THE UNIVERSE IS OUT TO GET ME
The universe
is out to get me. I know it is. It's all one huge, involved plot intended to
intimidate and harass me.
I can hear
what you're thinking. You think I'm
being irrational. You think I'm being
overly sensitive. You think I'm
exaggerating. You think I'm being the
'p' word. You think I'm wrong. Well, I'm not.
I know it's true and I can prove it.
How's this
for proof? Sometimes my belongings are
moved out of place. They simply aren't
where I know I left them last. Somebody
is obviously moving them, trying to pull a gaslight, trying to make me doubt my
sanity. That's not the worst of it
though. The universe is colluding with
them. Facts: Whatever has been removed elsewhere is just
exactly what I need most at that very instant and if and when I do find
what has been hidden from me it is always, but always, in the very last
place that I look for it. Now what are
the chances of that happening in a universe that has been lined up fair and
square? Huh?
I have more
proof still that the universe has been designed to drive me to distraction by
frustration. Supposedly, I'll get my way half of the time. Right? Nooooo. It never,
but never, ever happens that things go my way 50% of the time because that only
happens in an infinite number of trials. I'm never gonna get my infinite number
of trials because I'm gonna be dead long before that.
Rigged, I
tell you, rigged. It's been built to be
maddening.
Doreen Ellen
Bell-Dotan,