1/15/04
To say that the last few years have been difficult would be an understatement; But then, one early, very cool October morning, my life changed forever and would never be the same.
On Sunday, October 6, 2003 my mother died.
And now, there can only be silence for me; And will it never feel as though the healing has begun? Now, I'm not able to phone her anymore just to talk in the deep evening hours when we were both in our solitude. I think her's were a bit more quiet than mine; Her arm would fall asleep holding the phone as we spoke. It became a little joke between us. A bittersweet memory now...I do not see an end to my grieving her absence.
Shortly after mom died, (not even two months), My Dad suffered an acute appendicites attack, it burst. He continued to claim it was only indigestion. I'm sure that it was some exterme and painful indigestion though - and By the time I had convinced him to let me drive him the hospital emergency room, he was extremely ill. They had to rush him into emergency surgery. Thankfully, he survived, but it was a long road to recovery, and a go around of pneumonia topped everything off with a return stay at the hospital. It took about 6 months for him to completely recover & with a lot of support systems and watchful awareness.
My mother and father were high school sweethearts & had been together for more than 50 years. December 20th would have been their 50th anniversary. Together they had seen the aftermath of the Depression, and as my father served in the Korean War, my Mother waited for him here at home, and worked at Motorola as the days passed and must have seemed long. And Now, I'm sure that the very best day of my parent's lives was the day they wed; And the worst day of my father's life, was the day his bride died ... and I am sure that looking into his future without her must seem so utterly empty. I thank God that he has survived and is still with us. To lose one parent is heartbreaking. To lose both within a year, I could not begin to imagine how I could ever gotten through it.
During this time, my two youngest children left home to discover adventure with their friends. My youngest daugher, has left her daughter here with me to raise ... this beautiful child - hope in the eyes of a baby.
My oldest daughter married her fiance of 2 years on December 14, 2003 - The first of my three children to wed. She had her first baby girl in July ... It was such a difficult time because her baby was over ten pounds; But my children are pretty couragous souls - and she was strong & determined throughout the entire event. Now, they are a glowing, healthy famiy, and I'm so very proud of her!
My youngest son, is as wild as he has always been. He wishes to travel the country but as young as he is, we all worry when we do not hear from him.
In September, I married my long time fiance of more than ten years. It was a bittersweet day and when I turn the pages of our wedding album, it's so noticeable to me that my mom is not there. I can see the sorrow in my dad's eyes, but there was happiness too.
In September, My Great Grandmother suffered a severe kidney infection and landed in the ER for a time and then returned within a week. She since has been in 3 nursing homes and soon will be returning home - which is where she longs to be. She had her 99th Birthday in November - a quite momentous event to say the least. She is a trooper!
So you see, my friends; It has been an extremely challenging and heartrending year. So many great things have occurred along the way, but these are the most monumental which have so completely changed my life and my life experience.
My perspective has been changed forever. There is not a single day that goes by which I do not remember Mom, and sometimes I forget for a moment that she is gone; It happens unexpectedly as I reach for the phone, or think about the Mother's Day card or Birthday Card I'll shop for her. Her birthday is coming up in February.
It will be another milestone which will remind me that things will never be the same again.
Well, that is all for now. Take care, and stay well until next time I write.
Until Then, Cinthea
Well, how's the New Year been for everyone so far? hehe...Just kidding folks ...
By The way - Hi Val! It was SO great to hear your voice -- talking with you is such Inspiration!
I promise I'll jump on a plane to visit soon!
IT's Christmas Already?
PuhLeezze! This year just sped by me and now it's going to be 2001 :-(
Well, anyway ... Merry Christmas EveryBody! What's new for me is that I've set up a little shop for artists and creatives & have been doing fairly well at it. So now when I'm not up on stage being creative, I'm still being creative ... <*wink*> Now that's not the only reason time has been just zinging by either.
I've been planning an herb garden and I've been writing. Both are going fairly well.
I've been reading a lot lately & have chosen to re-read one of my favorite books by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, One Hundered Years of Solitude ... But there are two different editions ... Try This One Hundred Years Of Solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
It also come in a cassette form A Study Guide to Gabriel Garcia Marquez'...
and Cliffs Notes -- but skip the Cliffs if you haven't read it yet ... The full read is so beautiful you'll not want to miss it.
Seem to recall someone mentioned to me that Antonio Banderas was maybe involved in the making of a film of this? I don't know how accurate that piece of info may be though.
Well Blessed Christmas to Everyone & see you after the *New Year*
OH Yeah ... Happy New Year!
11/15/00 Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
Yeah, it's been a little hectic, but please be sure not to forget those in need ~ And keepy your loved ones close :-)
TADA -- I'm Back!
Thank God the tooth is doing better and my health is on the up & up!
Positive changes to the site are coming soon. Within the next couple days you'll see the site become a bit more streamlined.
It may not be noticeable except you'll be clicking less to get to where you want to go. Also, coming are some cool actors tools like books, sheet music and etcetra!
Well wishes to good friend Jon, who is moving to Los Angeles this month. Break a leg, Hon and stay in touch.
I'm going to miss you -- I'm sure we all will -- A little bit Sad & to see ya go ... BUT I AM HAPPY for you!!!
The force of positive energy be with you all the way!
Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful emails, get well wishes and additional input! I enjoy hearing from everyone and your suggestions are always helpful - not to mention the source of bright enlightenments *BG*
Laughter & Lightness to all~
Cindy
News & Updates are on the way -
In the MeanTime, Heres a Quick rundown on my existance on earth ... (Uh please -- I'm only kidding...)
About six weeks ago I came down with what I minimized as a "little" cold. It was nothing but little ... It developed into a major war and before the battle was over, it decided to settle within my teeth. In stubborness, I refused to see a dentist - believing that it wasn't as bad as it seemed. It didn't happen that way.
Now this has been going on for what seems like forever & a day with no end in sight. The one good thing out of all of this were the pretty pain pills that didn't last long enough...
That's news for now! More humble excitement to come soon -- I promise :)
Until then,
Hang in there~
Cindy
Well, here I am! I've been known in the past for routine with site updates; However, I must admit it's been a long abscence. My apologies to everyone! I'm catching up with link requests and formating. Additionally, I'm planning to have more monologues available in the future. Special requests are accepted by Email - I'll do my best to fill them! Thanks!
