Toronto�s Archdiocese to sponsor WrestleMania 8
Toronto � Not to be outdone by the altogether silly United Church and its Progressive Muslim buddies, the Archdiocese of Toronto figures to sponsor the WWF�s WrestleMania 8 at Skydome this March.
�What the hell!� exclaimed Suzanne Scorsone, Director of Communication for the archdiocese, �We have plenty of parishioners that could star in that event so why not sponsor the son-of-a-bitch?�
Scorsone was referring to an unprecedented move caused by battling members of a west end church. The archdiocese has had to ban a group of them from attending church until further notice or, �Until Hell freezes over,� Scorsone interjected.
Rival factions at the recently named Sacred Heart of Jesus have been battling it out since last July. The church, formerly named St. Sosa Lee, was renamed in hopes that the members would forget their grievances and move on to real praying and tithe payments.
�The problems stem from the replacement of a priest that the miserable ones liked,� Scorsone suggested. �Lord only knows why the name change didn�t work!�
That prompted the archdiocese to approach the WWF.
Vince MacMahon, WWF chief explained, "We said they could sponsor the event if they gave our defrocked Diva, Chyna, a job. They decided one frock was as good as another and offered her a job as a nun."
Chyna was unavailable for comment due to being occupied full time promoting herself as a legitimate actress. |
