dougzone

Compulsive shoppers can take pill for quick relief

Palo Alto, CA � Dr. L. Koran of the Stanford School of Medicine is conducting clinical trials of a drug to control the compulsive urge to shop.  For Dr. Koran, rampant consumerism is an emerging sickness that requires immediate attention.

�It encourages us to define ourselves by our possessions rather than our relationships.  Besides, my wife has made purchases that are putting me in the poorhouse,� Dr. Koran moaned.  �Something has to be done about this and if I can do it with a government grant, then it is even better.�

A "patch" version of the shopping drug will resemble credit cards so that no one will be aware of the shopper's affliction.

In other medicinal news, a doctor has developed a pill that will cure just about anything!

�Zis pill is so powerful zat it can cure anyzing that ails you,� Dr. Vinny Boombatz proclaimed recently.  �Zair are little buttons zat you push to select zee illness zat you vish to eliminate.�

It is professed that the new pill will even cure drug addiction but as with any medication, there are side effects, in fact, one major side effect.

�Yes, ze prototype is quite large.  It is currently ze size of a 5-pin-bowling ball and ze daily dosage would likely kill a small horse.�

Those opposed to further testing of Dr. Boombatz� new drug have nicknamed it the Suicide pill.

Your friends will never know with these credit card look-a-likes

Dr. Boombatz seen with daily doage

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