Chapter 7

 

 

Taylor stared at Brooke with her mouth wide open.  She tried to talk but nothing came out. In all her years as a psychiatrist she had never felt so tongue tied before.

“I know, you must think I’m crazy and terrible too. But don’t worry Taylor, there isn’t anything that you’re thinking about me that I’m not already thinking too.  I don’t know how I let it get this far but I did, I did and I just don’t know what to do about it.”  Brooke grabbed a tissue and blew her nose.  “I hate myself Taylor, I do.”

“Love Brooke?” Taylor finally got out.  “Love?”

“You think it has to be just lust.  I know you think I’m a slut.  Maybe I am, but it’s more than that.  We connected.  We connected like I’ve never connected with anyone else in my life.”

“I’ve heard that one before Brooke.” Taylor told her without even trying to hold back her sarcasm.  Brooke had put her through hell time and time again and it was always the same. ‘Ridge and I have something you don’t have.  He loves me like he will never love you.  Your kids will survive.  Ridge is my soul mate.’  Brooke had used all those lines before and Taylor wasn’t buying it.  Brooke was deluding herself.  But at least she wasn’t doing it with Ridge this time, Taylor admitted.

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.” Brooke said.  “You never changed.  You claim you have, you claim you cared but you don’t.  I suppose you’ll be running to Ridge and Stephanie about this now.” Brooke spit at her.

“Brooke, I haven’t said a thing.  You’re putting words in my mouth.”  Taylor said in her own defense, but Brooke had a point. She didn’t think she could deal with this one alone.

“If you tell them Taylor then you will be the one responsible for hurting Bridget.” Brooke said in desperation.

“Don’t you go throwing your indiscretion on me Brooke.  You made this mistake, not me.”

Brooke wiped a tear away.  “I just meant that it’s over Taylor, it’s over and no one ever had to know and if you tell them it will get back to Bridget.  I don’t want to hurt her and I don’t think you do either.”

“Of course I don’t want to hurt Bridget, and I don’t want to hurt you either Brooke.  This is just so unexpected.  When you said you wanted to talk, I just imagined.” Taylor started.

“I told you it wasn’t about Ridge!” Brooke shouted.  “Damn it Taylor! Why are you doing this to me?”

“I’m not doing anything.  Brooke I gave you my word that I wouldn’t tell anyone and I won’t but you need help, you need real help.  Do you have any idea how textbook destructive this is?  Eric, Ridge, Thorne and now Deacon? Do you never find yourself attracted to a man who isn’t already taken?  A man who isn’t taken by a member of this family?” Taylor asked.  “This is sick Brooke, really sick.  You have to forget about Deacon and you need to get yourself professional help.  I’ll talk to you as a friend but you need someone more objective, someone who isn’t involved to talk to.  I can recommend someone.  I can get you that help.”

 

 

Vincent and Bridget walked along the beach.  It was a cool evening and he had given her his coat.  He also had his arm protectively around her.  “I had a lot of fun tonight.” He told her.

“So did I.” She admitted.

“I can’t believe you haven’t skated in a long time, you are a real natural.” He said as he pulled her closer.  “Are you cold?”

“I’m fine, but you must be freezing.  We should go back inside.  I can make coffee.”  Bridget suggested.

“I really wanted to spend more time alone with you.  Nothing against your roommate but you know what I mean.” Vincent turned her towards him and kissed her.  Her arms went around his neck and she drank in his taste, his aroma, his entire essence.  He was so different from Deacon and that suited her.  She sighed in contentment and looked into his eyes. 

“We can go to my room.”  She said.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She answered.  She didn’t know why she was moving so fast but it felt right.  She took his hand and turned them back around.  They walked towards the beach house.

 

 

“Megan said she’s still with Taylor.”  Rick told Amber.  She was dressed in a short, navy blue maternity dress.  Her hair was up, held with gem studded clips.  She looked sophisticated and elegant.  But she also looked angry.  “Amber, I know you’re disappointed but if she is with Taylor something important must have happened.”

“She should have called us Rick.  Not doing so is just plain rude. Here we are all dressed up and ready to go and she forgets all about us.”  She complained.

“I called and canceled the reservations.  I know Mom won’t be up for it now, but she’ll have to eat.  What I thought was that we buy some take out and bring it over to her house.  We get to see her, we get to eat and everything works out.”  Rick suggested with a smile.

“Like this?” Amber gestured wildly at her dress, hair and makeup.  She had originally not wanted to go out but she had then started to look forward to a night at Café Russe.  Now because of Brooke’s selfishness her plans were once more ruined.

“So go change, I’m going to.  And this way we can bring Little Eric with us.  He’ll make Mom smile and maybe we can get her into a better mood.”

“Why are you so worried about her?  She was just in Las Vegas Rick, she had a successful meeting.  Why should she be so down?  Not only that but she got her way.  Bridget and Deacon are over and Bridget is dating.  Your mother needs to get a life Rick.  She’s just feeling sorry for herself because Ridge didn’t leave Taylor and that’s just sick.”

“Don’t do it Amber, don’t talk about my mother that way.” Rick warned.  He turned away from her and headed into the bedroom.  Amber heard him slamming drawers and she silently cursed herself.

“You have to be more careful Amber.  Once you know her secret you’ll have all the cards and everyone will be on your side.  But in the meantime you have to just play along, just play along.” 

 

 

Brooke looked up finally.  She had been sobbing for quite some time and Taylor felt terrible about it, but she knew she was right and she couldn’t back down.  Brooke needed help and she needed it badly.  She was deep into a dangerous depression and it was only going to get worse.  She looked into Brooke’s bloodshot eyes.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you Brooke.”  She said softly.  “I do want to help you.  I hope you know that.”

“Why does everyone always think that I’m sick or deluding myself.  Is it so ridiculous to think that I could love someone or that someone could love me?  Do you think I’m so horrible that I don’t deserve love?  Is that it?”  She asked her.

“I never said that Brooke, I never would.  But your choices, they are always so self destructive.  Do you ever sit back and think about your relationships?  You know you have had a few that were good and healthy but you threw them away to chase after someone you couldn’t have.  You know that’s true Brooke.  I can give you examples.”  She told her.

“You mean Connor or James.” Brooke said through her sniffles.

“And Grant and maybe even Eric.  You didn’t go about getting him the right way but he loved you and you had a life that most women would envy.  You could have had so much with any of them.  Even Pierce Peterson, though I don’t know if that would have worked, but he was interested in you and you continued to chase after my husband.”  Taylor tactfully reminded her.

“This is not about Ridge, or Pierce or Eric or anyone else.  Taylor I laid my heart out for you and look at what you’re doing?  I never said that it is a good thing that I have these feelings about Deacon, but that doesn’t make them less valid.  Are you saying I don’t know what love is?” Brooke asked.

“Now look at your question Brooke.” Taylor said with diplomacy.  “The words came from your mouth, not mine but they are true, they are real.  Do you really know what love is Brooke? That is a good question.  Is love just good sex?  Then maybe you are in love, but I think you know that real love is more, much more.”

“I had much more than sex with Ridge and you know it.” Brooke said defensively.

“Again you are saying things that I haven’t even implied.  Are you feeling guilty?  Brooke.” She said taking her hand.  “I know you and Ridge did share a real love.  I know it was more than sex.  Maybe at one time I wouldn’t or couldn’t admit that but I can now.  But this, like you say isn’t really about Ridge.  But maybe in a way it is.  You’re looking to replace him with someone, but your choices, they are all wrong Brooke.  First you use his father, and I am not putting all the blame on that on you.  I know that Eric was as much involved as you were.  You were a vulnerable young woman and he was offering what you thought you had lost.  But then think about later.  You moved to Thorne, Thorne Brooke, a man who was your friend.”

“Love can come from friendship.” Brooke said. 

“Yes it can, but was that really what you were doing?  You had other friends, other male friends and yet it was Ridge’s brother you turned to.”

“You supported us in the beginning Taylor and you did again when we were married.” Brooke reminded her. 

“I was wrong Brooke, even you know that now.  You know it was wrong to be with him.  It doesn’t excuse my actions in Venice though.” Taylor admitted.  “But I did that for the right reasons.  I should have just talked to both of you and made you see the truth, but neither of you were ready to do that.”

“Venice is the past and I’m not holding that against you.” Brooke said honestly.  “But I still don’t think that you’re completely right.  I did love Thorne, I just hadn’t fully dealt with my feelings for Ridge.  I buried them and they exploded out at me.  I never wanted to hurt him.”

“You never want to hurt anyone Brooke, but you do hurt a lot of people.  I’m not saying you’re selfish, but I am saying you never look at the big picture.  If you did you would never have slept with your daughter’s husband.  You know this will kill her even if they are apart.  She trusts you more than anyone in the world and you have abused that trust.  And now you’re trying to justify that to yourself by saying that it’s love.  It’s not love Brooke, it’s lust, it’s sex and maybe it’s something even worse.  I think you are trying to destroy yourself.  I don’t want to see that happen.  I want you to get help.  You need to realize that you are a smart, vital woman and that you do not need a man to make you whole.  Once you’ve done that then maybe you will be able to have a real relationship.  But Brooke, until you do that it will never happen.”

“You could be wrong Taylor.” Brooke said.

“I could, but I don’t think I am.  Think about it Brooke.  Why did you choose another man who is off limits?  A married man?  A man married to someone you are related to?” Taylor asked.  She so hoped that she was getting through to her.

“I really wish someone was on my side for a change.” Brooke told her.

“There are no sides here Brooke and if there were I would be on yours.  You’ve already admitted to me that this thing with Deacon is wrong, that it can’t continue.  What I want you to do is think about why it happened to begin with and why you so desperately want to believe that it’s love.  Brooke do this, not for me, for yourself and I promise I will help you and I will get you someone else who can help you.  I’m on your side.  I want you to be happy, I really do.”  Taylor said with compassion.

“I have to think, I have to think about everything. Taylor, I’m more confused now than I was before.” Brooke told her.

“That’s a good start Brooke.  Yes, you do need to think and when you’ve done that then call me and we can talk again.  I am here for you.” Taylor told her.

“Thank you.” Brooke said in a whisper.  She looked up at the clock on the wall.  “Oh no.”

“What’s wrong Brooke?” Taylor asked.

“It’s eight thirty and I was supposed to be out to dinner with Amber and Rick an hour ago.  Now I’ve let them down too.”  She felt herself starting to cry again.

“Get yourself together Brooke, it’s not the end of the world.  Call them and tell them you were caught up in work and you’ll have to make it another night.  You don’t need to feel guilty about something as simple as this.”  Taylor walked to her and gave her a hug.  “Call me if you need me Brooke, I am your friend.” She smiled at her and walked out.  A few seconds later Megan came in. 

“Brooke? Brooke what’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.” Brooke sighed.  “My life is falling apart, that’s all.”

“Rick called.  I told him you were busy with Taylor, I hope that’s alright.”

“I missed dinner.” Brooke said.

“Actually you didn’t.  Amber called back and told you as soon as you were done to head over to their house.  They ordered in and they won’t take no for an answer.”  Megan said cheerfully.

“Do me a favor Megan.  Get me something to change into.  I’m going to clean up and I’ll head over there.” Brooke said.

“You got it boss.”

 

 

For the next few weeks Brooke avoided seeing Bridget.  She talked to her on the phone but she couldn’t face her.  It took all she had in her to go to the office every day and she spent her nights crying herself to sleep.  The last time she had been out was the dinner at Rick and Amber’s.  That had been a pleasant surprise.  Amber had been polite and Brooke had loved seeing the baby.  But when she held him and looked into his eyes she had seen Deacon and she had made a hasty exit.  It seemed to her that not a minute went by that she wasn’t thinking of him.  She missed him desperately.  All the results from the Vegas trip had been compiled and it was even more of a success than they originally had thought but when Brooke thought of Las Vegas her memories were the ones late at night in her hotel room.  She thought about the hours she had spent in the arms of a man that she had no right loving, a man she had no future with, a man she could not get out of her head or her heart.  She thought of Deacon Sharpe.

 

 

Phoenix was as dry and as hot as Deacon had heard.  But it was further away and no one knew him there.  No one knew him and no one knew he was there.  He was managing a club again, one not unlike The Lair and it suited him just fine.  He was drinking too much and staying up too late.  He was surrounded by beautiful woman but surprisingly he had not bedded a one of them.  Not that he hadn’t thought of it, or wanted to.  But whenever things had gotten to that point a face would flash in his head and his desire left him.  He had the woman wondering about him.  He wore no wedding band and had no photos but he seemed to be an untouchable.  It was obvious to anyone that he wasn’t gay and that he appreciated the beauty of a woman.  But was he shy?  Had he been burned?  Deacon was a man of mystery and that was what he intended to stay.  If people began to know him, to penetrate his cool exterior, he knew it would be time to move on again.  Only one person in Vegas knew his whereabouts and that was only so he could come back for the trial.  Deacon had left no tracks elsewhere.  No one in the world of Forrester would ever see him or hear from him again. 

 

 

Bridget was late for her last class of the day, so late that she decided it would be best to just skip it and head home.  She had been so deep into studying at the library that time had gotten away from her.  She gathered up her books and walked outside into the bright California sunshine.  The sky was a very welcome blue.  The familiar smog was no where to be seen and it brought a smile to her face.  In fact since meeting Vincent even a tsunami would have brought a smile to her face.  She had shocked herself by sleeping with him on their first date.  But it was good and she was glad that she had.  Since then they barely spent a spare moment apart.  Bridget was seriously thinking about transferring to USC so they could see even more of each other.  She had called for brochures and was reading about their pre-med program.  Smiling brightly she walked to her car. She was cooking for Vincent at home tonight. Betsy and her boyfriend were coming too.  Bridget was excited.  They were a real couple and she was happy.  She just wished that she could spend a little more time with her mother.  Brooke had been swamped at work and Bridget hadn’t pushed her.  She was so content with Vincent she didn’t see the need to make her mother’s life more complicated.  But now she wanted her to meet him.  She had mentioned him several times but Brooke had seemed so distant, so far away.  She had called him Victor and even referred to him as Marc.  Bridget really wished that her mother would take her head out of business and find some happiness like she had with Vincent.  She also knew that she had to introduce him to Rick and Amber.  They too thought she was still dating Marc as well.  Her entire family would be shocked to know that she had spent practically every night in Vincent’s arms.  Bridget rarely thought of Deacon anymore and when she did they were distant memories, memories of pain that was quickly subsiding.  She pulled up at a produce stand and picked out fresh vegetables for a salad as well as berries that she planned on baking in a pie.  Vincent, unlike Deacon fully appreciated her domestic skills.  He even took turns cooking with her.  She walked to the grocery section and inspected several different packages of good Italian pastas.  She was so intent on her mission that she didn’t hear the voice calling her name.

“Bridget?” Stephanie said loudly.  That time she heard her and turned.

“Oh Stephanie, hi!” She smiled brightly at her. 

“I was calling you over and over.  Is something wrong honey?” Stephanie asked.

“Not at all. I was just concentrating on these pastas.” Bridget said.  She walked over to the older woman and gave her a hug.  “I’ve missed you.”

“And I’ve missed you too.  When are you going to come and visit us again? Your father and I really enjoy your visits.”

“I do too but I’ve been really busy with school and all.” Bridget told her.

“And I understand you’ve been dating again.  That’s wonderful dear, but don’t move too fast.  You need to give yourself time to recover.” Stephanie advised her.

“I’m fine really.”  Bridget insisted.  “I’m having a lot of fun.  I’ve met a really great guy.  He’s so nice and I really want you and Dad to meet him soon.”

“How did you meet him?” Stephanie frowned.  She felt it was much too soon for the child to get involved in another relationship.  In fact she had hoped her world was filled with schoolwork and friends.  The world sometimes moved too fast to suit her. 

“We met at Insomnia.” Bridget said.  “He’s really nice Stephanie, I know you’ll like him.”

“He’s not like that man is he?” She asked cautiously.

“Vincent and Deacon couldn’t be any more different if they tried.” Bridget laughed.  “Vincent is in school, he goes to USC.  He’s ambitious and smart and really nice.”

“You keep saying that dear.” Stephanie reminded her.  “What does your mother think of him?”  Stephanie was sure that she would have the exact opposite reaction that Brooke had.  How she wished that she and Eric had raised the girl, how different her life would have turned out.

“Actually Mom hasn’t met him yet.” Bridget reluctantly confessed.  She hated being able to fuel Stephanie’s hatred of her mother even further but she wasn’t going to lie and put words in Brooke’s mouth. She was sure she would adore him as she did.

“And why is that?” Stephanie wondered.

“Mom’s been so busy lately.  She works late almost every night.  I’m getting worried about her.”

“I’ve been worried about her for years.” Stephanie mumbled under her breath. 

“Excuse me?” Bridget asked.

“I just said that perhaps it’s time she met him.  I would be interested in her reaction.”

“I know she’ll love him.  He’s really”

“Nice.” Stephanie supplied.

“Yes.” Bridget said.  And he was nice.  He was kind and funny and sexy and loving and exactly the man she wished she had met before Deacon Sharpe.

“Now that was a lunch break.” Taylor said with a smile as she came out of Ridge’s private bathroom buttoning her blouse.

“Tell me about it Doc.” He laughed.  “I sure needed that.  Who needs food? I’ll live off love.”

“Well, I did bring some sandwiches. But you’ll have to eat them alone.  I have to get going.” She told him.

“And I need to get back to work.” He sighed.

“Do you think you’ll be home at a decent hour tonight?” She asked. She looked at the pile of papers on his desk and frowned.  “You won’t will you?” She said, answering her own question.

“It’s an important showing Doc. It’s make it or break it time.”

“It shouldn’t be all on your shoulders Ridge.  You can’t hold this company up all by yourself.”

“Believe me I’m not Doc.  Actually I’m getting home a lot earlier than Brooke is.  She’s been putting in 12, 14 hour days.” Ridge told her.

“That’s not good.” Taylor said.  “How has she seemed to you Ridge?”

“Emotional, skittish but she’s working hard.  She’s pouring her all into this showing.”

“She needs time to herself Ridge.” Taylor sighed.

“She needs a nice guy to take her out and show her some fun.” Ridge smiled.

“No, she doesn’t need that at all Ridge.  Brooke needs to realize her own self worth.  If she doesn’t do that she’ll never get past this.  A man is the last thing Brooke needs.”

“Is this all from that mysterious talk you had with her Doc?” Ridge asked.

“I haven’t seen her since.  I’ve called her several times but she’s always too busy to talk.” Taylor explained.  “Maybe I should stop and see her before I leave.”

“She’s meeting with the buyers today.  You’d better put that off till next time.” Ridge suggested.  “But I think I may be right this time.  I think so R & R is all Logan needs to put the light back in her eyes.”

‘If only you knew.’ Taylor thought.  She smiled and hugged him.  “Now who’s the shrink here?” She laughed.

“You are my love, you are.” Ridge laughed back. 

 

 

Deacon slipped quietly into the office.  Brooke was intently studying the latest sales figures and she didn’t hear or see him.  He smiled to himself. How he had missed her.  How stupid he had been to stay away from her.  He walked behind her and turned her chair to face him.

“Deacon.” She gasped.

“I tried Brooke, I tried to stay away but I couldn’t.  I couldn’t get you out of my head, not for one second.  Tell me you felt the same.” He begged.

“I did.” She said as tears ran down her eyes.  “I thought I’d die from missing you.”

“You’ll never have to miss me again.” He said.  He brought his head down to hers and kissed her with the intensity she had never felt with anyone else.  She moaned loudly as she fell into the kiss, instantly wanting more.  A familiar ache spread through her body and between her legs.  She was embarrassed at how wet she already was. 

“We have to lock the door.” She told him between kisses.

“I already did Brooke.” He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed, the bed that had sat in her office for so long, the bed that had promised, yet never delivered passion.  Brooke knew that would end today.  “I need you Brooke, I want you Brooke, I love you Brooke.” He said.

“Oh Deacon, please don’t say that.” She moaned.

“I am never going to leave you again.” He said.  His strong, large hands ripped her blouse.  Buttons went flying and all Brooke could do was laugh.  He leaned over and took her aching nipples into his mouth. Even with the material of her bra between them Brooke felt herself going over the edge.  Her eyes were glassy with desire. 

“Touch me, touch me where I’m on fire for you.” She begged him.

“Oh Brooke, how long I’ve waited for that.” He undid the zipper on her short black skirt and pulled it off of her.  He smiled at the sexy pink panties that matched the sheer bra she wore.  “I love your line Brooke.”

“I love it more when its off me.” She moaned.

“I want to taste you Brooke, first I want to taste those sexy panties and then I want all of you.”

“Please, please Deacon. Take me, take me now.” She begged him.  Her orgasm was instantaneous when his hand slid inside her panties.  “Yes, oh God yes.” She moaned.  “What? What?” She screamed.  Brooke’s eyes popped open and she flushed with embarrassment.  She was sitting at her desk and her hand was inside her own panties.   “Oh my God Brooke, what are you doing? What the hell are you doing?”

 

“If you want to meet him then you and Amber should come.” Bridget told Rick.  “Betsy and Jimmy will be here too so you won’t have to feel funny.  I really want you to meet Vincent.”

“Budge, I’d like to but Amber isn’t feeling so great and Little Eric has a cold.  Besides, I’m sure if he’s that great I’ll meet him soon.  And if not, I’ll meet the next guy.” Rick laughed.

“The next guy?  You’re as bad as Stephanie.” Bridget complained.  She spent the next fifteen minutes telling Rick about their chance meeting at the market and how Stephanie had discouraged Bridget from getting too involved.  She left out all the insults she had made about Brooke.  She knew that Rick cared about Stephanie but he got very protective when it came to his mother.  She wanted to keep peace in the family.

“So are you sure you can’t come?” Bridget asked again.  “I’m making Pasta Primavera and I even made a Boysenberry Pie.  Rick I’d really like you to meet Vincent.”

“Let me talk to Amber.  If it’s that important to you I’ll see what I can do.”  He promised.

“Thanks Rick.  I hope you come.” 

 

 

Brooke was thankful for the steam room.  She had gone there and tried her best to calm down.  Afterwards she had taken a cold shower and changed into new clothes.  She had thrown her panties and bra away.  There was nothing wrong with them but she had been so embarrassed by her actions she never wanted to see them again.  Once more calm and in control Brooke was back at her desk at work.  Soft music flowed through her speakers as she looked over the designs that Ridge had decided on for the showing.  She was putting them into her own piles of choices when Ridge walked in.

“Another late night Logan?” He asked.
“Aren’t they all?” She said, not looking up.

“Everything is coming along on time Brooke.  Cut yourself some slack and call it a night.  Maybe you and Megan could go out for drinks or something.” He suggested.

“Are you telling me to go pick up a man?” She laughed.

“It wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.  But no, I don’t want to see you doing another one-night stand.”

“What do you mean by ANOTHER one night stand?” She asked him angrily.

“Logan, Logan, Logan.  That one you had in Vegas has taken a toll on you.  It’s not your style, that’s all I mean.  But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t meet some nice guy.”
“I didn’t have a one-night stand in Vegas.  That’s all in your head Ridge.” She said with a frown.

“Whatever you say.” He laughed.  He picked up one of the piles of designs.  “Are these your approved ones or rejects?” He asked.

“No rejects at all.” She told him.  “I was just putting them into the order that I think they should go down the runway.  Tomorrow I’d like to make some decisions on models.”

“Okay.” He said. He picked up the empty CD case and looked at it. “Lionel Richie again? You have something for him Logan?” Ridge asked.

“I like the song.” Brooke said.  She smiled to herself.  She had bought the CD as soon as she had returned from Vegas.  Not a day had gone by that she didn’t listen to it at least once. 

“Not my first choice but he’s okay.” Ridge said. 

“At least you have taste in fashion.” Brooke laughed.

“A smile? Is that a smile Logan?” Ridge teased.
“Get out of here and let me work.” She smiled at him.  She did value his friendship.  She had almost lost it and she was so glad that things were right between them again. 

“Logan, go home and relax.” He said.
“I won’t stay too long tonight Ridge.  Why don’t you go home?  You’ve outdone yourself with these designs and I’m really happy.  You and Taylor have a nice evening.  Things are bound to get crazier around here before they calm down.”

“You know what?” Ridge asked.  Brooke looked up at him.  “I’m going to take you up on that.  But promise me you won’t stay too late.”

“I promise.”  She said.  “Give my best to Taylor and the children.”

 

 

Bridget tasted her homemade salad dressing and grinned.  It was good, it was better than good, it was great.  Everything was perfect.  The table was set with the best china and glassware, the wine was chilling and the dinner was simmering.  Her pie had come out perfectly.  The crust was golden brown and tiny berries were seeping through the little holes.  All she needed was her guests.  Betsy was showering.  As soon as she was done Bridget would change.  She had picked out a long, flowing dress with a pattern of leaves and flowers.  It accented her eyes and her hair.  She hoped Vincent would like it.  To her joy Rick had called and he and Amber would be coming after all.  This would be a real party.  Soon people would realize how happy she really was. 

“Betsy!” She called though the bathroom door.  “Can I wear your brown sandals?”

“Huh?” Betsy asked, poking her head out.

“Your brown sandals.  Can I wear them?” Bridget asked.

“Sure.  Are the guys here yet?” 

“No, but hurry. I don’t want to be dressing when they come.” Bridget told her.

“Like Vince would care.” Betsy laughed.  She and Vincent had become fast friends.  She was so happy to see her friend happy and Vincent made her happy. 

“What are you wearing?” Bridget asked.

“My red mini dress.”  She told her.

“It’s in the hamper Bets.” Bridget informed her. 

“No! It can’t be.  Bridge, you were going to do the laundry today.” Betsy moaned.

“No I wasn’t.  I did it Saturday, it was your turn.”

“Now what will I wear?” She said to her.  “Damn it , damn it, damn it.”

“You can wear my blue one.” Bridget volunteered.

“Really?” Betsy smiled. 

“If you get out of the shower and get dressed!” Bridget laughed.

“Deal.” Betsy said.  “Two minutes and I’m out of here.”

 

 

“You look pretty Amber.” Rick said to his wife.  She was wearing a loose fitting maternity blouse over wild brightly colored pants. Her hair was knotted on top with a few loose strands for effect. 

“I feel like a house.” She complained.  “Bridget and Betsy are going to look so tiny compared to me.”

“They can’t hold a candle to you.  You’re carrying my baby and you’re beautiful.” He said with a kiss.  “Are you ready?”

“Helen is in with little Eric.”  She said.  “Do you think Bridget feels funny around him?”

“I don’t think so Amber, everyone’s always thought of him as ours, not Deacon’s.  And I think she’s really getting over him.”

“It must have been sad breaking up with Marc so soon though.” Amber said.  “I hope this new guy is nice, but I hope he isn’t moving too fast.  Bridget is vulnerable right now.”

“I plan on checking him out big time.” Rick assured her.  “I hope that Mom and Dad get to meet him soon too.  I know Bridget could use as much support as possible.”

“Your mother hasn’t been very supportive of anyone lately Rick.  I think it’s time she got over losing Ridge, I mean it’s not like she ever really had him anyway.” Amber said as she picked up her purse.

“I thought you were going to try and be more understanding of her honey.” Rick said sternly.

“I’m trying Rick, but she doesn’t like me and she doesn’t pretend otherwise.”

“One of you has to be bigger about it.  I’d be really proud of you if you’d be.” He said.

“Okay Rick, I’ll do my best to be friendly with her.  I promise.”  She told him.  She looked around.  “Do you have my wine?”

“Wine? Amber you’re pregnant, you can’t have wine.” He exclaimed.

“I know that silly, I meant the non-alcoholic wine.  I bought a bottle today so I wouldn’t feel all left out.”

“Great idea.” He said.  “I’ll share it with you.”

“Thanks Rick, I really love you.” She said with a big grin.

 

 

Betsy walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.  She took a cherry tomato out of the salad and popped it into her mouth.

“I saw that.” Vincent teased as he and Jimmy walked in.

“Oh my God you scared me.”  She told him.  “Don’t tell Bridget, she’ll kill me.” She walked over to them and hugged her boyfriend. “Hi baby.” She said with a kiss.

“Where is she Bets?” Vincent asked.

“Still getting ready.” She said when she finally tore her lips from Jimmy.

“Okay.” He smiled.  He walked away from them towards Bridget’s closed bedroom door. He opened it and walked in.

“I’m hurrying Betsy.  It’s your fault anyway, you took too long.” Bridget said without turning around.

“Not Betsy.” Vincent said as he leaned over and kissed her neck.

“I’m sorry.” She said turning to face him.  “Betsy is so slow.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He said.  He walked to her bed and picked up the dress she had laid out.  “I like it.” He said to her.

“I’m glad.  I hoped you would.”  She smiled at him. 

“I noticed there are extra settings at the table.” He said.  “Who else is coming?”

“Aren’t you observant?” She teased.  “My brother and his wife.” She answered him.  She picked up her brush and ran it through her hair.

“So I finally get to meet the elusive Rick, cool.” He said.  He put the dress down and walked back up to her.  He gently lowered the strap of her cream colored bra and bent down to kiss her breast.

“Vincent we have company coming.”  She giggled, not really minding at all.

“Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?” He asked.

“Yes, but tell me again.  I never get tired of hearing it.”

“Are you sure we don’t have time?” He asked with a smile.

“They won’t stay all night.”  She told him.

“I’ll be thinking of those pretty panties and that bra all night.” He said.  He lowered the other strap and gave her other breast equal attention. 

“Enough.” She laughed, pulling the straps back up.  “If you get me going now I’ll never leave the bedroom.”

“Sounds okay to me.” He said.  He gently massaged her shoulders.

“Yeah me too, but what kind of a hostess would I be then?” She asked him.  “Now get out so I can get dressed in peace.”  She instructed him.

“Did I leave my Swatch here last night?” He asked her.

“I didn’t see it.  Vincent, you have to be more careful.  You lose too many things.” She scolded him.

“I know, I know.  You sound just like my mother.”

“Then your mother must have been very smart.” She laughed.

“What are these?” He asked as he picked up the brochures from USC. 

“You know exactly what they are.” She frowned.

“Are you really thinking about transferring?” He asked her.

“I hate to be away from you.” She admitted.  “Besides, I don’t have too many friends at school now.”

“Don’t change for me babe.  I can always change to your school.  You’re a med student, you need to stay where they have the best program.  And anyway, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sometimes I can’t believe we’ve only known each other a couple of months.”  She said.

“The best couple of months in my life.” He said. 

She turned to him and they embraced.  Their mouths met in a loving kiss. Finally Bridget broke away.  “Go on now.  I need to get dressed.”

“Okay babe.” He said.  “I’ll be waiting.” He smiled at her and walked out.  Bridget hugged herself.  She couldn’t believe how happy she was and it was all because of Vincent.

“I’m going to marry that man.” She told her reflection.

 

 

Brooke yawned and put down the sketch she had been looking at.  She was tired and they all were starting to look the same.  She picked up the notes from the meeting and inspected all the check off points.  They were almost there.  The showing was moving along on time.  She sighed as she looked at the paper again.  It was stationary from the hotel.  The Bellagio, she sighed.  Memories of the nights there flooded her mind.  She could almost smell him.

“What am I doing to myself?” She asked aloud.  “It’s impossible.”  She traced the hotel name with her finger.  “Oh Deacon, I never meant to fall in love with you.  I wonder if you ever think of me.”

 

 

Deacon put down his empty glass and turned to the bartender.  In the few weeks he had been there he and Angie had gotten to be friends.  She was married, happily married and that suited Deacon.  He enjoyed the company of women but he didn’t want or need another involvement.  Angie was easy to talk to and very easy on the eyes with her long brown hair and doe-like eyes.  He realized he was staring at her when she frowned.

“Sorry Ang.”  He told her.

“Something’s bothering you, I can tell.” She said as she refilled his glass with the rich, amber liquid.

“Thanks doll.” He said.  “Nah, nothing is bothering me really.  I was just appreciating the view.”

“Sure you were.  Deacon talk to me.  Who is it that occupies that head of yours all time?” She asked him.

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said with a sigh.

“I know men Deacon, I grew up with six brothers and I can spot a love sick man a mile away.  So what’s her story?  Did she do you wrong?” Angie baited him.

“Nah.  She was great.  She was the most special person I ever met in my life.” He closed his eyes and Brooke’s face floated in front of him as it had every day since the first time they had made love.

“So why aren’t you with her?  Is she married?” Angie prodded.

“It’s a long story.” He said.

She looked around the empty bar and motioned to him.  “I got the time Deac, and I got a good ear too.”

“It was doomed from the start.” He said.  “I never should have touched her, but I couldn’t help myself.  She was beautiful Angie, but it was more that that.  It’s more what she is on the inside than the outside.  She has a heart the size of Texas.  And she let me in it.”

“You love her.” Angie stated plainly.  Deacon looked at her as if the thought had never crossed his mind.  But he knew he had been fighting it for months.

“Yeah, I love her.  But it can never be.”  He picked up his drink and swallowed it in one gulp.  He reached for a cigarette and lit it.  After one drag he put it out.  “She hated my smoking.” He said.

“If you’re not with her, what does it matter?” Angie asked.

“I don’t know.  But I find myself still trying to please her.  Angie the first time I made love to her it was an epiphany.  Our bodies melded together like we were born for it.  And her laugh, her beautiful laugh.  I think of that and I could cry.” He admitted.

“You got it bad.” She sympathized.

“I’ll get over it.” He said.  “I need to get laid.  I need to remind myself there’s plenty of snatch out there.”

“Ewwwh, crude Deac, real crude.” Angie laughed.  “Besides, somehow I doubt you ever thought of this lady that way.”

“I never did, and I never will.” He said.  “Ang, I wanted to claim her as my own and never let anyone else touch her.  I wanted to marry her and make her big with my baby.  I wanted to die in her arms.  I wanted, oh how I wanted.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Angie asked again.

“You’d never believe me if I told you and honey, I ain’t telling.”  He laughed.  “So come on, fill me up again.”  He handed her his glass.  She gave him a critical look but filled it anyway.

“You know Deac, a love like that doesn’t come along every day.” She reminded him.

“You telling me that Old Al doesn’t do it for you?” He asked her.  “How about a try at Deac?” He teased.

“Let me tell you a story Deacon.  And maybe when I’m done you might have learned something.”  She poured herself a drink and pulled her stool over close to the bar.  “It all started in 1996.” She began.

 

 

“Why do you keep torturing yourself Brooke?  He doesn’t want you. He doesn’t feel the same way and even if he did you can’t hurt Bridget.”  She watched the tear fall from her eye and land on the paper.  “No, no I can’t do it anymore.  I just can’t.” She roughly grabbed the phone. Through her tear stained eyes she punched in the numbers on the top of the stationary in front of her.

“Good evening, Hotel Bellagio, this is Chandra, how may I help you?” The polite voice answered.

“Um, um please connect me with security.” Brooke requested.

“One moment please.” She said.

“Hello, Security, this is Lonnie.” A man’s gruff voice spoke.

“D,d,Deacon Sharpe please.” Brooke said in a near whisper.

“Sharpe ain’t here.” He told her.

“Oh, oh. Um, when do you expect him in again?” Brooke asked.

“Who’s this?” Lonnie asked.

It was now or never for Brooke and somehow she found the nerve deep down inside her.  “It’s Brooke Logan.”  She said.

“Well Deacon don’t work here no more.  He left town, moved to Arizona or something.” He informed her.

“He’s gone?” She whispered. “He’s gone.” She repeated, not as a question but as a statement.

Lonnie hadn’t even realized that she had hung up as he promised to give him the message if he ever called. He shrugged when he heard the dial tone but still wrote down the note. 

 

            Deacon Sharpe

            Brooke, the elevator lady called.

 

He put the note on his supervisors desk knowing that it might be about the case.  Meanwhile in Los Angeles Brooke buried her head in her hands and wept over lost chances and lost love.

 

 

“So you married the guy your family wanted you to and you let the one you really loved leave?” Deacon asked Angie.

“I did.”  She said.  “Now don’t get me wrong, Al’s a good man.  He’s a good husband and he makes me happy, but I swear Deac, not a day goes by when I’m not thinking about Jack and what might have been.  He was the one,  he was the special one that stole my heart.  If I had it to do over again I would never have let him get away.  Think about it Deac.  It may not be too late for you and your lady.  Don’t let stubbornness and pride get in the way.  If you love her go to her, claim her, make her yours or I swear you’ll regret it every day for the rest of your life.”

 

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