Stone Age

This is a time when we know that every man woman and child on the planet was definitely living in a cave, or extremely crude dwelling. Doctor Kev Mann of Brickhead University states, "we found that by changing dating methods for each cave group, until we got the dates we wanted, we were able to prove that they all lived in caves at the same time. Because there were some instances where even this became difficult we came up with the migration theory and 'proved' where they migrated from and where to".

Having recently seen a documentary which proved that the French cavemen actually came from Japan (it did this by showing how that in France there were cave paintings done by a person blowing paint onto the cave wall. It pointed out that they had found this done in Japan; so obviously this was evidence of a migration from Japan) I questioned Professor Blockhead of Fundus Science Institute in regard this matter. I realised that I had seen children in Australia put their hands in paint and make a handprint on paper. I had seen similar pictures done in Japan. This made me ask if this was evidence that Australians had, in fact, migrated from Japan. "This is definitely a possibility that we should get some funding to investigate", he said, "there is certainly evidence of Japanese influence in Australia".

"Man were once all living in caves and then eventually they all began to build crude buildings which brought on the New Stone Age", said Anthropologist "Digger" Bones. I asked Bones why it was that the New Stone Age building shown in my science book had a more modern city found under it by recent diggings. This had Bones rattled at first. "Yes, he said, we have a policy of ignoring such things as they only get in the way of our evidence. But we will look into it with sufficient funding from someone. ANYONE"!

Further evidence of an actual Stone Age exists at any railroad station where it can be seen from the graffiti that man still has a race memory of the cave days of our ancestors.

Doctor Marilyn Munroe of Dur University said, "Uh…er…yes, I think I was once a caveman, in a past life".

Mr Don Belleavittall of Ballarat says, "we have the American Indians who were making axe heads made of stone and using wooden bows many centuries after their forefathers were doing complex skull operations using steel implements (and there is also evidence of space exploration at some stage)".

Professor Essour (of the Besser Institute for Retired Scientists) said recently, "the fact that there was a period when all peoples lived in caves can be evidenced by the fact that there are stones in all caves. This proves a definite Stone Age".