Judas says he�s not a bad guy
Hell (not Michigan) - Judas Iscariot has borrowed a page from the Nuremburg Trial, and declared that he was �only following orders� when he ratted out Jesus for 30 pieces of silver.
�I�m not shitting you about this,� Judas said, �He told me to do it! I said He was crazy, but who was I to argue with Him. He burned a bush in my yard once, and it cost me tonne to get it replaced.�
Jesus, speaking from His seat on or about the Right Hand section of Heaven, is royally pissed off.
�I never told Judas anything of the kind. Do you think I�m crazy? Those nails hurt, and I can�t walk on water any because that bastard snitched to the Romans. The babes really dug that routine, too, but not any more.�
�Oh, those nails hurt, did they Jesus?� Judas rebutted, �He didn�t have to spend all of eternity in Hell, now, did He?�
Continuing the schoolyard-pissing contest, Jesus added, �Iscariot is simply drawing attention to himself because My big time of year is approaching.�
�All you have to do is look up betrayal in a thesaurus, and you�ll find my name there,� Judas complained. �Son of God, my ass! He�s a son-of-a-bitch!�
God, the alleged choreographer for this bitchfest, was unavailable for comment. According to His receptionist, �He�s out to lunch.� |
