Bailey thought everything was funny.

    To Bailey, everything was funny, especially the handicapped. However, the handicapped were not the only people, or things, which Bailey thought was funny, or at least somewhat interesting. For Bailey, or the guy his friends referred to as "monkey-jerk", everything was funny, and I mean everything. For instance, if an old man fell down a flight of stairs and landed on his sack of oranges and complained of feeling intense pain in his lower extremities, Bailey would laugh. However, if a monkey fell down a flight of stairs and complained that he/she felt extreme pain and discomfort in his/her monkey ass, Bailey would not laugh, for Bailey was educated, and therefore knew that a monkey would never complain about such an ailment.

    Bailey’s life in general was a one of complication and disappointment. His life was complicated because no matter how hard he tried or how far he traveled, he never found a woman who could understand his need for a salame sandwich after sex. His disappointment with life could be explained by his constant making of salame sandwiches at least a week prior to his disappointment with not receiving a salame sandwich after sex. For some strange reason this did not really bother Bailey all that much. For Bailey understood that only a real woman would make her man a salame sandwich after sex, and therefore, Bailey knew that his true love was to be found at the circus, not the classified section, as his friends have been telling him since his youth. For many years Bailey traveled the circus circuit in search of his true love to be, yet went to sleep every night without his hot broad armed with salame and white bread. Would his travels ever come to a conclusion, or at least a summation?

    In his travels, Bailey learned much and became what the elders referred to as a "smart motherfucker" as well as a "goddamn monkey-jerk". He traveled from Barstow to Bakersfield and never met a woman who even came close to knowing the importance of salame in a man’s diet regimen. Don’t get me wrong, Bailey got his fair share of trim, but the broads who dug him never got to know who he really was, a man who just wanted a salame sandwich after sex. The closest he got to ‘love’ on his travels on the circus circuit was the rendezvous he had with the bearded woman’s stepdaughter. Sure, she had a goatee, but she could never provide Bailey with that goddamn sandwich. Why is it that spell-check asks me whether or not I want to change or ignore the word ‘motherfucker’ but makes no mention of the word ‘goddamn’? Some things are meant to remain unknown to men.