B & B
& B
Thuh
'Merican gum-mint has formulated and produced a powerful new weapon to add to
its arsenal employed in its never-ending war against lucidity and individuality.
The
USians, encouraged by the results of the mandatory administration of Ritalin to
schoolchildren whose indefatigable love of life and joyous enthusiasm were so
disruptive and insufferable in public schools, will now be administering a new,
experimental drug, which induces extreme apathy and euphoria in children who
are bright or caring, or, in the worst of cases, both.
Starting
this school year, B & B & B will be administered to children deemed,
according to rigorous testing, to be in dire need of being doped, uh, that is,
calmed.
The
administration of the drug will be on a mandatory basis and free-of-charge to
all children who are found to have IQs of at least 120 and/or evinced
compassion or empathy to any degree whatsoever, in the course of the President's New Freedom Commission on Mental Health
screening program. The screening, which is
quite obviously worth every tax dollar spent in developing and implementing it,
has proven scientifically that these children are extremely disturbed and potentially
dangerous to society. They simply cannot be allowed to disrupt the flow of public
school indoc…um, education. They must be
controlled – for their own good and for the good of all decent White Christian folks.
Any
parent, teacher or child care worker who observes intelligence and /or
compassion in a child and does not report it to the authorities at once can
expect the full extent of the punishment allowed by law to be brought to bear
against him or her. Snitches will be
granted an extra $25 dollars per month in food stamps.
The
promising new drug will be marketed by the name of B & B & B, after the
afflatus for the idea and the ideal personality that the drug is designed to induce
in those who receive it – that of Barbara Bourbon-Bush.
The
remarkable pharmacological innovation in the development of B & B & B is that preliminary testing
has revealed that the efficacy of the drug is not only heightened substantially
when it is taken together with pseudo-Liberal propagandistic tripe, popularly
marketed as Red Bull, but that the two administered together increase
suggestibility and enhance natural mimetic tendencies in the recipient.
The
recommended initial starting dosage is one pony glass of B & B & B
three-quarters of an hour before classes begin.
According to the individual reaction of each child, the dosage may be
increased to a shot glass, and, in cases of extreme incorrigibility, where the
child continues to ask incisive and/or critical questions and/or evinces empathy
and/or demonstrates any degree of non-acceptance of authority; a chaser of Red
Bull can be administered as well.
Um,
say what? You say you have objections to
your child taking an experimental soporific drug that
will render him or her optimally socially malleable? Well, just try to "Just
say no".
Doreen
Ellen Bell-Dotan,