"Yes", says Mr Shawt Sited, "it was a truly dark time. I couldn't see a thing because I'd lost my glasses. The Roman optometrist that made them was dead and no-one knew how to make them any more".

Ms Dontthinkdeepli of Women's Lib says, "This was a time when due to constant wars we found it safer to give up on our Women's Lib and go back to the kitchen and just encouraged the men to go out and fight for us _ I'm not entirely stupid you know".

Miss Jones (historical secretary) commented, "the historians tell us that this was just a time when knowledge stood still. But from what I have observed it is plain that great knowledge was obviously lost; some we may not have back yet".

Mr I. M. Looken said, "I noticed in the film of Cleopatra that a Roman soldier was wearing a watch. So obviously they had them before the dark ages".

Dr Dolittle of Doonuthin Institute of Science said, "the dark ages was really called that because of there being so many knights". When I asked him what he meant by this he said, "well with all those knights of course it was dark".

Sir Moldie says of that time, "it was really called the dark ages because we were stuck in those silly castles with no windows. People had glass thousands of years before but I couldn't find a glazier anywhere".