Now that marriage among gays is becoming legal in country after
country, Polyamorists wish to get on the bandwagon too. Recently a civil
marriage was performed for a man and the two women he loves in the
As a BiPoly this subject is near and
dear to my heart.
The irony of the
insistence on the part of gays and Polyamorists to marry never ceases to amaze
me (read that causes me chagrin).
Marriage has proven itself to be an untenable institution that
causes widespread misery.
Why emulate it? Why perpetuate it?
Evidently, gays and Polyamorists are stuck in the mindset that
only marriage is official, lawful, a total commitment, stable and fully
recognized by society. Is there a tinge of seeking religious sanction for their
relationships as well?
That the Polyamorous wish to express
the establishment of their relationships somehow officially can be understood. But why marriage?
I think an adaptation of the old Celtic institution Hand Fasting
makes far more sense than marriage for everyone, not only gays and the Polyamorous, i.e., renewable vows to remain together for as
long as love lasts. The children of
dissolved alliances are not considered "kids of broken homes" or
regarded as disadvantaged socially in any way. Neither should the children of people who no
longer wish to be partners be disadvantaged economically. Clearly, a society in which there is common
wealth would preclude the possibility that children of dissolved relationships
would suffer economically.
Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan,