Dr. Rot (expert in space matters) said, "all the evidence of past space exploration by previous civilisations are, in fact, from large beings with the body of a man and the head of animals who came from other planets visiting us (as we see definite archaeological evidence of in Egypt). It is US who are the first earth civilisation in space, tis, tis, tis; I don't care what you've seen. We have the Space Age: It's ours".

Mr Iwunittat Thu-Races MP said, "It is also called the space age because so many people are spaced out on drugs. We realised that arresting people for using drugs and arresting small drug dealers wouldn't solve the problem: We had to get the people farming it and the people at the top to stop it".

"Yes", said his cousin Police Chief Imon Thu-Taik, "we had to put Police on the inside; selling, using the drugs and making a profit from it. The Police have to be drug dealers for years to get the big man. Occasionally we make a bust and show you how we have captured a small portion of what comes in the country every day. And we have been doing this for decades now and look at how successful it has been at stopping drug use"!????

Mr Bell Eavitt of Alcoholics Anonymous asks, "if this is true for drugs then does that mean the Police shouldn't be arresting people for drunk and disorderly or drink-driving either; but that alcoholism can be resolved by Police arresting the owners of the breweries, hop farmers and wine growers"?

Ms. Ino Children of Family Disservices says, "With us having gone into space we naturally now have more defiant children, greater youth crime and suicide. This is because of the release of cosmic rays caused by the entry into space. This problem is compiled with the added pressure of students doing more advanced studies in the final year of high school, such as cooking, acting and how to use a calculator. This along with the pressures of learning how to write letters and play games on computers has really caused great difficulties for them. Obviously these are the causes of the greater disobedience demonstrated in the last generations and not changes in parenting and laws, as some propose".

Once families lived in houses together. But now, with modern technology, we have people living in houses on their own or only one or two others. All this extra room in the house makes what is known as the Space Age.

Mr Gottit of the Foundation for Homeless Parents said, "due to family break-ups more space is needed for more houses to fit the ever decreasing population of each house."

Professor Space Doubt (of NASA) said, "It is great that man has once more visited the moon, but I can't even get back into my house as my wife took my key".

Mr Toocan Plaithat of Men's Lib says, "I am relieved to live in a country where we are having so few children and our population statistics have such a significant rise. I don't know how the experts at the census bureau do it but it's a marvellous work. They should be applauded".

When asked how this was achieved Mr I. Twistit of the bureau said, "It is simple enough really. We began to count people on working visas as Australians as well; which fudged up the figures giving the illusion there are now more of us".

"So what will you do next time" I asked? "We'll have to start counting tourists, I guess", replied Mr Twistit.

Chairperson McPherson (of Durson, Durson and McPherson) said, "It's this Space Age to blame for everything, you know. I'll be glad when it's over."