They asked me if I exercise. Hell no!
I don't believe in exorcism. I don't believe for one single, solitary minute
that putting myself through a regular ordeal is going to rid me of my demons.
They asked me if I play an
instrument. And how I do! I play the strumpet. Quite the virtuosita I am too!
The root of evil lies not in the
committing of base acts, but rather in the attempt to apprehend the sublime on
the part of those not morally prepared to do so.
When people ask me what I do for a
living I tell them that I'm a vampire. When they look at me oddly or laugh I
ask: "If I told you that I'm a banker, lawyer or psychiatrist would I be a
more respectable species of bloodsucker in your estimation?
Nobody bothered to ask how I am
today, but had someone I just might have told the truth. My health is failing. My stamina is so low
that it lies as a stagnant pool around my swollen ankles. My self-respect is probably buried somewhere
under the floor tiles, but I have neither the strength nor the will to conduct
an extensive dig for it. My sense of humor is in a coma. My libido is in an advanced state of rigor
mortis.
Oh, and did I neglect to mention that
my wit is dimming?
You're only as good as the last book
you've written.
Mama said there'd be aeons like this.
Bisexuals are the Blacks of
the Rainbow community.
I got dem ol' kozmik dis whole floating
world ain't nothin' but a Kabuki stage blues again, Mama.
"...a Saturday night day."
(This was a typo. It was meant to be
Saturday night date.)
Doreen looks around for the
nearest Calabi-Yau space to hide in in shame, hoping never to emerge. I'll take
the Klein bottle with me. I think I need a drink.
Doreen shimmies out of her geek
trying to do funny outfit and, donning her serious social contemplator get-up, queries____________________
Morphology – Sentience structure
Cutting into the Gender Bias – Men
who sew are tailors, whereas women who sew are seamstresses. In a relationship,
closeness suits her just fine. He feels
hemmed in.
I'm not bigoted, but I can't stand
people of PDF extraction. They're weird.
They live in adobes. Most of the time
they don't work and when they do they work as acrobats.
It's not fair! Any position that
missionaries have sex in would, by definition, be "The Missionary
Position". For the rest of us it's only man on top. :0(
This new reducing diet is really
working! I'm not losing any weight, but I am getting shorter.
There are those who say that I do not
know how to get along with people.
Untrue! All one has to do is lick up;
kick down; adhere to a code of honor among thieves and make as many vapid
jokes, preferably based on pop icons in order to increase one's popularity
base, as possible.
Nothing could be simpler.
Those of us who are insightful enough to perceive the phenomenon for what it
is, linguistically apt enough to articulate it to ourselves and others and of
strong enough moral fiber to go against the social tide and opt out of ape-like
behavior, are thereby exempt.
I am among the exempt.
Now you'll say that I am arrogant.
No, I'm not arrogant, just supremely self-possessed.
Self-possessed. Now you'll say that I'm a demon…
Comforting thought of the day: There is
an infinite number of women with my mind and Carmen Electra's looks who do not have to clean for Pesach in
infinite parallel universes – some perhaps as close as 10^10^497 meters away,
give or take.
Who would want to have sex with someone
with silicone implants?
I mean, who in their right mind
would want to play with a couple of inflatable bags?
Probably
someone who wasn't sure of the person's sexual skills and was afraid of getting
into an accident.
I'm too much of a rebel to be
schizophrenic. I'd just tell any voices
that told me what to do to go to hell.
I've done it! It's my tour de force.
It's the crowning achievement of decades of not only theoretical rumination,
but endeavoring to live according to the principles I hold most dear. I have
not only defined and elucidated the precepts, but attained the level of being
the living embodiment of my ideation. I have thus formulated the basis of a new
movement, which I am absolutely convinced is the one and only hope for all
sentient beings and to which I intend to convert the entire world – by force if
need be.
I have yclept it Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism.
As the name clearly suggests; Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism is
believing that one is oh, so special because one lives in a stuporous,
stateless state which is out of, probably irrelevant to and almost definitely
inconsequential and undesirable in any given time frame.
Tzfat's (Safed's) having been dubbed
"The Ignominy of the
As Poets make of themselves
unrequited lovers, so Anarchists make of themselves Proletarians.
The limerent object of the Anarchist
is all of Humanity.
When I consider the various schools
of Judaism, such as they are nowadays; I feel like Goldilocks in the three
bears' beds. One is too hard, a second too soft, yet a third too middling – and
all entirely too Procrustean.
I was asked to describe the man of my
dreams. Okay. Here goes: Bad hair, worse teeth and ears like Dumbo. He must be
petulant, unpredictable and far too often floating belly up in his cups. The
man of my dreams will drive me mad with frustration, steadfastly refusing my
plaints that he wear a sporran - and nothing
else. His dead meat should be overly
pickled and he must have a funny accent. His otherwise exquisite writing should
be vitiated with scurrilous punctuation.
I wonder what I will be when humanity
grows up.
There is no greater obstacle to
knowledge of God than belief.
A Mensan, with whom I have enjoyed
corresponding for a few years, posed the following query to me: "Did you
know that using Newton's method to find the roots of so elementary a
function as x^3 - 1 = 0
in the complex plane
leads to infinitely detailed fractals?"
In the recesses of my memory bank is
a treasure chest into which I pitch all of the assorted and sundry curiosities
that will be worthy of the most serious consideration just as soon as everyone
has bilharzia-free water to drink, is fed, housed, clothed and shod, inoculated
and educated.
Yes, my friend, if I recall correctly;
this gem of a factoid is in there somewhere.
My son is teaching himself to play
guitar. His playing causes me to wax philosophical – Strum und Twang.
The contention that an efficacious
programme of ethnic cleansing has been implemented in "Palestine" is
patently preposterous. Preposterous, I tell you. Israel remains as ethnically
grotty and squalid as ever it was.
You can step into the same torpid
pool twice. – Heravulvus
The dow that
can be pronounced is not a blue chip dow. D-Tzy
Ever notice how the most nugatory
statements are the most averred?
Where there's a will there may very
well be a codicil.
Nihilism: Gloomy agnostication
Pharmaceutical Company: Casa Nostrum
Mommy! Mommy! I don't want to go to
camp!
Shut up and keep writing subversive
essays.
When they said: "be part of the
solution", what they meant was: When the meltdown comes, take your place
as the solvent or the solute.
Bats are the quintessence of what
creation looks like when God and Satan collaborate. Humans are the apotheosis.
Our forefathers were commanded by God
to redeem hearts of stone and turn them into flesh and blood.
We, in this generation, are commanded
to redeem plastic.
George Walker Bush should go down in
the annals of history as the man who eradicated paranoia.
People ask: What's real?
What's real and not real is not
relevant to us, despite the fact that we've all been taught to think it's of
the utmost importance.
That's right. I did just say that.
And I meant what I said.
What's important is what we *want* to
be true, how we use our hope and imaginations. That will determine what will be
for us.
In this world, or, more properly, at
this grade in our schooling, we are being taught how to ideate meaningfully,
not how to align our thoughts with objective reality.
Objective reality is what we will
create at a later stage in our schooling.
Just because I'm a Jew, if I do
nothing but stay in bed all day and do nothing; about 3 billion people will
obsess about my existence.
The Black Pope and the Queen of
In fact, among the 3 billion people
who will obsess about me are the White and Black Popes and the monarchs of
That's power!
What's more powerful is that I wish
it were not so.
Comforting thought for the day: If
the world turns to grey goo because of nanotechnology run amok and
resulting ecophagy, the black hole created by CERN would probably rather spit
than swallow
One must know
God and have faith in Man.
The latter is
the greater of the two accomplishments.
Think: If people
were not naturally intelligent, would the water be fluoridated?
If people were
not naturally noble, would so much effort me made undermining our estimation of
ourselves and one another?
If people were
not naturally peaceful, would so much effort be expended creating wars?
If people were
not basically Godly, would so much effort have been spent on promulgating the
occult?
In every
generation, the war machine looked like the unbeatable, unstoppable juggernaut
and like the ultimate doomsday weapon to the populace.
And in every
generation Humanity beat the reaper.
We will this
time too and our descendants will look back on these days and our puny
technology with the amusement that the quaintness of the chariot arouses in us.
Do you know the
antonym of the French word grandeur? Some have it that it is blandeur, but it's
not. The antonym of grandeur is insignifiance. Have you ever heard of a
psychotic symptom called Delusions of Grandeur?
Have you ever
heard of a psychotic symptom called Delusions of Insignfiance?
Ask yourself why
not.
I ask you: What
is more psychotic – for one to imagine that they are Cleopatra (or Napoleon for
the male persuasion) –or- for one to imagine that they are a cog in a machine?
Which is more
socially acceptable to say that you think you are Cleopatra (or Napoleon) or
that you are a cog in a machine?
Trying to
galvanize the Israelis into a revolutionary force is like trying to whip an OA
meeting into a SWAT team.
Being insightful,
clever and pithy about one's failure is a poor substitute for being successful.
I'd rather be inciteful [sic] than insightful.
The elite are
just people assuming the position.
Can'tcha just
smell it? The entire psycho-social services system in Israel is stewing in
Tavistock.
If anyone asks you for proof of your "conspiracy theories" tell them: Where there's smoke, there's fire. And where there's fire there are no documents.
Ask anyone of
European descent what right they have to be in the Americas, Australia or New
Zealand and they'll tell you: "I have Native blood". What they mean
is: on my hands. The question is: Do the *Natives* accept you as one of them?
If not, stop kidding yourself.
One has to be
able to read the meta-messages in behaviors and events and also to realize they
are sending meta-messages to others. When a people, en masse, agree to be
called workers and be put in cubicles for 80-hour work weeks; their
declarations of loving freedom are never going to be taken seriously by
business, or its private clerical and administrative staff and police force,
i.e., the government, ever again.
Doreen Ellen Bell-Dotan of Tzfat
(Safed),
a.k.a. D2 and Doreen, Queen of
Éire East and West,
The Laputans Manque and Jewish
Israeli Princess (JIP); also
Founder, Adept Extraordinaire and
Sole Devotee of
Anarcho-Anachro-Nacro-Necro-Narcissism