Howard Loves GWAR

    Howard was way into GWAR, no doubt. But for some reason, Howard just couldn’t rock quite as hard. His idea of rockin’ shit was spinning in circles until he could spin no longer, and then shit his pants. Howard actually send a video of one of his rock out sessions to GWARS’ management in the wake of the bassists’ recent departure in hopes of landing a sweet gig. However, they sent the tape back. Boo Hoo Howard. You see, what Howard didn’t tell anyone was that after Howard shit his pants he’d fall over and suck his thumb. Howard bought a ticket to a GWAR show last summer but his fat mom wouldn’t let him go, because he was a stupid jack-off. Howard lived in his parent’s shed and wore bike shorts at all times because it made him look like a jock. Howard is so paranoid about STD’s that he masterbates with a condom on. Howard is a 34 year old virgin and couldn’t find the G-spot on a twelve pound pussy. Holla!