B"H

 

 

THE SHABTAI & MAADIM

EMPLOYMENT COUNSELING SERVICE

 

 

The Shabtai & Maadim Employment Counseling Service is located in the seventh house on Shenkin Street, after turning off Magen David Square.

 

Eleven people are in the anteroom anxiously awaiting sage counsel from Esther bat Mazal, whose reputation for expertise in the occult has spread throughout the Yuppie class in the Gush Dan area from Or Yehuda to Tel Aviv. They are here to consult with Esther bat Mazal, who they are convinced holds the keys to success in the cosmos in her hands.

 

They have all checked their charts carefully before arriving on this most auspicious day. Tonight the moon will be at perigee.

 

Though coming from various walks of life, the eleven of them share one thing in common.  They are all dissatisfied with their lives in general and their chosen careers in particular. I have said that they are Yuppies. Yup. They are all enviably successful by society's standards, but they live with the constant nagging feeling that they are not actualizing themselves fully, not doing what they are truly meant to be doing. Something essential is missing in their upper middle class lives.

 

They are nervous and fidgety, as the dissatisfied with money to spare usually are.  Esther bat Mazal has shrewdly arranged a long display table in the anteroom. She knows that nervous, fidgety fingering is often translated into impulse buying among this set. On the table are Ouiji Boards, books on the occult, books on astrology, crystals, candles, rocks, incense and other chachkes produced and marketed by Pagan Paraphernalia Co., a company with which Shabtai & Maadim is aligned, that is affiliated, and, like Shabtai & Maadim is a subsidiary of the Aquarius Corp. Pagan Paraphernalia Co. is owned and operated by Esther bat Mazal's sister, Noga bat Mazal, who is affectionately known in the innermost orbs, that is circles, of Israeli occultism as Yoga Noga. They mill around the table examining the wares.  The women steal furtive glances in the black mirrors, checking their make-up and hair.

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant flounces into the anteroom and wishes everyone a beautiful day and an absolutely awesome audience with the Mistress of the Occult.  She announces that the client who arrived first may enter Esther bat Mazal's office for the consultation with her.

 

 

Taurus – The Bull

 

A well-dressed, nice looking, if beefy man of about thirty, who has cultured an image of in-your-face unflappable self-assurance, enters the office.  There is more than a slight swagger in his gait.  He is carrying an attaché case, which he holds noticeably too close to him at all times. 

 

Esther bat Mazal is nonchalantly shuffling her Tarot deck.  She puts the cards down when the young man enters and downs a final swig of her Turkish coffee.  She wipes her mouth with the heel of her gnarled hand, being very careful not to scratch her forehead with her two-inch-long red lacquered fingernails. She glances into the coffee cup to see how the dregs have fallen.

 

The young man extends his hand to Esther bat Mazal.  She shakes his hand.  Then she turns her palm upward and points to the center of the pentagram described in it, indicating that he cross it with the requisite 500 NIS, in cash up front.

 

He does so and Esther bat Mazal pops a hard disk into the modem of her crystal ball, taking great care not to chip a nail.

 

"I take it you are a Taurus", Esther bat Mazal states flatly.

 

"Why, yes. Yes I am.", the young man retorts impressed by Esther bat Mazal's perceptivity. 

 

"Yeah, a Taurus. Fulla bull. You can spot 'em from a galaxy away.", Esther thinks to herself with her usual jaded disdain and cynicism.

 

She smiles her most practiced reassuring smile at the young man and asks what he does for a living.  He tells her that he is an insurance broker.  He goes on to explain that he is doing quite well in his profession, but he feels that he is missing his cosmic purpose.

 

"Why, of course!", Esther bat Mazal states most emphatically.  "A Taurus is not intended to be a lowly insurance broker. Oh, no!  That would never satisfy your expansive and noble nature.  You are intended to be a matador!"

 

"A matador?", the you man asks quizzically.

 

"Absolutely! A matador. You see, we actualize ourselves most when we do what we fear most. That is when we burn off the most karma and release the most negative energy from our chakras. As a Taurus you fear very little – except matadors.  Ergo, you must become a matador to conquer your one remaining fear.  You will then become not only wildly economically successful; you will become world-famous and feel at one with everything in the cosmos."

 

"But, I don't think there are many job opportunities for matadors in the Gush Dan area", the young man protests.

 

"Next!" states Esther bat Mazal glancing at her assistant with her "this counseling session is over" glance.  The assistant gently but firmly pushes the young man out of the office, escorts him through the anteroom quickly, thereby assuring that he will not tarry to speak with anyone and bids him a cheery: "Ta ta. It was an incredible experience meeting you" at the door which she hastens to close behind him.

 

The assistant puts on a California-sunny smile and asks:  "Who's next?"

 

 

Virgo –The Virgin

 

A young woman of twenty-seven raises her hand reticently.

 

"Well, speak up, stand up, honey", the assistant chuckles. "We're happy to have you here." 

 

The woman rises from her chair all the while staring at the floor. She is wearing an ecru cotton shirt buttoned to the neck and a rust-colored, shapeless wool skirt that covers her knees. It is barely discernible that she has rather a nice figure. Her sensible shoes are tan. Her mousy brown hair is pulled back into a severe little bun.  Her retro, harlequin-shaped, tortoiseshell glasses hide a rather pretty face with chiseled cheekbones.  She skulks into Eshter bat Mazal's office, her shoulders hunched, her backbone bent.

 

Esther bat Mazal has to control herself to keep one very knowing eyebrow from raising as the young woman walks into her office.  She sizes her up as a Virgo at once.  Woman to woman, she also sees the suppressed sensuality, and resentment, in the young woman.

 

Esther bat Mazal knows this client will willingly pay at the end of the counseling session and so she does not upturn her palm to her at the outset.

 

"You are a Virgo. Yes?", Esther bat Mazal says this as an ice-breaker and in order to impress her client. In no wise is it a necessary inquiry. 

 

"Um, ye, yes, I am. My b…birthday is Sept. 10 1978.  I was born at 20:03."

 

"I see", Esther bat Mazal says, and indeed, she does.

 

"What do you do for a living?", asks Esther bat Mazal.

 

"I, uh, I'm a research biochemist. The work is boring. It's routine.  Getting funding is like pulling teeth.  I'm burning out. My, um, my personal life is a total dud", laments the sad-looking young woman.

 

"Well, I should say, it's no wonder", Esther bat Mazal says.  "You are in nothing like the profession you should be in."

 

"Really?" The young girl looks up, a sparkle of hope in her sad, sad eyes.  "What should I be doing?"

 

"Fashion modeling", Eshter bat Mazal states with finality. "You have all the makings of a super model.  Your innate fashion sense is amazing!  Your ensemble is so artistically thrown together. It looks as though you never gave it a second thought.  The chic comes off so naturally and nonchalantly. And your sense of color arrangement is exquisite", Eshter bat Mazal enthuses. Tel Aviv's most famous medium and employment counselor to young professionals is practiced at keeping a straight face when she's about to bust a gut laughing and swallowing inconspicuously when she feels she's about to gag.

 

The young woman looks up at Esther bat Mazal incredulously. 

"A fashion model?!  Me?!"

 

"Well, haven't you always dreamed of modeling?", Esther bat Mazal asks. The crafty fortune teller knows that every insecure young girl has dreamt of being a model.

 

"Uh, yeah, actually, I have since I was a child", the young woman is embarrassed at having her innermost dreams and fantasies seen so clearly, the ones she dared not hope would ever be actualized. She wonders how Esther bat Mazal can know what her fantasies are.

 

"Come over here, dear. I want to show you something", Esther bat Mazal says. She opens a draw and takes out a portfolio of photos of young models.  One girl is more nubile and alluring than the next. They are all dressed in the fashions of the world's top designers. "All of these girls were once plain Janes. Now they are on a meteoric rise to the top of the modeling profession. Not one of them had anywhere near the natural beauty that you do.  I referred them to the Super Nova Modeling Agency, where they were made over into the elegant beauties that you see in the photographs.  If they were able to make models out of those girls, they'll make a super-model of you.  It just so happens that the Super Nova Modeling Agency is owned and operated by my own sister, Kokhava bat Mazal. For an additional 250 NIS, over and above the basic 500 NIS consultation fee, I will be happy to give her a recommendation about you personally."

 

Thrilled beyond her wildest dreams the plain, and gullible, young woman hands Esther bat Mazal 750 NIS in cash. Esther quickly puts the money into a locked draw where the 500 NIS she received from her last client has already been safely stashed.

 

"Expect to be hearing from my sister shortly", Esther bat Mazal says feigning excitement.  "You will be invited for a make-up, hair, clothing and photo test session. They also arrange modeling assignments upon completion of the course. You, my dear, are on your way to becoming a super-star."

 

The two women thank one another before parting ways. Only one is sincere.

 

 

Pisces – The Fish

 

"It's your turn", Esther bat Mazal's assistant says to the young man sitting in a deep, comfortable chair obviously lost in reverie.  "Huh?  Oh. Yeah. Thank you", he says to her automatically and mindlessly as he becomes aware of his surroundings. He is strikingly handsome, if in a slightly effeminate way. He's wearing a Tommy Hilfiger navy blue suit. On the cuffs of his periwinkle shirt are white gold engraved cufflinks. His hand-woven jacquard Duchamp tie is held with a tie bar that matches the cufflinks. Teal-colored Belvedere Tebes complete the ensemble to perfection. Though he is quite obviously well-to-do, this is not the result of his own industry. He was born rich and the nagging feeling that if it were not for his family's money he would be a ne'er-do-well. He suffers from dysphoria and sees a psychologist regularly. The anti-depressants he takes haven't been helping much lately.

 

The assistant escorts this particular client into Esther bat Mazal's inner sanctum. Esther bat Mazal has an office wherein she receives preferred customers.  It is posh and elegant. She looks up and extends her hand enthusiastically to him. She gives him the

once-over and sizes him up as a Pisces. She also sizes him up as someone who has the kind of credit score that obviates the need to ask for money up front. Esther bat Mazal is very careful not to insult her big fish clients, and this Pisces, she can plainly see, is one. She sashays over to the bar and makes two Chivas Regal 18 on the rocks, one for each of them. "It's not Lagavulin, but it'll do", he thinks to himself and takes the glass extended to him with a polite, but unenthusiastic, "Thank you."

 

"How may I be of assistance to you?", Esther bat Mazal flashes her friendliest smile at him as she settles into the most supportive and comfy ergonomic office chair on the Israeli market.

 

"Well, I don't have to work, but it sure would be nice to feel that I was contributing somehow. I want to feel that I'm making a personal contribution to the world. My family has established a number of charitable funds that I could get in on, but I want to establish something that I will be remembered in perpetuity for having created."

 

"You are a great soul!", Esther bat Mazal states leaning into the well-heeled but insipid young man.

 

"I can see that you are a Pisces."

 

"That is correct. I am."

 

"You should be a Televangelist. You should be a fisher of men!"

 

"A Televangelist?", the young man asks completely puzzled.

 

"Oh, yes! A Televangelist!"

 

"But I'm not Christian", says the young perplexed man.

 

"And you think the famous Televangelists who are making money hand over fist on TV are devout practicing Christians?  Ha!", Esther bat Mazal throws her head back, tousling her long black curls and lets go with an uninhibited laugh. "What they are is people who have enough money and connections to get themselves on TV and from there their careers take off. You too have that.  Plus, as a Pisces you are a natural fisherman."

 

Esther bat Mazal realizes that she is revealing too much of her real self and says to the young man:  "Look, a sensitive soul like you could lend so much to Televangelism.  You wouldn't be like all the others. Oh, no.  You wouldn't be in it just for the money.  You would be doing it as a calling. You would do it with passion, enthusiasm."

 

The words "passion" and "enthusiasm" reverberate in the young man's mind and a stirring of hope rises within him.  He cannot remember the last time he felt enthused about anything, or hopeful for that matter. As for passion: he has long been worrying why he feels none and about how that has been impacting on his private affairs, or rather lack of them.

 

"I can put you in direct touch with the CEO of Mission Impossible Missionaries, Inc.  They will teach you basic New Testament, give you training in psychology and evangelism and then pull the right strings to get you into syndicated television.  What do you say?"

 

"Gee", the young man says, "I didn't know that missionaries and occultists work hand-in-hand."

 

"Well of course we do! We're on the same side. We just approach matters a bit differently is all."

 

"Care for a refill?"

 

The young man nods in agreement and Esther bat Mazal brings him another Chivas 18 on the rocks.

 

The young man is too enchanted with the feelings of hope and enthusiasm that are rising within him for the first time in so very long to be able to see that he is being bamboozled. The expensive booze he's being plied with is working its special magic too.

 

"If you pay for early registration now I can assure you a place in the upcoming semester."

 

"Yes! Please! I'll be happy to pay.  How much is that?"

 

"That will be 500 NIS for the consultation with me and 1,500 NIS early registration fee - in cash please."

 

The young man takes a Forbes Portfolio wallet out of his pocket and counts out 2,000 NIS in 200 NIS notes.

 

"Thank you so very much for coming! It has been an absolute delight working with you", Esther bat Mazal gushes. "You will be receiving your registration form for training at Mission Impossible Missionaries, Inc. in just a very few days."

 

The young man exits the posh office.  Esther bat Mazal controls herself mightily in order not to bust out in a huge guffaw. "Mission Impossible Missionaries, Inc.", she chuckles quietly to herself. "Damn, I'm good. His first mission impossible will be trying to find the place."  She places the 2000 NIS that she has just received in her locked drawer.

 

 

Gemini – The Twins

 

"My turn!", the young woman who was next in line said with singular exuberance bouncing energetically out of her chair. 

 

The assistant escorts her into Esther bat Mazal's ordinary reception room. She was an ordinary client.

 

"How do you do?" the young woman asks sincerely and extends her hand to shake Esther bat Mazal's. Esther wipes her slightly slimy palm on her skirt multi-colored gypsy skirt under the desk and then extends it to meet that of the young woman sitting across from her.

 

"The consultation fee will be 500 NIS in cash", Esther bat Mazal states. She has sized up her present client as a Gemini and knows that a bit of takhlis will not put a damper on her enthusiasm. She can see that though her present client can afford the consultation fee, she will not be able to pay for one of Esther bat Mazal's siblings' special schools. Esther decides, therefore, to make the consultation short.

 

"Hey, no prob!", the young woman answers and opens her purse.  She hands Esther bat Mazal 500 NIS in cash, which quickly disappears into the locked drawer.

 

"How may I be of assistance to you?", Esther bat Mazal asks in a routine tone of voice.  Knowing that her present client has more than her fair share of enthusiasm, Esther sees no reason to exert herself.

 

"I'm, like, working as a sales representative for a make-up company.  I'm doing pretty well, selling foundation, powder, concealer, lipsticks, glosses, blushes, eye shadow…". The young woman might have gone on and on had Esther bat Mazal not made a hand gesture that indicated that she got the idea. "But, like, I want a bigger challenge.  I want to do something that'll be really exciting.  I want to use my Gemini nature.  Ya know?"

 

"Indeed I do know", says Eshter bat Mazal, assuming an air of understanding.

 

"As a Gemini you are best suited to being a double agent or detective. That will allow you to bring the traits of both sides of your character to bear. I envision you being an undercover detective or a Special Agent for the government."

 

"Wow! Now that sounds really exciting!", the young woman exclaimed. "Yeah, that's so, so…me!

 

The young woman went away from Esther bat Mazal's office absolutely delighted with herself and with her employment counselor, who she was convinced is absolutely brilliant.   She never gave a thought to the dangers involved in the advice she had received.  She never considered the fact that professions like the ones Esther bat Mazal had suggested to her require the ability to be secretive, something that was wholly not in keeping with the young woman's effusive character.  For her part, Esther bat Mazal just didn't give a rap about the fact that she had given potentially dangerous advice – yet again.

 

 

Libra – The Scales

 

The next young professional in line to consult with the sagacious and philanthropic fortune hunter, that is fortune teller, is a woman of twenty-nine years old.  She projects an air of likeability but she is really quite the neurotic.  Unable to establish lasting relationships in her personal life due to all of her various neuroses, which demand considerable care and attention, being as they are the products of years of painstaking cultivation, she runs a successful pet grooming and sitting service.  She finds it a good deal easier to relate to the Chow Chows and Persian cats of her upscale clientele than to human beings. She is lonely, though, and wants very much to be able to find a "significant other".

 

Upon entering Esther bat Mazal's consultation room the young woman tells Esther bat Mazal what she does for a living and that she would like a career that puts her more in touch with people. She does not mention the trouble she is having with relationships and the increasing amount of time her various neuroses are demanding of her life. Sitting there she obsesses about whether she arranged all of the bottles of nail polish and matching pastel-colored dyes she uses on her clients' poodles in the right order of the colors of the rainbow before she left work.  Her memory fails her.  One bottle out of place can spell utter disaster. She's worried. Extremely worried.

 

"I'm a…"

 

"Libra", Esther bat Mazal interjects.

 

"That's right!" says the young woman impressed.

 

Esther bat Mazal smiles and says: "I haven't earned my reputation for nothing", but she is thinking: "I wouldn't be worth my salt if I couldn't spot an airhead when I see one."

 

Esther bat Mazal notes the young woman's affability, but also cannily notices that the young woman's fingernails are chewed below the quick.

 

"Well, my dear, as a Libra you are in the entirely wrong profession. Yours is the sign of the scales.  You are born to balance.  You are born to create harmony. You were born, my dear, to be a psychologist."

 

"A psychologist?", asked the young neurotic woman quite confounded.

 

"Oh, yes! Absolutely! Indubitably! You were created for the sole purpose of bringing balance into people's lives."

 

"Are you quite sure?", asked the young woman recalling the string of relationships that crashed on the shoals of her various neuroses.

 

"I would stake my reputation on it!", replied Esther bat Mazal.

 

"Doesn't becoming a psychologist require a good deal of re-schooling and aren't people normally screened quite carefully before entering into the profession?", the young woman asked.

 

"Well", said Esther bat Mazal, "the screening process is not nearly as rigorous as you might think.  We all have our little idiosyncrasies, after all, and what is psychology if not discretion?" 

 

The young woman began to feel a bit more secure about the idea.

 

"As for re-schooling, well, yes, it can be protracted and costly", said Eshter bat Mazal, but it just so happens that my very own sister, Lavana bat Mazal, a eminent clinical psychologist whose reputation rivals my own, has developed a short, intensive course for professionals who want to change careers.”

 

The idea of being a psychologist was very appealing to the young, neurotic woman.  The idea of the imbalance of power in the psychologist-client relationship titillated her.

 

Esther bat Mazal could read the young woman's thoughts.  "If you're interested I can put in a word for you and get you enrolled in the course this upcoming semester."

 

"Yes! I am interested.  It sounds like the perfect new career for me."

 

"Very well", said Esther bat Mazal. "Please give me 500 NIS in cash for this consultation.  The 1,500 NIS deposit and registration fee for the course can be put on your credit card."

 

Without hesitation the young woman forked over 2000 NIS in cash to Esther bat Mazal.

 

"My sister, Lavana bat Mazal's, secretary will be sending you a registration form in a few days.  By that time I will have spoken to my sister about you and I will tell her how impressed I am with you.  You'll be in like Flynn.  Just fill out the registration form and send it back, with any required fees, as soon as possible to insure your slot in the course.  Her institute is very highly respected and very much in demand.  Don't miss this golden opportunity."   

 

With payment for yet another career that could never possibly be in her left hand Esther bat Mazal shook hands with the young woman with the other hand.

 

Esther bat Mazal rose and escorted the neurotic young woman to the door of her office and motioned to her assistant to hustle her on out.

 

Esther's assistant dazzled the young woman with her sunniest smile as she led her through the anteroom and out the door.

 

She turned to the remaining clients in the anteroom and chirped: "Esther bat Mazal is ready for audience with the next in line."

 

 

Aquarius –The Water Bearer

 

The next client scheduled to see Esther bat Mazal on this most auspicious evening is a man of thirty-two.  He is short, already balding and with a bit of a paunch.  His career as a lecturer in mechanical engineering at the Technion affords him a great deal of warm human interaction, positive feed-back (as he is quite a good lecturer) as well as intellectual stimulation; but his ambitious wife nags him constantly to get a better, that is better-paying, job.  Not realizing that she is a small town hick possessed of primitive notions and crude behavior, she thinks that the only thing that stands in her way of being a high society lady is another few thousand shekels per month. She nags her husband to switch careers constantly so that she may have the money she wants rather desperately, which she believes will give her the ability to fill her bottomless pit of desires.

 

The henpecked man enters Esther bat Mazal's office hiking his pants up over his protruding tummy as he walks through the door. It doesn't take someone as shrewd as Esther bat Mazal to size him up as a schlemeil. She notices the wedding band symbolically digging into his chubby, stubby finger and the picture of his marriage becomes clear to her instantly.

 

"How may I help you?", Esther bat Mazal smiles warmly at him projecting unconditional acceptance and feigning appreciation of him as a person.  She knows he needs the emotional support.  She also knows that getting payment out of him at the end of the session will be a piece of cake and so she does not motion to him to pay up front.

 

The man begins to explain to Esther bat Mazal that he is in a quandary. He enjoys his job, but his demanding wife is always pressuring him for more than he can make as a lecturer and he has no choice but to switch careers.  He begins to perspire as he speaks to Esther bat Mazal and takes out a handkerchief to wipe his brow, which he does any number of times throughout the counseling session.

 

Esther bat Mazal begins to speak: "I can see that you are an Aquarius. That means that your ruling planet is Uranus", Esther bat Mazal knows that the man will pick up the slight to his wife in the last sentence and resonate with it.  The astrologer is particularly sensitive to harbored, unexpressed resentment and rage in people and knows that giving them voice garners a great deal of cooperation from them.

 

"Your background affords you many opportunities in hi-tech business", Esther bat Mazal says.  "Many firms would be just delighted to have you on their sales staff."

 

"Sales staff?", the man asks feeling in no wise up to the challenge.

 

"Oh, yes. Absolutely.  Sales.  You are a personable, attractive and dynamic man.  You'd be a terrific salesman.  Clients will be eating out of your hand."

 

The pudgy man who has felt put-down for so long begins to feel a stirring of self-confidence within him. He sucks his gut in and pulls his pants up over it. 

 

"My recommendation to you is to begin a training course in sales at once", Esther bat Mazal says in her most assured tone of voice. "The technical knowledge you already possess will do all the rest for you."

 

"That will be 500 NIS in cash please".

 

The little, round man struggles with his girth a bit as he reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. His stubby fingers do not serve him well and he struggles to get the wallet out. How he wishes at times like this, when he knows he look ridiculous just trying to get his wallet out of his pocket, that he was one of those mesomorph alpha male types. He counts out five one-hundred shekel bills and hands them to Esther bat Mazal. Despite his inferiority complex, he genuinely believes that he is embarking on a new career as a dynamic and charismatic salesman of hi-tech equipment who will have only to show his wares to prospective customers in order to convince them to buy. Esther bat Mazal, a woman whose personality is far more forceful and charismatic than that of his wife, told him so.  It must be true.

 

He departs from Esther bat Mazal's office a very temporarily happier and more self-assured man and five hundred shekels lighter.

 

 

Cancer – The Crab

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant enters the anteroom and finds the next client sitting on the floor, cross-legged, munching home-made, organic granola as she reads the book of astrological charts that she has purchased while waiting her turn. The boy child she is carrying will be born a Leo. She wants to learn everything she can about the astrological sign Leo before the birth.  This book will later be added to the numerous books that she has purchased concerning her unborn child since first discovering that she is pregnant.  This is her first pregnancy and as the child within her grows, so she is being transformed into Mother Earth.

 

She is totally absorbed in reading and is unaware of Ester bat Mazal's assistant's presence.  The assistant puts her hand gently on the young woman's shoulder and cheerily says:  "It's your turn."

 

The young woman smiles, thanks her and gets up rather clumsily holding the kameez she is wearing down so that it covers her bulging belly and angry red stretch marks.  She puts her natural rope sandals back on and waddles into Esther bat Mazal's office, putting a hand to her aching lower back. The pungent smell of patchouli oil fills the space around her.

 

In Esther's office, she flops heavily into a chair sitting as straight as she can to relieve the backache.

 

Esther bat Mazal looks up at the expectant mother-to-be as she enters her office. There isn't the least trace of make-up on her naturally pretty face.  The young woman takes a carved wooden hair clip out of the deep pocket of her sharwal and, with a quick flip of her wrist, twists her thick, shining, waist-length light brown hair up.

 

"Would you like something to drink?", Esther bat Mazal's assistant asks.  The offer and tone of her voice suggest empathetic understanding.

 

"Do you have herbal tea?"

 

"What a question!", the assistant laughs good-naturedly, obviously delighted to serve the client a healthy drink. She takes a large wooden box containing some twenty kinds of herbal tea out of a drawer under the hot water urn.

 

"I'll have the spearmint-cherry with honey if you've got it."

 

"We've got it."

 

"Thanks", the young mother-to-be says genuinely appreciatively. She is often thirsty and she finds that herbal teas keep the heartburn she suffers almost continuously from in check.

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant prepares the tea in a large hand-crafted mug, brings it to the woman smiling then exists the office. She knows it's time for her to leave.

 

"How may I be of assistance to you?", Esther bat Mazal asks.

 

"I live on a successful moshav. We're farmers.  We grow flowers."

 

"Who's "we"?, Esther bat Mazal asks wanting to know if there will be any interference from others.

 

"Oh, my husband and me. My husband is the moshavnik. He was born there. I moved there with him after we married."

 

"A couple of country bumpkins", Esther thinks to herself. "No problems here."

 

 The young woman went on: "I enjoy the work, but since becoming pregnant I find that I want to work with children.  I can't get enough of children." She pronounces the word 'children' as though with a ravenous hunger.  "Not only am I counting the minutes until our own child is born, I want to be surrounded by children."

 

"It's no wonder.  You're a Cancer, that's as clear as night, um, I mean day, and as such your maternal instincts are especially strong.  The fact that you wish to have a career that allows you to express your maternal nature to the fullest shows that you are very self-aware and in tune with nature."

 

"What do you think would be a fitting new career for me?" the woman shifts in her chair. Esther sees that this young woman has absolutely no experience in running her own life.

 

"There is a world of possibilities open to you", Esther bat Mazal states enthusiastically. "How far in school did you go and how far would you like to go?"

 

"I finished high school.  I'd like to learn more, but with the baby coming I don't think I'll have time to learn formally for quite awhile. I read a lot of books about babies and children on my own though."

 

Esther knows she has this client in the center of the pentagram described in the palm of her hand. What could possibly be easier than offering expert career counseling to a latter-day hippy whose dream is to be the Universal Mother?  Timing is everything. The best time to get the maximum out of her is certainly not just before she is about to have her first child. Yet Esther has to justify charging a consultation fee, which she has no intention of waiving. Esther is prepared for this eventuality. She pulls a vocational counseling questionnaire out of her desk drawer and hands it to the young woman.

 

"Here, take this form home and fill it out at your leisure." Esther phrases the statement as though she is already handing the form to the young woman, but she won't actually give it to her until she receives payment for it.  Esther is creating a "done deal" atmosphere in order to make the young woman feel committed to working with her.  She is not handing over something for free.  "When you have a clearer idea of what you want to do and how much time, effort and cost you are willing and able to invest in a new career come back and we will talk in depth about the possibilities available to you in light of your specific aptitudes and interests that the questionnaire will reveal. Ideally, you should wait until you are finished nursing the baby.  Then you can focus on career matters."

 

The young woman likes what appears to her to be Esther bat Mazal's honesty.  She resolves to return to Esther bat Mazal as s0on as she can.

 

"That will be 500 NIS for the consultation and 250 NIS for the vocational aptitude and interest questionnaire please."

 

The young woman hands 75o NIS to Esther bat Mazal, who hands her the questionnaire upon receipt of the cash.

 

"I guess that's about it for our first session", Esther says, her voice promising an ongoing and fruitful working relationship.

 

The young very pregnant woman hoists herself laboriously out of the deep, pillowy chair and promises Esther bat Mazal to be back just as soon as she decides how much vocational retraining she can allow herself. She tells Esther that she'll talk to her husband about their consultation session, but also mentions that's he's a really easygoing guy and will support her decisions whatever they may be.

 

Esther didn't anticipate any problems from the woman's young husband, who, no doubt, is every bit the hippy flake she is, but hearing that he's "easygoing" is a welcome reassurance.

 

Esther watches her waddle out of the office. She covers her nose and mouth with her hand.  She hates the smell of patchouli. "Why can't she just use deodorant?" Esther thinks to herself.

 

Esther bat Mazal shakes her black, curly mane.  It never ceases to amuse her how gullible people are. She has just earned 750 NIS for absolutely nothing. 

 

 

Aries – The Ram

 

The next client scheduled to consult with Esther bat Mazal is a dynamic, energetic man of thirty. He is the golden boy of the management at his place of work, a large branch of one of Israel's largest banks. He rose to the position of Assistant Manager of the branch within a short time after completing two years of additional duty in the army, which he voluntarily signed up for, having been a model soldier in a special unit who progressed rapidly through the ranks. Handsome and charismatic, his romantic life is also very busy.  He is adored by the women at work and has his pick of a bevy of beauties to enjoy his off time with. Yet, he is not entirely happy.  The feeling that he is missing something, something substantive, gnaws away at him when he is not busy.  He tries to keep himself busy at all times in order to avoid this feeling.  He is both a workaholic and an addict to sensual pleasures.  The inevitable free moment does occur, however, and then he is assailed with those feelings of emptiness and meaninglessness that he tries so very desperately to avoid.

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant goes gooey-eyed when she tells him that his turn for counseling has come. She walks just a bit too close to him as she escorts him into her employer's office. He enters Esther bat Mazal's office. His posture is perfect and he squares his shoulders without having to think about it.  His pelvis is tilted to one side suggestively when he stands. Esther bat Mazal sizes him up immediately.  She smiles her best coquettish smile at him, knowing that he has come to expect women to exert themselves to seek his approving attention.

 

"Let's go into my other office.  It's more…intimate", Esther bat Mazal says leaning forward a bit so that her cleavage becomes more visible. She couldn't care less about this man romantically; all she sees when she looks at him is money bags.

 

"Please follow me." Esther bat Mazal leads the man into her office for VIP customers, with an exaggerated wiggle in her walk.

 

Esther bat Mazal's put-on works like a charm, of course.  It should work.  It's been rehearsed and performed more than Kabuki. Esther bat Mazal's client basks in the misguided self-satisfaction of thinking that he "slew" yet another female. He doesn't begin to suspect that he is the one being prepared for slaughter.

 

"What can I get you to drink?", Esther bat Mazal's voice is throaty but just a bit too hoarse from the many cigarettes she smokes every day. 

 

"777 will be fine", the charismatic man answers. "Rémy would be better", he continues, not believing for a moment that she has it in stock.

 

"666 is my personal favorite", Esther bat Mazal laughs as though she's simply delighted by the humor, but the twinkle in her eyes betrays the fact that she was serious – dead serious.  She clears her throat and resumes a straight face hoping she hasn't given away too much information.

 

Smiling, Esther bat Mazal opens the handcrafted Afzelia doors of her liquor closet. She takes out a large snifter and sensuously warms it with her hands close to her ample bosom. The executive tries to hide his surprise at seeing Esther bat Mazal take a bottle of Rémy Martin V.S.O.P. out of her liquor closet.  He decides that she is a woman of fine and cultured taste.  She pours a generous amount of it into the snifter and hands it to the smolderingly handsome man, whose only appeal that has any affect on Esther bat Mazal is his financial appeal. He is sitting in the most comfortable chair in the office, one leg crossed nonchalantly over the other. Esther bat Mazal takes care to lean over as far as possible when she hands him the snifter. "I hope this will be alright", Esther bat Mazal says.  The young man goes along with the prestige game and answers, "It's just fine. Thanks." She then pours herself a shot too. 

 

Having served him the flagship Cognac of the finest in the world, this client is already in debt to her, already in the palm of her hand. There is no reason whatsoever to be so tacky as to indicate the midpoint in the pentagram in her palm to him.

 

"Now, how may I be of service to you?", there is a hint of suggestion in Esther bat Mazal's husky voice and the crooked smile she allows to steal across her full, crimson lips.

 

"I've succeeded so easily in both the army and in banking that I'm bored", the man says. "I'm looking for some sort of enterprise of my own that will present a real challenge to me – something that will make me bring the full force of my abilities to bear."

 

"I see.", Esther bat Mazal states.

 

"I see that you are an Aries. Correct?", the question is rhetorical, of course, Esther bat Mazal only asks her clients what their astrological sign is in order to impress them with her ability to read people.

 

"Yes. Yes, I am", the man answers.  He is impressed with Esther bat Mazal. Not only does she have cultured, and expensive, tastes she is obviously very good at what she does.  As an accomplished man, he respects that in another person.

 

"Well, as an Aries it is no wonder that you succeed brilliantly at whatever you decide to do.  You are preternaturally gifted." Esther bat Mazal is playing his ego like a fiddle. "But that doesn't mean that everything you do well will afford deep and prolonged satisfaction. To attain that you will have to make a career of that which you are most in tune with on the astral level of your being, as well as on the physical and intellectual levels.  Then all of your levels of being will come to serve you and you will become an extremely powerful, as well as profoundly fulfilled, man."

 

The junior executive's attention is now riveted.  He has always thought that the key to his being totally fulfilled is becoming as powerful and influential as he can.  As a matter of course, powerful and influential people have an unlimited choice of bed partners at their disposal.

 

"You shouldn't be working for someone else", Esther bat Mazal declares emphatically. "You're much too dynamic, much too intelligent and much too talented.  The full spectrum of your abilities has not even been discovered! You have succeeded brilliantly in frameworks that involved following suit and taking orders from others. You should, however be an independent. You have everything it takes to become a fabulously successful and wealthy entrepreneur."

 

The young man likes what he is hearing – a lot.  He's going for Esther bat Mazal's spiel hook, line and sinker. She has used this line more times than she can recall. It never fails her. Dazzled by the flattery, he doesn't reflect for the slightest moment on the fact that he has always been successful under the tutelage of someone else, or within a defined framework, or that that might serve as an indication and warning that he is really not cut out to go it alone.

 

"Sounds terrific!", the young man states enthusiastically, "but I'm not at all sure about how to go about going into business for myself, or even what business I should be going into."

 

"Well, that is why you're here! Is it not?", Esther bat Mazal asks another one of the rhetorical questions in her repertoire.

 

"It just so happens that my own brother, Shavit ben Shemesh, runs a school of management for executives who wish to become independents.  It is fully certified and is guaranteed to teach you everything you need to know to start your own business. With the extensive background you already have in management, you can take the most advanced course. Within a year you will be in a position to undertake a start-up business in just about any field that interests you.  Are you interested?  Decide quickly.  The next semester is due to begin in just a couple of weeks.  I'm not sure there are still places available, but if I put in a word for you personally I'm sure I can get you in. I'm very impressed with you.  I'll certainly relay that to my brother." 

 

"Yes!  Yes, it sounds perfect for me", for the first time in a quite a while the executive feels excited about something, feels challenged.

 

"Very well, then", Esther bat Mazal says.  "That will be 500 NIS for the basic counseling session and, in order to insure your place at the Shavit ben Shemesh School of Business Management, it is highly recommended that you pay the full registration fee of 500 NIS and a 10% deposit on tuition, which amounts to 2000 NIS, for the year.  You will be billed for the remaining 90% at the beginning of the course, which you can pay in installments."

 

The young bank executive takes out his wallet, in which the bills are meticulously folded in half and arranged in order of increasing denomination. Those who advised him to seek the sage counsel of the preternaturally talented astrologist and career counselor, Esther bat Mazal, told him that he will be asked to pay in cash and that the counseling service won't be cheap but will be worth every agorah. The executive has the cash at the ready.  He counts out 3000 NIS in cash, recounts it, and hands it to Esther bat Mazal.

 

Esther bat Mazal extends her hand to him. She holds his hand just a second too long and it seems to the executive that she has given his hand a very slight tug toward her. Was it an invitation to kiss her? He is not sure and decides not to take the chance of being too forward with her.  He decides to cultivate an intimate relationship with her sometime in the future, when he will require further assistance from her.

 

He is led out of  Esther bat Mazal's office by her assistant who is so excited by the handsome executive that she is trembling.

 

Esther bat Mazal tries very hard to stifle a laugh as he leaves. She types the highlights of their meeting on the keyboard of her crystal ball, as she is wont to do after every counseling session.

 

When she finishes, she puts her finger on the bell that signals her assistant to escort the next client into her regular office.

 

Sagittarius – Archer

 

Esther bat Mazal felt more than just a twinge of threat the instant she laid eyes on the next client that her assistant ushered into her office. She controlled her facial muscles so as not to narrow her eyes in a hateful stare nor allow herself to frown.

 

Esther bat Mazal sized her present client up as a Sagittarius in a trice. The very existence of a young, attractive woman who is of a naturally genuine religious, philosophical and high-minded bent is a negation of all that Esther bat Mazal is. Esther bat Mazal's survival instincts told her: "Eradicate!"

 

She smiled at the young woman and told her to make herself comfortable. Her intentions were to maneuver her into a trusting and vulnerable position – the better to set her up for the psychological kill.

 

Esther bat Mazal asked her for the 500 NIS consultation fee up front and in cash. Just on the off chance that the young woman might be perceptive enough to suss Esther bat Mazal out, she wanted to have her money in hand if the young woman walked out in a huff. The young, lovely woman happily obliged.

 

"How can I help you?", Esther bat Mazal asked, but meaning: "What are your weak spots and insecurities?"

 

The young woman told her that she is currently a lecturer in the English department at a local college, but she is considering returning to university in order to do a PhD in Philosophy or Comparative Religion.

 

"What are your objectives?", Esther bat Mazal asked, anticipating what the answer would be.

 

"I want to encourage young people to strive to find the ultimate truths!", the young, idealistic woman responded immediately and effusively. "I want them to find the wellspring from which every system of ethics derives! I want to encourage them and to provide them with the skills to do so!  I want to teach them skills of critical analysis.  I want to encourage them to be the best moralists and intellectuals they can be!", the young woman waxed ecstatic.

 

Esther bat Mazal's stomach was roiling, both with disgust and with trepidation.  Her worst suspicions about this woman's character had been proven correct. Esther bat Mazal was nothing if not a crackerjack judge of character.

 

"I must discourage her", Esther bat Mazal thought to herself.  "I must torpedo her self-confidence. By the time this woman leaves my office her entire orientation will be undermined.  We can't have people like this proliferating in society."

 

Esther bat Mazal realized she wouldn't get anything beyond the basic 500 NIS consultation fee from this client.  She was willing to forgo the money. It was worth the sacrifice.  One person like this in a teaching position could cause her to lose untold hundreds of thousands. 

 

Esther bat Mazal leaned over and put her hand on the young woman's arm in a dysfunctional motherly way: warmly, yet at once condescendingly and as if protecting her from her wayward and deluded self.  She began to speak to the young woman:  "My dear young woman, don’t you think it's a bit arrogant of you to think that you can impact on others' lives?  What right do you think you have to determine what the best that someone can be is?  It's nervy and intrusive.  People have the right to decide what's best for themselves." 

 

Esther bat Mazal gazed into the young woman's face and saw her resolve begin to slip away. The young woman's vision of a better world was obviously becoming hazy.

 

Esther bat Mazal continued:  "Besides, your employment prospects as a lecturer of Philosophy or Theology are virtually nil.  Do you have any idea how many starving philosophers and theologians there are? Lots of graduates of Harvard Divinity School are unemployed.  Do you imagine that you're more  valuable on the market than people who graduated from Harvard?" The young woman's upper lip trembled and she gazed downward feeling suddenly ashamed and inadequate.

 

For her tour de force, Esther bat Mazal delivered:  "Besides which, who is philosophically-minded nowadays?  Who cares about abstract ponderings on the meaning of life?  You're out of sync with the times! This is the era of productive activity, not wishful thinking.  Why should productive people, who work hard for their living, support parasites that do nothing all day long but contemplate what will never be?  This isn't the Middle Ages. Get real!" When Esther bat Mazal saw the lovely young woman's shoulders hunch and sag and the crestfallen expression on her sweet face, she knew she had succeeded in compounding the feelings of shame and inadequacy that she had already instilled in the young woman with a feeling of hopelessness.  Esther bat Mazal knew she was victorious – once again.  She had prevented yet another truth-seeker from wrecking her world and putting a damper on her business.

 

Esther bat Mazal knew that for the sake of her reputation she had better allow the young woman to go away with some positive feelings.

 

She put her fingers under the heartbroken young woman's chin as if to encourage and restore her faith, just a bit. "If you want to make the world a better place you might consider becoming a journalist.  Your English language skills, which are no doubt impeccable, will serve you well and you will have ample opportunity to expose corruption and highlight good that is being done in the world.  Being a journalist is really a very high and noble calling."

 

The young woman raised her head.  Esther bat Mazal saw that she liked the idea.  Esther bat Mazal was also quite sure that the young woman was not aware that she was being thrown to the wolves and so she decided that a ruse to get more money out of her would work.

 

"Does the idea of journalism appeal to you? It's a very exciting profession involving travel, hobnobbing with intellectuals, interviewing the who's who, and always having one's finger on the pulse of the latest events. And you, young woman, have all of the qualifications to get accepted into a highly respected school of journalism."

 

"Oh my, yes! It does sound so very appealing!", the ingenuous young woman exclaimed, wondering how to begin looking into journalism schools, just what the qualifications to get accepted are, what the cost involved is, what kind of journalism best suited her…

 

"You know, my brother, Sahar ben Ariyeh, runs the best school for journalism in the country", Esther bat Mazal stated.

 

The young woman looked at her, eyebrows raised.

 

"Really?"

 

"Yep. There's no reason to run yourself ragged looking into journalism schools. I assure you, you possess all of the qualifications to get accepted. I think you're absolutely precious and will put in a good word with my brother so that costs are kept to the absolute minimum. His staff of counselors will guide you as to what kind of journalism you're best suited for during your course of study."

 

"Oh, I'm so excited!  Esther bat Mazal, you are even more wonderful than I heard!" 

 

"I'm just doing my job, dear. I want to help people, just like you. If you'll be so kind as to pay me a 1000 NIS deposit fee, I will call my brother and put in a special word for you."

 

The young woman took the money out of her purse, counted it and put it into Esther bat Mazal's hand.

 

"That's it, then.  We've concluded business", Esther bat Mazal said smiling her best 'you can count on me' smile. "You'll be receiving an application from the Sahar ben Ariyeh Accredited School of Journalism within a week, but it's just a formality to fill out the form and attach the recommendations in your case.  You're as good as in."

 

The young woman flung her arms around Esther bat Mazal and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  "Thank you!  Thank you so much!"

 

Esther bat Mazal put her hand around the young woman's waist and led her to the door of her office.  She opened the door and gave her assistant her "get rid of her" look behind the young woman's back.

 

Sahar ben Ariyeh is Lavana bat Mazal's twin brother.  Esther made a mental note to inform Sahar to apply as much psychological pressure on this young woman as possible.  Later, when the young woman would, no doubt, begin to show signs of extreme emotional distress, they would refer her to the psychological counseling of Lavana bat Mazal, whose job it was to see to it that she, and other idealists like her, never had the fortitude and self-confidence required to better the world.

 

Esther bat Mazal sighed a sigh of relief.  People like that could really do damage if they aren't controlled. Luckily, Esther bat Mazal had her family behind her to back her up when such eventualities arose, as they did – entirely too often for Esther bat Mazal's taste.

 

 

Capricorn – Goat

 

The next client scheduled to see Esther bat Mazal is a social worker. She, like the client before her, also wishes to be of service to the utmost degree that she is able. Unlike the Sagittarius before her, this client is a Capricorn, and Esther bat Mazal will relate to her very differently than she did to the otherworldly and noble Sagittarius. Esther bat Mazal knows her current client's motives for doing the most she can for others derive ultimately from her desire to be the best and get recognition for it. Hardly the pure-of-heart-and-intentions altruist, this tough cookie intends to get to the top and has no compunctions about locking horns if that is what it takes to get where she wants to be.

 

Esther bat Mazal doesn't feel the slightest twinge of threat or apprehension when this client enters her office. She sizes her up as a Capricorn immediately, and knows that her client has already done half of her work for her. Esther bat Mazal feels comfortable with "do gooders" like this one. All that will be required of Esther bat Mazal is giving a rubber stamp to the career decisions the woman sitting in her office has already made.  Esther bat Mazal knows that it is futile to argue with a Capricorn.  They simply become ornery and dig in their heels.  No, Esther bat Mazal will do nothing more than hand out a few endorsements to this client.  That's little enough to do for 500 NIS.

 

"This consultation will be 500 NIS please", Esther bat Mazal says sweetly, but firmly. 

 

The Capricorn sitting across from Esther bat Mazal frowns, annoyed by the fact that she is being asked to pay in advance. Esther bat Mazal does not relent.  She is letting her current client know that she's not a pushover.

 

"I ask all of my clients for payment in advance", Esther bat Mazal lies, "that way the counseling session can proceed without interruption."

 

The client has five one-hundred shekel bills, but instead counts out ten fifty shekel bills.  She is being ornery. Esther bat Mazal couldn't care less.  Cash is cash.

 

"What can I do for you?", Esther asks in her most upbeat tone of voice, changing the atmosphere in the office.

 

"I'm a social worker, but I don't think that my chosen profession affords enough career advancement. I want to be of service to my community, but I also want a job with some prestige and perks."

 

"How did I guess she was going to say something like that?", Esther bat Mazal thinks to herself, bored.

 

"You are a Capricorn. Yes?"

 

"Yes, I am", the client shows little surprise; neither does she seem impressed that Esther bat Mazal knows her sign.  She too sizes her clients' needs up in short shrift when they come to her for counseling.

 

"I wouldn't recommend a change of career in your case at all.  Social workers wield tremendous power in the community.  Think of how many influential professionals are dependent upon you:  judges, lawyers, physicians including psychiatrists. Social workers counsel soldiers. Prisoners cannot be discharged without your say-so. Families in distress turn to you for help. You are the savior, the very savior of children at risk!  Why, your every decision is life-determining, not less than life-determining!", Esther bat Mazal feigns admiration to the point of suppressing gagging. "The sky's the limit in your profession!  Think of the power and prestige of being a regional Child Welfare Officer!  Think of the glory, yes, the glory, not to mention the prestige and perks of having a doctorate in Social Work and teaching at a university. You made a very wise decision when you became social workers.  You can realize your every dream and ambition in your chosen profession, your every dream and ambition."

 

"You're right", Esther bat Mazal's client says flatly.  She rises from her chair and exists Esther bat Mazal's office.  She proffers no thanks.  Why should she?  She got what she wanted and paid for it too.

 

For her part, Esther bat Mazal is 500 NIS richer. A warm feeling of confidence and security spreads over her as this client leaves.  She knows social workers need to believe they are doing critical, self-sacrificing community work, but in reality they serve mostly themselves and the professions that are dependent upon their reports.  Any good this woman might do for the community will be buried under a mountain of ego, scrambling and competing to get to the top of the profession and paperwork.

 

 

Leo – Lion

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant entered the anteroom.  There sat the last client.  "It's your turn", she said in a singsong tone hoping that it wasn't too obvious that she was enthralled by the feral animal magnetism of this last client.  It was obvious, all too obvious. But then, he was used to it and magnanimous of nature. So, he took it with good humor mixed with pride.

 

Esther bat Mazal's assistant escorted him into her employer's office.

 

Upon laying eyes on him, Esther bat Mazal saw that he was a Leo at once.  She responded instinctively to him, feeling every bit the woman in his larger-than-life presence. She felt her pulse quicken and her heart begin to pound.

 

He smiled at Esther bat Mazal, feeling her attraction to him.  He ran his hand slowly, sensually through his lustrous mane of wavy, honey-colored hair.  His golden goatee was immaculately manicured and made his ruggedly handsome face look deliciously and irresistibly dangerous.  His almond-shaped, hazel eyes were piercing, mesmerizing. He deliberately and pointedly allowed his eyes to run up and down Esther bat Mazal's body. He was accustomed to having women at his beck and call when he did this, believing that he found them irresistibly attractive.  He did not take into account that Esther bat Mazal's had studied the temperaments and behaviors of all of the astrological signs and knew exactly what to expect from each.  She knew the Leos' techniques well – and used them herself whenever necessary. In fact, she was using them on him now.

 

"How can I be of service to you?", Esther bat Mazal asked her client suggestively.

 

"I own and operate a successful electronics chain.  I'm making good money. I'm respected.  Everything is going great, but I…I…OK, I'll say it, I need to feel adored.  I love to be the center of attention and I'm just not getting those needs satisfied in my line of work." The charismatic man was surprised that he had blurted out his feelings so frankly, but, after all, he had come here for career counseling and if he was not honest he wouldn't get what he had come for.

 

"Well, of course.  It's completely understandable.", Esther bat Mazal purred.  You, as a Leo, are larger than life. You're handsome, intelligent, ambitious, charming, magnanimous and more. You've got the whole package! Is it any wonder that you want to be appreciated for that? Of course not!  You should be an actor."

 

"An actor?", the lion-man considered the idea, trying it on for size in his mind's eye.

 

"Without a doubt! Everything about you simply demands that you become a thespian. Just imagine yourself on stage, having delivered a brilliant performance.  The crowd is going wild, absolutely wild with adoration.  They stand in unison and give you an ovation. They are overcome with idolization of you.  You stand there in the spotlight, center stage, and absorb the waves of love from the crowd.  Bravo!  Bravo!" Esther bat Mazal was being a bit histrionic herself, as she is wont to be when diddling her clients.

 

"Yes! Yes! I can see it!  You're so right, Esther bat Mazal. It's so me!", Esther bat Mazal's last client of the evening exclaimed, carried away with the vision she was placing in his mind.  He was easily led when his ego was stroked.

 

"It so happens that my own sister, Kokhava bat Mazal, the owner and operator of the Super Nova Modeling Agency, also owns and runs the Super Nova Acting School. She is single-handedly responsible for launching the careers of some of Israel's most famous actors and actresses.  You've heard, of course, of Yoram H…"

 

"You mean Yoram H…?"

 

"Shhhh.  Don't say it.  Yes. Yes. My sister is responsible for launching his career."

 

"And you've heard, surely, of Alon A…"

 

"Wow!  You mean the Alon A…?"

 

"Shhh. Don't say it. Yes. Yes.  He owes everything he is today to my sister Kokhava bat Mazal."

 

"Your sister must be very busy running both a modeling agency and an acting school". The statement was one of appreciation. He too prided himself on his ability to stay cool while multi-tasking.

 

"Our Kokhavaleh? She's high-energy all right.  She also owns and operates a dance school – The Bossa Nova Dance School.

 

"Really? That's awesome! She choreographs all that! I'm really impressed!"

 

"Can you keep a secret?", Esther bat Mazal asked.

 

"Of course."

 

"Shhh. Now this is just between you and me. A séance has revealed that our Kokhavaleh is a reincarnation of Thespis of Icaria and…and her personal muse is none other than Terpsichore herself, the mother of the Sirens."

 

"Amazing! Can you get me into your sister's school?  I mean…I hope I don't sound too chutzpadik asking.  It's just that I think this is just the career for me."

 

"You mean you'd like me to put in a special word to my sister about you?"

 

"If you would I'd be ever so appreciative", the young man smiled his most charming smile, the smile that's disarmed more women than he can recall.

 

"Well, it's really quite exclusive…", Esther bat Mazal let her voice trail off.

 

"Well, that's just what I want!  The best!  I give my all and I want the best!", the Leo roared.

 

"I believe in you", Esther bat Mazal shook her head feigning having been convinced. "But the rates at the school are in proportion to its prestige.  I have to make that perfectly clear."

 

"Hey, money is no object when I'm the subject", Leo chortled mightily at his joke, so mightily that he didn't notice that Esther was not laughing with him. "I want what I want and I'm willing to pay for it. How much?", he demanded to pay.

 

"Well, first of all, the basic 500 NIS for the consultation fee, of course.  I can assure you an opening at the school sometime in the future if you pay the pre-registration fee and a deposit totaling 2000 NIS now, but I can't say when." 

 

"No, no.  I want in and I want in quick."

 

"Ah. I can get you in for the next semester if you'll pay the pre-registration fee and a deposit of 2000 NIS plus a down payment on the tuition for the first semester.  That will be an additional 1000 NIS.  Yes, for a mere 3000 NIS, over and above the 500 NIS consultation fee, I can guarantee you an opening for the next semester at my sister's exclusive drama school."

 

"It's a done deal then!", the lion roared his approval. Esther's excited and determined client unhesitatingly pulled 3500 NIS out of his wallet and handed it to her.

 

She counted the money and said:  "You're in!"

 

"GRRREAT!", he responded.

 

"You'll be hearing from the Super Nova Acting School within two weeks. I guess that's it then. We've concluded business.  It has been absolutely delightful working with you." Esther bat Mazal smiled her most alluring and appreciating smile at him. 

 

She extended her hand to him. He pumped it vigorously, obviously overcome with excitement and strode out of her office.

 

Esther bat Mazal shook her head and suppressed a laugh.  "How easy the ones with the biggest egos and need for love are to dupe", she mused.

 

 

Scorpio – The Scorpion

 

As the last of her well-heeled clients left, Esther bat Mazal leaned back in her chair and stretched catlike. A self-satisfied smirk spread across her crimson lips waxy with layers of lipstick. She had done well this evening – yet again. She takes the disk containing the information about her clients and her impressions of what their weaknesses are, which she entered after each left her office and before the next client was ushered in by her assistant, out of the modem of her crystal ball.  Esther bat Mazal always keeps the weaknesses of her clients and a record of the empty promises she has made to them of personal record. So many fools come to consult with her.  It is difficult to remember all of their Achilles' heels, all of the manipulations she has used on them and all of the promises they await to come to fruition that never will.  Esther bat Mazal prepares a label for the disk. She writes the date on it and puts the disk away with the many others in a compartment of her safe, which is built into the floor and hidden under the extravagantly expensive, hand knotted Persian silk carpet on the floor of the reception room for VIP clients. The disks are in strict chronological order.  The interviews have been recorded, unbeknownst to the clients, of course.  The mini voice tape is likewise dated and placed in careful chronological order in the safe. There is no need for further identifying labeling of the tapes and disks.  That would be risky. Esther bat Mazal relies upon her uncanny ability to remember details in accordance with the astrological charts of days.

 

She counts the money she has raked in this evening - 15,500 shekels. "Not a bad take for one evening's work", she thinks as satisfied with the outcome as someone as greedy and narcissistic as Esther bat Mazal is capable of being.  Not a bad take at all.  Schemes of how to do still better the next time are already dancing a fevered, demonic dance in her imagination.

 

She looks out of the open window.  The sky is clear, the Tel Aviv night air balmy.  Getting up, she stands at the window and looks up at the full moon and the many stars that can be seen tonight.  Esther bat Mazal was born into a family with a long tradition of knowledge of the occult, cunning insight into human nature and they passed down the tradition of earning one's living by insinuating oneself into the pockets of the gullible and the Souls who lost their way from one generation to the next.  She offers a silent tribute to her mother, Mazal bat Fortuna, and to her father, Shemesh ben Shabtai, who instilled the sordid family tradition in their children with painstaking care before becoming one with the elements and passing on to another astral plane. She recalls her maternal grandparents, Fortuna bat Esther, after whose mother she is named and Shabtai ben Ariyeh, the afflatus for the name of her counseling service, with reverence and deep gratitude. They taught her every underhanded trick and scam in the book. Appropriate veneration is their just due. If only her paternal grandparents hadn't died an unnatural, early death.  What deliciously demonic secrets they could have conferred upon her. She can only but imagine. Their powers of magik were legends in their time. Esther bat Mazal shivers thinking that their house burst into flames one day in an instance of what appeared to be spontaneous combustion.  She is frightened of that image and forces it out of her mind.  The thought returns, though, often and with compelling intensity.

 

The vision of a beautiful little boy with dark curls and large, black, luminous eyes also returns to Esther's mind. She sees him as he was when he was healthy and strong, smiling with love and trust. He would run to the people that he loved as fast as he could, his arms spread wide open, wanting a hug, a kiss and to be picked up.  His parents used to admonish him for being so "open" and "demonstrative".  Sometimes they would hit him when he whimpered wanting nothing more than a gentle caress and assurance.  Lavana and Sahar were not the only set of twins born to Mazal bat Fortuna and Shemesh ben Shabtai.  Esther too was one of twins.  Her brother's name was Tzedek and as a child she loved him above all.  Tzedek was unwanted and disdained in Esther's home.  There was no place for Tzedek in her family's home.  Esther alone loved him.  Her happiest days were spent romping with him.  She felt the sharp sting of her family's disapproval when she did so, but she didn't care. Tzedek died when he was five years old.  They called it "Failure to Thrive" syndrome.  Esther knew he died because he was not loved or wanted except by her. Her love alone was not enough to make him want to stay in this world. Even in dying he wanted only to do something that would make his parents happy.  He went away. The day that Tzedek died Esther resolved never to love anyone ever again.

 

Esther bat Mazal comforts herself remembering that of all of her parents' children she was their most apt pupil, learning every occult secret they knew to teach her eagerly, and of all of her parents' children she was the favorite.

 

Despite the fear of coming to the end that her paternal grandparents came to, Esther bat Mazal thanks the lucky stars she was born under every night.  She is the undisputed craftiest and most successful of the children born to Mazal bat Fortuna and Shemesh ben Shabtai and they respect her for it, even if their respect is tinged with a bit of jealousy. They are aware that a good deal of their income is generated by the talents of their sister Esther, and they do not anger or distance her. After all, who is better at sting operations than a Scorpio?

 

A pall fell over the office. Esther looked up to see the familiar form standing in her doorway. Not a vestige was left of the sunny California smile, youthful compliance or the chipper singsong. Her eyes were lifeless and humorless. Her voice was cold as the grave: "You've done an excellent job as usual, Esther. As usual the money is yours.  Just make sure you deliver their Souls into my hand."

 

Esther nods indicating understanding, agreement and utter submission.

 

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat

[email protected]

2005

 

 

 

 

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1