Secret plan unveiled by Saddam
Tikrit, Iraq � After his removal from a small hole in this town in Iraq, Saddam Hussein has unveiled his plan for ultimate escape. He only needed a couple more weeks of beard growing and he likely would have escaped forever.
Speaking through his interpreter, because dougzone can�t afford its own, Saddam spoke openly about his scheme.
�Shit, god damn it!� he offered immediately after his capture, �I had it made in the shade,� a common Iraqi saying.
�Thirteen more days of this beard and I was ensured complete freedom from Zelda.�
Apparently, Zelda was the name to which he had become accustomed of calling his �spider hole�.
�I think it was the damn, how you say, �Dead Wings� sweater that screwed me up. I figured it was close enough to the real thing. I found it early on in my Zelda Days, probably left by some American, no-good asshole but, then again, aren�t all Red Wing fans no-good assholes?�
Saddam, it seems, had planned to disguise himself as Santa, couldn�t find a proper suit, settled on the Red Wing sweater and was going to call himself, Saddam Claus and hoped that no one would know the difference in Iraq.
In a very closely related story, dougzone has received a deleted excerpt of George W. Bush�s speech made earlier this afternoon. In it, he clearly states that he wants all department store Santa�s to report immediately to their local Homeland Security office for interrogation under suspicion that they are most likely terrorists. |
