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| Ossuary of James arrives in Toronto Toronto - Curators at the Royal Ontario Museum were shocked yesterday when they uncrated a major archaeological relic and discovered that a series of cracks had apparently developed in shipping. The ROM was to be the first museum in the world to display a recently discovered 2,000-year-old ossuary said to have contained the bones of James, brother of Jesus. Which begs the question, �Who knew that Jesus had a brother?� �Yah, I get that all the time,� James said when contacted at his apartment in God�s Green Acres, a retirement complex on the outskirts of The Right Hand of God, Heaven. �Hardly anyone realizes that I had two other brothers and three sisters, too.� �Mom, a.k.a. Mary, liked to keep that news under wraps since she thought it would ruin her status as a virgin if word got out.� James continued and revealed some of his childhood memories. �Jesus was my older brother and like all older brothers he could deliver one hell, oops, of a noogie. That thing would bring tears to your eyes!� Life as a younger brother of The Lord was not always the sweetest. �Just imagine trying to co-exist with someone who thought he was better than anyone else. It was hell on Earth, honestly.� �Bread, wine, fishes, water-walking, retrieving people from death, all caused us siblings grief. �Oh, you should see what Jesus did today,� Mom was heard to say more than once. It really was a pain in the ass!� The rumour about the naming of James� older brother is true apparently. �One day Dad was working on some new kitchen cupboards, Mom was always after him to upgrade around the house, and, sure enough, he hit his thumb with the hammer. Mom was quite taken with what he uttered and the rest is history.� |
| COPYRIGHT WASTE OF INC. 2002 |
| Old bone box would make a neat foot stool |
| James' photo from his hippy stage |
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