dougzone

Disgruntled horse speaks out

Sydney, Australia � Canadian Equestrian competitor, Eric Lamaze, was forbidden to compete in the 2000 Olympics because of a positive drug test and his ride, Whinny, who wishes to remain anonymous,  is really pissed off.

The following is a an interview that was held with Whinny through an interpreter, Mr. Ed, at the Games� site in Sydney.

dougzone: (albeit poorly worded) Whinny, why the long face?

Whinny: Welllllllllllll, you try cramming your show-jumping ass into a trailer for the 2-day-long flight to Sydney only to find out that your rider failed a drug test and you don�t get to compete.

dougzone: That must be very disappointing.

Whinny: Tell me about it, Willllburrrr!  All I can do now is hang around here with all the geldings from Dressage and wait for them to pack me up again for the trip back to Canada.  I�m the laughing stock!!

dougzone: Do you have any words for Eric?

Whinny: Of course not, I�m a horse!  Who do you think I am?  Mr.-fucking-Ed?  Sorry, Ed.

dougzone: So, if you could talk, what would you say to Eric?

Whinny: I would say, �Hey Dumbass, you aren�t doing the jumping!  Put some of the nose candy in my feed-bag, for Christ sake!!!� 

dougzone: Any final words for your fans, Whinny?

Whinny: Yes, I want the mares back at the farm to keep the home fires burning, if you know what I mean and one more thing.

dougzone: Yes, Whinny?

Whinny: I keep seeing the name LePages on my call display.  Can you tell them to stop calling because I don�t have opposable thumbs?

dougzone: Thanks for this.

Whinny: Don�t mention.  Please, I mean that.  Don�t mention it.

Eric's horse

Eric's horse on drugs

COPYRIGHT WASTE OF INC. 2000