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| Maple Leaf Gardens sold to Loblaws Toronto - Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment and Loblaws President, Bob Loblaw, the man with the most redundant and least impressive sounding name in the world, have co-announced the conditional sale/purchase of Maple Leaf Gardens. The new store, to be built into the shell of 'The House that Smythe Built on Carlton Street', will offer groceries and Toronto Maple Leafs' memorabilia, too! Here at dougzone, we would like to suggest a few slogans for the grand-opening advertising campaign. "Everything from Maple Leafs to maple syrup." "Everything from skate blades to blade steaks." "Everything from hockey nets to fish nets." "Everything from hockey sticks to fish sticks." "Everything from rink ice to drink ice." "Everything from body checks to rain checks." "Everything from shin pads to feminine pads." "Everything from face masks to facial masks." "Everything from puck-lifting shots to shoplifting sods." "Everything from butt ends to butt chops." "Everything from instant replays to instant rebates." "Everything from Stanley Cups to coffee cups." "Everything from cross-checking to cheque-cashing." "Everything from 'Holy Mackinaw' to holey cheese." "Everything from offensive redecoration of a Canadian landmark to defensive comments about the conversion of a Canadian landmark into a fucking grocery store." |
| COPYRIGHT WASTE OF INC. 2003 |
| Where's Mick when we need him? |
| There used to be a grocery outlet on this corner... |
| now, the whole damn thing will be one! |
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