha" says the man in the black trenchcoat...

....Who is that guy?

THE PRELUDE

Me:
say something to start me off

Me:
nething at all

Me:
and ill make a story of it

Maria says:
lol

Maria says:
I dont know

Me:
nething at all, come on

Me:
lol

Maria says:
em

Maria says:
a night out

Maria says:
I duno

Me:
u have an imagination

Me:
ok

AND THE RAMBLE BEGINS!!!!!

One night out, I found myself in a tree

this was rather strange as I had realised I was not clothed, and I was arse-froze. There were chinchillas eating me alive so
I had to poke them all to death, then I realised it was not a tree at all, it was almost and I was in the middle of London at Trafalgar square with the people from big brother watching me going, who is this man

shall we A) kill him

B) castrate him with a spooon

C) get him more beer

or D) send him to the land of animaniacs

send in ur votes NOW!

After a large period of time I, Bob Millianocopus was hanging from the tree or lamppost as I later found out, and was actually a bit thirsty.
It began to rain, so I began to try and drink rain water. Then I was electricuted, "Poor Bob" some people said. "Mwhahahahahahahaha" said the fella
in the black trenchcoat.

DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?
 

An old man of 64 walked over and kicked me to see if I was dead
I rolled over head-butted the old man and watched him writh in pain
I laughed and poked him to death
"Stupid enlarged chinchillas" I said

Just then a swat team arrived and kicked the crap outta me
I was not happy at all

Maria says:
lol

I was told by big brother I had been voted to go to the land of animaniacs

I was meant to be airtransported there

while on route he was told by a strange bald black man, to take a pill
 

Maria says:
hm..

being the smart man that I am, I headbutted the black man
 

Maria says:
pill? shouldn't take un known pills

the black man later turned out to be a chemist who was giving him a painkiller

I was called a dumbass strapped to a chair and beaten

they laughed at me

then I cried

then they laughed even more

Suddenly

a huge elephant from the sky burst into the plane

and killed the bald black man
and all of his crew

"Hey there mr. huge elephant, how the hell are you?" I said
"Dead on mucker" he replied, and chucked petrol bombs out of the plane.

"Where are we?" I asked
"Oh, were right over Canada at the moment, damn french bastards..." he said as he continued to chuck petrol bombs and large bits of machinery out the back of the plane. He then worked himself up into a mad frenzy and chucked a few horses
and sheep out and then he looked at me menacingly.

"eeep" I uttered before diving for the front of the plane. I grabbed the controls and directed the plane so the ass-end of the plane was pointing towards the ground.
"GET THE FECK OUTTA THE DAMN PLANE U BIG COMMIENAZI OF A ELEPHANT SUICIDE BOMBER!" I SCREAMED as he clung to a wall for dear
life.
I remembered that the damn elephant could fly and began to chuck large weights at him to try and knock him out,
I found a sheep and lobbed it at him but he ducked and it went straight for Canada.
"Oh well..." said the elephant chuckling to himself "You missed me u inbred fool, u chuck like a bi-" SMACK! I had grabbed a
concrete slab with dynamite taped round it, whatever cud this be used for I was thinking to myself while turning the damn
thing to on.
THe elephant blew into bits all over canada, they were picking up bits of tusk in frenchland numeral deux for years after
the explosive expert flying elephant was killed.
 

I, Bob Millianocopus was a happy free man, except he didnt know how to fly a plane properly that's how the plane ended up trying to
reach Mars. He donated the plane to the Canadian military, they were v.happy who liked the plane and nicknamed it aeroplane
numeral une. We laughed and drank french beer and mountain dew, and swapped funny hats that those canadian mounty's wear.
They then cried as I had to go. I laughed as I walked away with the remote to 4000 tonnes of mountain dew in my truck...
that I had bought. All Canadians have trucks. Its a french thing.
 

I ended up sinking Canada by placing these tonnes of Mountain Dew onto the ocean where its obviously heavier than anywhere
else...and it sank.
"Damn...poor Canadians."
"Mwhahhahahahahahah" said the man in the black tenchcoat

"Damn who is that guy?"I said

Nobody answered.

"...wankbuckets, ..wait a second... if I'm in Canada...and Canada is sinking...that means im going to be knee deep in shark shit soon..Damn"