TODD, THE HORENDOUS LARD-ASS

    Todd was a 12 year old boy stricken by obesity and a constant musky odor that flowed from his rolls of jelly-like lipid storage areas. Lipids, A.K.A., fat molecules. Todd was a dope-ass motherfucka’, on the reel. He lived most of his twelve in the small town of Aurora, Illinois. This was a strange town. Todd liked it though. There were always plenty of fine ass bitches around, and Todd, although obese, dug fine ass bitches. His favorite thing to do was run up to one of them hoes and tell them that he wanted to eat them. This made the girls laugh, which in turn made Todd’s face turn cherry red, for Todd, this was it. He went on with this charade for what must have been 3 to 4 years. Even though Todd was quite the tub o’ shit, he got tons of pussy. His favorite kind of pussy was firecrotch pussy, he thought it smelled kinda funny though. That was Todd for you, crazy as a loon. You may be thinking to yourself right now, well, uh, is Todd white, black, asian or other? Well, Todd is other, yeah, other. This didn’t phase Todd. Todd was funny looking as well as incredibly overweight.

    Anyways, Todd also liked the Wizard of Oz. This was Todd’s favorite movie. Todd liked it a lot. One time over the summer when it was really hot and humid, Todd ran out of his house buck naked, dove headfirst on the slip and slide and when he reached the end of the wet plastic fun apparatus, he squatted and puked all over his legs. To make matters worse, this girl from down the street that Todd wanted to bend over was walking by at the time and saw the whole strange event. She made the kind of look that seemed as if she was going to die from fright. Now Todd, being of sound mind and distended body, ran up to her and told her that he was going to eat her, which made her laugh and solved everything. Todd knew that laughter was the best medicine, which was probably why he was sick all of the time.