what my sister's wish where
Lori told me, If anything was to happen to her. That " I know you will take care of things for me." As she was to do the same for me. Lori knew no matter what. As I knew she would do the same for me
I would do my very best to make sure that her wishess came frist. She did not want to be put in the ground. At some grave yard where no one would come too. Or stand over and cry and feel gelty that they should of and the what if's." After all they did not care all that much about me when I was here." She had comfort in being put in with her father. ( and I did try that but it would not be allowed.) As she got older she could see how much she had turned out to be like her mother. Lori blamed her mother for so much. Most of all having her son call her mother, mom that hurt Lori. And to lori it seemed that her mother always tryed to make Lori in to something she was not. Lori had a lot of hurt and pain at her mother. And could not find for giveness. And the last thing she wanted was to be put with her mother. Lori told me more than one time if that was to happend you take me to the highest Mt. and set me free.
But her frist Idia was to be on the land,In Iowa. And to have a rose bush planted. Do to my state of mind and feeling so much pusher from my family to do what they wanted. It still hurts to this day I was tolded that it did not matter what Lori's wish were You have to think of the one's left behide and what is best for them. To me this was so sick. All my sistered wanted from them was there love uncondishal love and no one in this family could show her that. It was always dress this way and act that way, No one came down to help me with the aragement and lose ends. All I have was my childern and husband and my older sister from Washington state. And all she did was leason to my cry's. I feel my sister Lori did not get the life that she should of had. So by God she was going to get her last wish. And my sister stood behide me. And some how this family turned it alround and said it all was her felt. That I was not doing what they wanted. They never even really asked me what Lori wanted. They tried so hard to brake me down my mother even said that she would disown me. If I did not do what she wanted. This was not the frist time she has disowned me many times well anytime that I did not do what she wanted.
I became so sick, and feeling so lost I did not just lose a sister I lost a piece of me and I lost my life as I new it my home and my job. and ended up with a brake down. But all this dose not matter to me. I lost my little sister She told me one time that I showed she more love and understanding than she own mother. We where so very close. I took care of she from the time she was so little. Us three younger ones are closer.
Something als Lori and I talked about doing a web page yes writing are story. Something for our childern to read and understand why we did the things we did. And for when they feel lost and lonely they could also come to the web and may feel some love, And know that She will always be with them. And this is my way of keeping her Alive I had hoped that my other Sister would help do this web page. But her life to just to busy. And well it is best this way. NOTHING HAPPENS BY MISTAKE
Lori's said to me if you really love some one and feel that you are only hurting them to let them go that show's more love than anyone person can give. We did this with are childern because we felt that we where not good enth.
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