If you're reading this page right now, you either:
a) Have too much time on your hands
b) are a potential amateurstalker in search for more of your kind
c) Was told about this site from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend......
If you fall into one (1) or more of these categories, please feel free to read on.
AmateurStalkers.com is an initiative that intends to bring the global stalking community together.
With over-friendly customer service and a sure-fired way of getting on your nerves, AmateurStalkers.com
provides you with a place where one can be free to restrict someone else's personal space to their heart's content.
With AmateurStalkers.com, you get to know your fellow stalkers, including:
what their full name is,
what age they are,
where they were born,
where they were conceived,
how they were conceived,
their family tree,
why they were born,
where they live,
where they previously lived,
what their favourite movie is,
what hobbies they do,
where they go for recreational time,
what their dreams and aspirations are,
what their social security number is
a comprehensive list of past, present and possibly future boyfriends/girlfriends,
And the list goes on!
All without the aid of some high-tech lie-detector!
[ N.B. However, if you would prefer to use such devices or old school stake outs 101, then go right ahead! ]
By being the first 100 people to join AmateurStalkers.com, you get these benefits as well a FREE pair of binoculars to assist you in your day-to-day walks.
If binoculars aren't your thing (a.k.a. require effort while moving around town) then you can try our supply of telescopes!!! [ See right hand side for some of our samples. ]
Binoculars come in:
tinted
waterproof
jumbo-sized
sleek and skinny
army print
Telescopes come in:
antique mode
portable robot-style
red or blue stargazer mode
One of the aims of AmateurStalkers.com is to build up community clusters that have AmateurStalker families of their own, with the family motto of:
'the family that stalks together stays together'
By NOT joining us, you have subjected yourself to our over-bearing membership theme of:
"If YOU don't join us, we'll stalk YOU till you do".
Once people join AmateurStalkers.com, there will be various 'how to' videos, such as
bus stalking,
how to enter a party your prey is going to without their noticing, and oh yeah,
yours truly teaching inanimate objects such as apples, oranges, yo-yo's, eggs, etc the riff to "Come As You Are" just for the sake of it.
If you have any questions, requests, feedback or suggestions, you can contact me at [email protected]
Happy New Year!! 2006 is upon us!
Disclaimer:
This site does not endorse or partake in stalking and is merely a mockery of amateur stalkers that have a fascination with one or more people that goes beyond the bounds of normality but are most likely not the real-has-the-potential-to-traumatise-me-for-life kind of stalker.
AmateurStalkers.com DOES NOT exist (and if it does, then I'm slightly freaked out) and there are no actual free binoculars or telescopes involved. This whole website is merely A JOKE, I repeat, A JOKE.
��The Downtown Mockery - December 2005�- All�Rights�Reserved
