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| 06/12/01: Country vs. R&B Okay, so a few months ago, back when Vancouver still had buses, I was sitting on one of the sideseats on my way to school, when I overheard a particularly vocal duo of late-teenage girls ranting and raving over the virtues of R&B music. Now, generally, I try extra special hard to not pay attention to even the loudest of mouths on the bus, but something they said particularly caught my attention. Now, I appreciate, more than anyone, the fact that different people have different tastes, but one of the girls was so adamant about how R&B was the superior art form, that she was so bold as to claim that "everyone has at least ONE R&B song that they like. Even if they don't like R&B, there's always at least one that they'll listen to." Well, whaddaya know? In a world where everyone apparently has at least one R&B song that they like, they would just happen to bring up this well-proven fact while sitting RIGHT NEXT TO a guy who absolutely detests R&B music with an undying passion, and cannot, for the life of me, name an R&B song that I've ever actually enjoyed listening to. Hell, I'd listen to ABBA before I listen to R&B. I'd listen to Britney Spears before I listen to R&B. But it didn't end there. No, see, despite the fact that I am apparently a belch in the continuum of time, space and matter since I do not, in fact, like any R&B song, they go on to their next argument that country music, on the other hand, is entirely crap, and how nobody likes it. So, let's see where we are at the moment - I, as a person who hates R&B and enjoys country music, therefore do not belong to the human race, since the definitive, quintessential characteristic of all humans is an undying hatred for country music and at least one requisite R&B song of favour. Okay, let's put this into perspective. These are some lyrics from an R&B song called "No Scrubs" by TLC. An R&B song which is not only widely popular, but is also so good as far as R&B goes, that it would be nominated for awards in outstanding achievement in R&B. Meaning that as far as R&B goes, this is actually a pretty good song. If you don't have a car and you walking Oh yes son, I'm talking to you If you live at home with your mama Oh yes son I'm talking to you If you have a shorty and you don't show love Oh yes son I'm talking to you You wanna get with me with no money Oh no I don't want no Nooooooooooooo Scruuuuuuuuub Nooooooooooooo Scruuuuuuuuub Nooooooooooooo Scruuuuuuuuub Okay, that's about enough of that! Now, I take it that none of the girls singing this song want to get laid any time soon. After all, if I did have a nice car, my own place, a well endowed groin and money in the bank, why in the world would I want such a bitch to be my girlfriend? I would think that I'd deserve a bit better than that! And of course, I currently don't deserve any love whatsoever, since I don't own a car, I enjoy walking, I live at home, my genetic traits are unimpressive, and, since I attend university, I am likely to be broke, if not in debt, and any money I do have will get blown on various expense bills I have. If I didn't find this song so laughable, and had actually taken it even half seriously, I would become incredibly depressed because my preferred musical demographic has deemed me to be a social reject. Now, for a lyrical sample from one of my favourite country songs: I turn 21 in prison doing life without parole No one could steer me right but mama tried Mama tried Mama tired to raise me better But her pleading I denied That leaves only me to blame cuz mama tried Wow, now that's a song that can cheer me up! Honestly! I mean, no matter how much I think my life sucks, I can always rest assured that at least I'm not going to spend the rest of my life doing hard time. I mean, as much as my friend Morgan thinks I'm planning to kill her with a rusty butterknife (and I swear, I have no idea where she got that idea from), I would never be able to bring myself to harm anyone unless I can get away with it. I mean, hey, I'm 21. Almost 22. This guy in the song is my age, and he's doing life in prison. I mean, as much as I hate my job, I gotta admit that it's not as bad as being a beefy man's bitch behind iron bars. And the most admirable part of it all? The fact that the guy blames himself. He doesn't go blaming society. He doesn't go blaming the things that should have been but could not be. He doesn't even really care all that much about being in prison, that brave soul. He feels bad because he hurt his dear old mother's feelings, and realizes that she spent her life trying to make sure he didn't end up there, and he so cruelly and coldheartedly turned his back on her and lived the life of a country western rebel. He knows that his problems are attributable to himself, and that his unhappiness stems from the fact that he brought it on himself, and not because somebody has a small penis and no car. Now, don't get me wrong in all this - I'm not saying that people don't have a right to like R&B. They have just as much right to like R&B, crap though it may be, as I do to enjoy my heavy metal, rock n roll, and country music selections. But seriously, empathize with me a second - if you were me, which of the above songs would you rather listen to? Which one presents me with a better moral message? Thanks to Merle Haggard, every time I don't want to go to school or work, I can always just think back to his song "Mama Tried" and I can smile and reign triumphant over my petty, trivial concerns and realize how much worse things could possibly be: I could accidentally drop the soap in front of a guy named Bubba. Back to home |