Brampton assembly plant to offer �Rewards� parking
Brampton � DaimlerChrysler�s Brampton Assembly Plant has served notice that it is going to begin initiating a �Rewards� parking policy commencing October 30, 2006. Despite what the title suggests, employees will not be able to collect points for travel and other junk, but simply have preferred parking spots close to entrances if they drive DaimlerChrysler vehicles.
�The intent of this policy is to provide additional incentive for employees to purchase products that they build, and, more importantly, support our livelihood,� says a letter employees received this week. The talking letter went on to say, �Signage will be posted to indicate that 60% of every lot will be reserved for drivers of DaimlerChrysler Group products. This policy will be supported by the Brampton By-Law Enforcement Office.�
It is anticipated that other businesses will be jumping on the reserved-parking bandwagon very shortly.
Tim Horton�s coffee shops have been in discussion, over crullers and coffee, to implement reserved parking for their finest customers, the local constabulary.
Meanwhile, The Beer Store and the LCBO are prepared to offer alcoholics randomly arranged stalls best suited for putting their careening vehicles to rest between drinks.
Over at Wal-Mart (renowned to have set automatic door openers to a 150 kg minimum) the extra wide lanes, usually saved for the handicapped, will be reassigned to the lard-assed instead. In this case, Wal-Mart also anticipates that it will be able to save �heavily� on parking lot resurfacing by encouraging the pavement-crackers to congregate in a closer proximity to the storefront.
There seems to be no limit on the number of incentives available to the struggling merchants. Caveat Venditor now means Choose your vehicle, habits, and body type carefully. |
