 |
 |
 |
| Christ to sue Subway Armonk, NY � People have been asking for months now, �What would Jesus do?� and it seems that we are about to find. The Lord has announced at a burning bush nearest the original restaurant that He intends to sue Subway Restaurants for copyright infringement. �What would Jared do is an obvious if not criminal rip-off of My slogan,� The burning bush bellowed, �They can�t and won�t get away with it!� When questioned about His intentions the bush muttered, �Just ask the good people at Wendy�s.� The Wendy�s spokesman was unwilling to discuss the matter so the bush was confronted again. �They had been planning a new family meal deal called Loaves and Fishes and were unwilling to back off from that name until I arranged for Dave to take an early �retirement�. All of a sudden, the Loaves and Fishes plan was scrapped.� Why the lawsuit then? �Well, I looked at Jared and realized he is such an unfortunate soul and if that young, healthy character up and died mysteriously then people might catch on to My methods. Besides when he screams like a little girl in the Night Jump episode of WWJD, I laugh Myself silly.� An obvious question is, �Why the sudden change in attitude? Dare we say unchristian?� �I was working the Pearly Gates the other day,� He admitted. �While there, some old Italian fellow mistook me for Pinocchio and I decided right then and there to start standing up for My own image.� When informed that Subway�s legal team of Slippa, Dick, Tooham & Howe has determined that Christ cannot testify in court on a technicality, Christ grumbled, �That�s rubbish! My legal advisors at Kenny, Dickham & Howe say that I just have to affirm my testimony. And besides, who isn�t going to believe me?� No one had the heart to tell the Almighty that the judicial district in which He has launched the suit is entirely Jewish. |
| COPYRIGHT WASTE OF INC. 2004 |
| Wendy's fishy menu item |
| Their WWJD a ripoff? |
| TV's biggest geek |
 |
 |
 |