NOTE FROM THE BIPEDS:
On April 28th, 2001, in the late afternoon, we had the welcome opportunity to visit
a park and make some new friends, both two-legged and
four-legged. The sunset on this particular evening would be best
described as "silvery". Although to date we have not been able
to teach our dawg to fetch, wave, speak, or not eat the extra-large,
piping-hot Dominos pizza that we left unguarded on the coffee table in the
living room while we answered an urgent phone call, we have managed to teach
him to type. Take dictation, no. Type, yes. The following is
an excerpt, which we have carefully plagarized, from his memoirs, along with
some photos from his personal album. We hope you enjoy this as much as
we did.
April 28, 2001
"An Afternoon At The
Park"
A Personal Account by
Douglas De Dawg
It all started out innocently enough.
I was in fine form, if I do say so myself. After almost an hour,
I began to wonder...So, like, where are all the broads?? I had seen some mighty fine
ones at this park just last week. I couldn't flex like this for too much longer!!!
.
It occurred to me that I might be
waiting in the wrong spot. Or perhaps they were hiding from me,
playing hard to get and being le coy. I set off on a personal search....nope, they
weren't behind these
pilings.
I went all the way out on the pier...not
a sign of 'em. Were they avoiding me? Could it be my breath?
I made a mental note to quit picking up stinky, stiff, dead fish when I
found
them on the beach. Could it be my musky odor? I made another
mental note to quit catching lizards and rolling on them. Could it be
the lump of wet sand stuck on the end of my nose? Nah! They were
probably just enjoying Piña Coladas at the concession stand.
I plopped down on the grass and soaked up some
rays while I waited for them to show up.
Besides, when I was laying down, I didn't have to keep sucking my stomach in.
I made another mental note to do two things: (1) Cut back on the Milk Bone Dawg Treats for a
while; (2) Check out The Hair Club For Dawgs on the internet to see if they
have a hair style for me that might be a chick magnet.
Hey...could it be? Yes...there
was my good bud Ozzy! All the anticipation has driven him to throw back a couple of cold ones.
He must have just arrived because he wasn't covered in wet sand. I
went over to say
"Yo!" to him.
Just then the ladies arrived and
they took a liking to
Ozzy!
It's Party Time!!!!
Yo! Oz! Who are these
lovely lassies with the cute little hind quarters? Some serious butt
sniffs are in order here!
Pardon me, Reba, but would you please stand up?
I just know I left my suntan lotion around here somewhere!
Highlight of the afternoon: We all
sang a spirited chorus of Who Let The Humans Out... Woof...Woof...Woof...Woof Woof...followed
by How Much Is That Human In The Window.
.
Diane reminded Lady that she does have
a curfew and, above all else, she must not forget to behave like a lady!!
.
The rest of the day remains just a blur
in my mind. Also a blur in the camera because the light was getting
too dim to take pictures. But I do remember one thing:
There was some serious discussion as to whether these bipeds could ever be taught to
properly catch a frisbee and bring it back to us.
