Yes, you.
Take the quiz.
Music Long Distance Ivy
Mood jumbled
Word of the day feminist
Quote of the Day null
I'm not exactly sure how to start this train of thought. Might as well just give it a try I guess.
Looking around, reading blogs, and over-all just observing, it's weird to see the expanse of of female liberation within our society. There are the secure, independent women, and the insecure, emotionally degraded. But neither can be classified to one social class or group, or ethnicity.
And it's weird to wonder how it got that way. And other questions. Like, how is it that men are always so confident within their abilities and selves? Why is it so seemingly easy to degrade a woman in what seems like any society? Why are women so easily molded to some out-dated ideal that is degrading and disgusting?
And I really have to wonder how many women really want the supposed, ideal life-style that classifies a woman to the household with 2.4 kids, a dog, a successful husband and a suburban household. Really, how many women of the generations past actually wanted the children they had? How many looked to the careers of their husbands and thought how much they wanted one?
Looking at my friends, I wonder how many of them really want it also. Living in a primarily Mormon area of town, it's no surprise to see a lot of girls talk about having job, only until they get married and have children. And why is they assume they should be the ones to stay home and take care of the children? Mr. Moms are more and more popular these days (just what I'm counting on), so why do they still hold on to these outdated ideals?
Why do these girls even want to get married and have children? Why does the idea of independence and self-fulfilling life-style seem so distasteful? I seem to be the black-sheep of my region's female population. Even if I despise children, I do however hold onto the romantic ideal of marriage. However, I know it would be hard to find a man that would accept me as the one that wears the pants in the family. A strong, independent woman like me likes her space, and holds no stock in the typical suburban, 1950's lifestyle so many see as ideal around me.
I look at girls around me when they talk of what they want, in wanting the aforementioned ideal and I find it disgusting. Sure it's what they want, but I'm sure only because it's what's been ingrained within them for so long. It's disempowering to our gender to have come so far and yet, so many women hold us back to our supposed "rightful" places within the household and out of the workplace.
And yet, there's so many independent women that are declaring their distaste for marriage and children, which makes me squeal with delight. And they're happy with no marriage and children. Which refutes the assumption that all unmarried, childless women are bitter and resentful to having a career and never having the lifestyle prescribed by society.
Okay, I think I'm done now.
Next time Dorky personality problems.
entry 52 July 13, 2002 1:11 p.m.
Music Ultra Chilled 02
Mood accomplished
Word of the day Gryffindork
Quote of the Day "Gryffindorks. Ha! I'm so clever."
Have a newly acquired crush on Vincent Cassel. Do not know where it sprang from and am honestly quite disturbed by the revelation. However, a crush is a crush.
Finished the seventh chapter of my fic. Am feeling smarmy and accomplished. I called my sister smarmy and she almost had an epileptic fit. Then she tried to murder me. What else is new?
Am getting big, big ego from all the reviews for my humor fic. Am much happy with it. I've always known I was better at writing humor than anything else, but this it's just ridiculous how much better people seem to view it to be.
Am unwillingly thinking of a major in journalism. Bad, bad thoughts. I've always been so sure in what I wanted my major to be. Now I am torn. Between Biology, Journalism, or Computer Science. Maybe I can do a double major and a minor. And spend freaking six years in college just to do that. Eep. Perhaps then I would decide med school is way too much and be sick of school. Sigh, nope probably not. I'm a masochist and actually like school. I am Hermione Granger incarnate. Eep.
My Harry Potter mini-notebook is finally being useful. And I'm finally deciding I need somewhere to write down all my jumbled thoughts. Is a very cute mini-notebook with Hedwig on it. And contains random things, often of the Harry Potter fandom and the infamous Long-Term/Short-Term To-Do List, but I'm sure it will branch to other things once school starts.
Am off to go do something or other.
Next time Something or other.
entry 53 July 14, 2002 6:32 p.m.
Music Ultra Chilled 02
Mood miffed
Word of the day Gryffindork
Quote of the Day null
I'm not allowed to comment on my sister's supposed infamous occupation anymore. Not because mother really cares, it's more of we're just sick and tired of my sister getting defensive and spouting the "pity me, I'm so underprivileged and it's all unfair, you cruel cruel bastards" speech. When this is really the first time I've ever said anything remotely mean to her. In al my sixteen years she's criticized, sneered, and sarcastically commented on anything and everything I ever do, say, act, etc. So when I get into high school and develop a back bone to start saying things back, nothing is really ever quite nice in the household these days.
Then she tells me I'm selfish, lazy, and an all around bad person. I don't know what evidence she has towards these claims. But oh well, if I keep complaining too much, I'll start sounding like I'm really angst-ridden. I suppose you're not really a teenager without some semblance of angst hidden (or not so hidden) within you.
I was going to stop soon anyway. I'm fairly sure I don't want to go to hell. I'm sure I already am, but let's not make the sentence more worthy than it already is.
Two more years till I move out, two more years. It's almost a mantra. Two more years, two more years....
9:40 a.m.
My bumper sticker reads:
Yes, you.
Take the quiz.
Uh, no? Good advice, but uh, no. Why? Because I'm all for sex. If I could, and was in a committed relationship right now, I'd be having sex. Oh, and that pesky promise I made mother about not having sex till I'm out of high school (Curse you Mom).
Just thought I'd share.
Next time Something or other.
entry 54 July 16, 2002 5:09 p.m.
Music Version 2.0 Garbage
Mood tired/miffed
Word of the day orgiastic (just take a wild guess)
Quote of the Day "I was Orgasmo."- Adam on his porn star name.
Cool site of the day: Women in Green Mythology. Go to it, NOW. Or else suffer the wrath of The Erinnyes upon your foolish mortal soul.
Have been deciding upon anew hobby for my bored, bored soul but instead decided upon the old one of an obsession with Greek mythology. Actually, it was all mythology, and folk tales really. I was the only kid in elementary school that knew who Zeus was, and beyond that, what it really took to wake Sleeping Beauty up, how demented European fairy tales really were, and that in China, spitting on a ghost binds them to your will. Sigh. Good times, good times *sniff*.
But actually, I'm researching for heavily for a new fanfic I'm developing that actually will have a *gasp!* plot to it. Well, as much of a plot as I can manage. And, eek, it might actually be a novel-length mofo. However, I think I am more confident in my writing abilities than even six months ago and could tackle something if I kept myself interested enough in it. Might suffer a bit during the school year, but I think I can manage. Not like I have much of a life anyway (outside of school that is).
And, I have finished the other one. But with all the people bugging me I decided on a sequel, which you can refer to above.
And gosh, the word and quote of the day both are covertly sexual. Eep.
Oh yes, had to drive the resident Freeloader otherwise known as Adam to work today. Shall have to tomorrow and Thursday as well. He's lucky I'm such a nice, squishy person on the inside.
My Harry Potter notebook it getting filed surprisingly fast as I write down the oddest little things in it. Fear I shall develop an unnatural attachment to it, and not be able to live or do anything without it. Following in my mother's footsteps in that particular neurosis.
Next time Nemesis bustin' a cap on yo punk ass.
entry 55 July 18, 2002 2:23 p.m.
Music Version 2.0 Garbage
Mood tired/miffed
Word of the day orgiastic (just take a wild guess)
Quote of the Day "I think he should fall down the stairs an die of his own stupidity." "Bush or bin Laden?" "Both." -My mother and I while watching the news.
Geocities is being impossible. I want to upload my art dammit! These people suck major booty.
iniqua invidia except Geocities is being impossible
iniqua invidia but that's not really new as it is incredibly annoying
schizo02 as usua;
schizo02 ncidentally, the same could be said if I walked into my dining room and saw Debbie Harry completely nude, spread eagle on the table.
schizo02 *usual
schizo02 *incidentally
iniqua invidia Debbie Harry? who's that
iniqua invidia and thanks for th elovely info about your home life
schizo02 but that's not really knew as it is incredibly annoying
schizo02 indeed
iniqua invidia but who's Debbie Harry?
schizo02 I'm not quite sure who debbie harry is
iniqua invidia ...
schizo02 I think she might have been an 80s singer
iniqua invidia but she is around your dining room a lot?
That was odd. And the slightest bit scary.
In other news, I've also taken back up the hobby of drawing after a long, long while of living without it in withdrawal pains.
Oh yes, and Axelle (A.L. Sauveterre to all you FictionAlley folks) is the sweetest girl ever. Just thought I 'd let you kow.
In also other news, I'm tentative about starting my new fanfic. Am scared. Somebody hug me.
Okay, I'm find now I think.
Next time Nemesis bustin' a cap on yo punk ass.
entry 56 July 19, 2002 7:24 a.m.
Music beautifulGarbage Garbage/Be not Nobody Vanessa Carlton
Mood tired/hungry
Word of the day orgiastic (just take a wild guess)
Quote of the Day null
Yes, I would have to agree. I'm just far too happy with myself to be one I suppose.
But I wanted Buttercup! They suck.
Okay, I'm done now.
*Update hours later- 6:39 p.m.*
Went with parents to Borders and Barnes & Noble and the whole time browsed the "mythology" sections while telling my parents such things like: "Mom, this is a good thing to get me!" or "Daddy, I want this one!" or just plain "Ohh! Ahh!". I'm such a bookstore whore. Then I saw this really great book about making verbal abuse in Latin. Was awfully tempted to buy it, but it would besmirch my California fund for vacation in August.
I don't know how I'm going to survive vacation and a good fives days away from my lovely computer disk with my fanfic on it. *Sob, gasp, cry!* It's okay, I'll be all right. I'll just take my handy dandy Harry Potter notebook. Plus, I'll pick up some really great quotes from Jim. Who by the way is the husband of Jeanne, whom is a good friend of the family and mother is shipping me and my sister off to for the better part of a week while her and my father do stuff along the lines of the Ben & Jerry's ice cream "Makin' Whoopie Pie." *Shudder* ew. I should be used to it by now with how much my perverted father talks about it. My whole family talks about it really. My family is perverted. Fun fun.
Tomorrow I don't have to wake up at 5:30 a.m. and go running/walking and look at all the funny people at the park. Whee! It's a beautiful thing.
Like one lady carries a min-baseball bat that you usually buy as a souvenir at games. Then another one wears black panty hose. And another is this really old lady with wrinkles and cellulite and wears the shortest booty shorts and nothing but a sports bra, and ick! Then there's Harvy, who decides to say "Good Morning" every time we pass, which is about ten times. Weird, weird people. And the pitiful dogs are a whole 'nother story.
I regret not buying a book this evening. Curse me and this whole miser thing. Miser means miserable, by the way, in Latin.
Am off to finish my chapter and make at least some form of a story/chapter outline. Whee!
Next time Random quizzes and shopping zaniness.
entry 57 July 20, 2002 3:25 a.m.
Music Garbage Garbage
Mood sullen
Word of the day orgiastic (just take a wild guess)
Quote of the Day null
 |
Villains fear me.
|
Yeah buddy. "Hey Mom, I'm the Shrieking Arrow!" "That's nice dear, just don't hurt yourself with those pointy tips." I can just see the dysfunction now.
Am feeling very unloved as of late. No one likes my stories or art. *Sniff*. "I'm a loser ba-bee so why don't you kill me." Technically, supposed to be a question, however, it doesn't end with the typical ascent in tone, so it's not in my book.
Am much regretting not buying a book yesterday, even if there were too many to choose from. All to buy clothes in California, or art supplies, or even *gasp* books. Mother had to buy me another book cake today for the fact that I only have one right now that's over-flowing with novels and all the other weird literary pieces I've acquired over time.
I need a job, but I probably won't get one till next summer. Adam has convinced me into doing lifeguard training in the spring and working with him for the county next summer. Curse him and his effeminate wiles. I came tot he realization that if he had black hair, he would look like the Harry Potter of the book's description. If a bit more nerdy than originally thought. And he likes to gel his hair down to a perfect styling. I hate that about him. Him and his dorky, dorky hair. He's more anal about his hair than I am about mine. Then again, Adam's more feminine than I'll ever be. I'm hoping one day he'll realize his potential and become a Transvestite Executive. That'd be pretty sweet.
I just forgot what I was going to say in an intermission of five minutes as I talked room arrangements with my mother. Then she complimented my Hermione portrait. *Squeal*. I loff me Mommy.
Am about ready to explode if I don't buy a book soon. Eep. Fortitude Tegan, fortitude. Remember, California. California. You're always disappointed on other vacations when you don't have enough money to buy stuff. You can always come back and buy whatever you want.
Sigh. I think I'm okay now.
7:05 p.m.
DEAR LORD, IT'S THE APOCALYPSE!
And the sad thing is, I actually contemplated taking a picture of Dexter to put on it. *Sob!* Somebody hug me.
Mother is planning a vacation very soon up to see relatives in SLC. She said we should later in the summer, then I reminded her there's only a month of summer left, in which one of those weeks Lauren and I are in California. Sure, it's all so damn great for college students and they're stupid, smarmy semesters so they can start later, have more of a vacation. *Sigh.* I'm just jealous I couldn't by-pass high school completely and apply to uni.
I changed my FictionAlley avatar to the RRRRABBIT! "The mos' foul tempered crreature you've eve' laid eyes upon!" Gosh, I loff Monty Python. *Sniff*.
Fool-proof date screening. First-date, bring him back to my place, put on Monty Python and the Holy Grail. See if he laughs. If yes, I shall seriously contemplate marrying him. If not, no second date for you!
Lauren (my sister if you didn't know) looked like Target team member as she went off to work today. Ha! Poor, poor girl. She is, of course, not a Target team member (anymore), but works at a daycare. I'd die if I worked at a day care. Considering I seriously contemplate suicide if we're in a elementary school zone. "Eep! Get them off me! Get it off!" Bad memories. And the children always seem so fascinated by me. I'm not fascinating I tell you! Well, yes I am, but not to a five year old! I seriously doubt they would know why I laughed when Harry and Hagrid discussed wands and Hagrid replied "Most important piece of equipment." Or something to that effect. Oh! It was fun!
And finally, after more than a month of owning the bugger, I found the deleted scenes of Harry Potter. Was much miffed that it took so long to find. And then they tell you the answer to the potions experiment after you already figured it out. The commie bastards.
Next time Tegan-licious fun! (Gosh that sounded dirty.)
entry 58 July 21, 2002 12:31 p.m.
Music Parachutes Coldplay
Mood sullen
Word of the day orgiastic (just take a wild guess)
Quote of the Day null
Have come to conclusion that I am not a Bond girl, but rather Powers girl. My name? Anita Goodlay. Or Hope Flora Shaggin. Thanks, I came up with both myself. Oh yeah, I'm bootylicious all right.
I somewhat shudder to think if they made an fourth Austin Powers film and had to travel back to the eighties. Maybe the next Powers girl would be a punk rocker, or Tiffany. Either is somewhat, odd. Or hey! Molly Ringwold! Uh, nevermind.
Mother has said I'll have about two weeks of vacation in two different places in the middle of August. Wippee! Or, well the first and second weeks, not really the middle. Whatever.
Was watching MTV's "You Hear it First" and it showed the Russian Pop lesbian duo of teenage girls they're importing to the US. Then one of the girls said: "Everyone thinks we're lesbians, but really, we just love each other." Um, I think that classifies you as lesbians. And I really have to wonder how they decided to be lesbians- was it by the prompting of their manager for a new marketing angle, or they were found shagging on the tour bus and lightning was struck in the form of a marketing epiphany in capitalization upon the homosexuality of two teenage girls and the sick fetishes of many men.
I'm just waiting to the homosexual boy band to come out. Yay.
Next time Tegan-licious fun! (Gosh that sounded dirty.)
entry 59 July 24, 2002 1:01 p.m.
Music Return of Saturn No Doubt
Mood blasé
Word of the day revamp
Quote of the Day null
So I redesigned again. Shoot me. That might actually help in stopping it from happening again. Really though, I was a bit tired of always having to copy and paste through this elaborate process to be able to update my blog.
So I considered getting a LJ. Then decided, I wasn't a follower really. And thought about blogger. Which I still might do.
In other news, I am going to convince my mother to let me paint my room the hot pink of above in the winter when we get around to painting my room. Much hope she will agree. It's not like she can't paint over it when I move out or she sells the house.
<rant>
My sister thinks I'm gay because I might not want to get married when I'm older. That's so degrading to women. Just because I don't feel the need to fit some perfectly calculated Nuclear Family template doesn't mean I'm anything other than independent and comfortable in myself.
It aggravates me so much when people say things like this. Even commercials on television aggravate me in the sense of feminism and how they degrade women to the position of housewife. It aggravates me when girls tell me all they want in life is to marry a rich man and have children. Society aggravates me in the pressure it puts on young women to marry and have children when it hardly does so to young me. I'm aggravated that even in such a modern society, it's hard for a woman to be independent and unattached without hassles from society at every turn.
It aggravates me the most when people doubt that I know for sure that I don't want children and that I might never want to get married. Aggravates me to an extreme when people think I'm some newfound radical for not wanting children, and not wanting marriage. Aggravates me mostly for the chauvinistic, close-mindedness that everyone posseses that makes them believe they have the right to be rule my life for me.
"I don't want children. I loathe children. I dislike them greatly."
Condescending laugh. "You won't say that when you're thirty, unmarried, and your biological clock is ticking."
"Don't tempt me with such a utopian ideal!"
I don't hate men, if that's what you're thinking. I love men. Men are nice. Most of them. I just strive for equality. I strive for the breaking of society's chauvinistic gender roles.
It's not that the idea of marriage squicks me for any one reason or another. I still vaguely cling to the idea of marriage for companionship and love. Not producing babies and furthering the clichés of our world. But I find it hard to believe that most men would want to marry men with all my supposed "radical" ideas of no children, submissive homemaker husband, and me as the bread-winner. So I don't have to be the dominant bread-winner. But still. Most men cling to the idea of a submissive housewife and children, while he pays little attention to anything outside of making enough money and keeping the wife satiated with lousy sex a few nights the week.
And I don't want that. I loathe that ideal. I like being independent and want to experience life. Many spinsters before say that they were happy without a husband for they experienced so many more things in their lives than if they had been tied down to a "stable" life with a husband and children.
</rant>
How I want that. And would want an understanding husband. ...Just realized that Curt fits that description perfectly. Ew.
Next time Femme Nazism.
