Don Cherry expected to explode
Guelph, ON � Don Cherry, well-known hockey personality and all-round goof, will most likely explode when Canada�s Men�s hockey team wins gold on Sunday, according to D.L. Kalauscja, Canada�s number one, best-selling author of the pamphlet Bumprints of The Gods: All that I Know for sure and then some.
Kalauscja professes, �The alignment of two hockey gold medals will cause Cherry�s epidermis to peel away thus leavink him in a state of flux from which the only logical conclusion is explosion. I heard of somethink similar on Howard Stern�s radio show so it just has to be the truth!�
Howard Stern, a radio personality known as America�s Shock Jock, was stunned, more than usual, to hear of Kalauscja�s claim.
�I have done and said and done, again, a lot of shit on my show but that broad is crazy! I had my show pulled from Toronto�s airwaves so that she would stop calling me and complaining about the gridlock on something called #7.�
Stan McDowall, Canada�s number one pedant and founder of the I Hate Don Cherry Fan Club, was overjoyed at the �news�.
�People would say that I have short circuited when in fact I have created an open circuit in the Mute button on three TV remotes because of that guy. I�ll be sure to tune in for that event. Jesus H. Christ, it better not be on TSN!�
Oddly enough, when contacted, Mr. Cherry was speechless. |
