QUEEN DOREEN OF THE LAPUTANS MANQUE

I neglected to mention that I'm the Queen of the Laputans Manque – 

of course, as Queen of the Laputans Manque I neglect to do just about everything.

I so wanted to be Queen Doreen of Southern Ireland. It seemed quite

fitting, until I realized that I can't so much as afford a flat in a

decent neighborhood in Dublin and a Queen, after all, is expected to

live in a decent flat in most countries.

I realized that even the Irish on their drunkest and foggiest days

would expect me to make some reasoned decisions and adhere to a

predictable code of behavior - an expectation I could not live up

to, especially when I go into one of my blue funks.

Crestfallen, I had to admit that I wasn't right for the job.

Then, as randomness would have it, I met Richard May on line. He

introduced himself as the Founder of the Laputans Manque.

It sounded absolutely ideal! I could be a schlemeil and not feel my

life was being squandered. In fact, I could reign as Schlemeil

Supreme. It was so Me.

I entreated and pleaded and generally nudged him to let me be the

Queen of the Laputans Manque.

I explained to him that I am eminently suited for the job being as

for all my ruminations, I can't so much as remember what it was I go

to the grocery store for.

He asked me to promise that I wouldn't impose anarchy on Laputa.

That would be entirely too orderly.

I swore solemnly.

And so, I was coronated Queen Doreen of the Laputans Manque, and

nary a more fitting Queen they could hope to find.

Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan, Tzfat, Israel

[email protected]