Chapter Three

     The next moon was filled with nearly
constant practice.  His body ached every morning
and again at night.  The cold of the approaching
winter chilled him to the bone each of the six or
more times per day that he had to walk between
the barracks, where the students where housed,
and the salle, where they practiced.  The other
students did not appreciate the extra attention
that Johdi was getting.  Many nights he went to
bed with many bruises that where not related to
his lessons.  At seeing how the other students
where treating his prize pupil the sword master
decided he needed to teach him the nastier
unarmed techniques sooner than he had planned.
However, after over a moon of lessons, he was
disappointed to find that Johdi was still being
attacked by his classmates.  He decided he would
confront Johdi about it after his private session
that night.  The lesson lasted well into the
night.  Then he motioned for Johdi to sit.  He
did this whenever he was about to teach something
new, so Johdi eagerly obeyed, anticipating his
next lesson.  So what the sword master had to say
surprised him.  "Johdi, do you think you could
ever kill a man?"
     "If I had to...  I guess.  I mean, if it was
in a war, or if they were attacking my family, I
suppose I'd have to.  Like you've said its kill
or be killed."
     His master kept a blank face and pressed
further, "That's well and good, but would you
ever hit someone, out side of class" he
clarified.
     Johdi panicked.  He'd thought he did a good
job at hiding the marks he'd received from his
classmates.  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be
fighting with the other students.  They... they
just keep..."  He broke into sobs.
     "Johdi!" he slapped the weeping student hard
across the face, "listen to me!  What do you
think I'm teaching you all this for if not for to
USE it.  Now I'm not saying for you to KILL any
of them, but why do you take their abuse.  I know
you have the skills to at least convince them
it's not a bad idea to leave you alone.  But you
keep taking their abuse?  What's wrong with you?
PUT THOSE BOYS IN THEIR PLACE."
     It made sense.  He had done that sort of
thing to people his whole life.  Now he had the
skills to do it to people who were twice the size
of him, as many of the students there were.  The
only thing he had missed was being told to put
two and two together so to speak.  So once
dismissed he plodded back to the barracks.  When
he got there, he found waiting for him the same
thing that had been waiting for him every night
since he began the one-on-one training.  They
were all smiling also like usual.  He stood in
the doorway.  All twenty-three of the students
were waiting.  He knew what he had to do and set
himself on his task.  The next morning when he
was the only student at morning meal, the sword
master inquired about it.  Johdi's response of "I
took your advice" scared the sword master in to
sprinting for the barracks afraid to find the
walls soaked with blood and all his students dead
with a lot of explaining to do to their parents.
     When he opened the door, he was happy to see
there was no blood though several of the students
had bandages covering wounds and limbs in slings.
He checked around the room and saw there was not
so much as a broken bone.  Just a lot of bruises,
burns, and dislocated limbs.  When asked about
how they got these injuries none of them would
answer.  So he set back to ask Johdi.  Johdi's
tale was more violent than he had expected but
what surprised him was that after everyone was
beat into unconsciousness or passed out from
pain, he had dressed all the burns and put all
the dislocated joints back in place.  He had
learned those lessons well too.  With everyone
back in their beds he fell asleep himself.
Although not in his bed, he slept outside.
Afraid that thy might retaliate while he slept.
Thought from the looks of them, very few of them
were any condition to do any harm to anyone.
     "I don't want to go back there.  I don't
want to do that again.  And I know they will want
to get back at me some how."
     He was right.  He knew the boys would want
to do something to get even, not that some of the
boys didn't deserve that kind of beating.  For
some it was over due.  Nevertheless, Johdi
shouldn't be forced to live in fear like that.
He should have taken him out earlier.  He had
expected Johdi to put them in their place and
that would be the end of it, but when it finally
did happen, it was too much too late.  "I'll tell
you what, you still need to be here for a few
more moons yet.  It will probably be late spring
by the time you are ready to be sent home.  In
fact, I had hoped you'd have fleshed out more
while you where here, but that doesn't seem to be
your lot.  So, we'll work on getting you out of
here as soon as we can, but until then you can
stay in my house.  There's a large closet that
has tools and half-rusted armor and stuff that
you can have once you clean it out.  You can
start that task immediately since classes are all
canceled today seeing how you have disabled 95%
of the class."  Johdi hung is head shamefully at
that but thanked him for the room and picked up
is plate and cup after cleaning it went off to
move into his new room.

Johdi looked around his new room.  After moving
all the equipment, that he couldn't tinker with
out of it there was still not much space.  It was
a 6' x 6' square.  There was barely room for a
bed and the small pile of half-rusted armor that
Johdi thought he might be able to make something
rather impressive from.  The standard practice
gear only consisted of helm, and cops over the
knees and elbows, but this armor was meant for
practice with heavier weapons, or even defense
against real weapons.  He was almost certain his
master wouldn't be teaching him with heavier
weapons.  However, maybe if he saw his
willingness, he might change his mind.  So every
day in the little free time he had between
practice and sleep and food, he was in his dark
little closet, tinkering with the armor,
scrubbing at it, trying to get all the rust off
without making the metal too thin.
     The sword master noticed this of course, and
thought it was a shame.  The kid was so eager to
learn, and so eager to please, but he simply was
not cut out for the heavier styles of fighting.
No, he was a light, fast fighter.  He'd even
discovered that he was even more impressive with
a shorter weapon.  He eventually decided on a
weapon on him that was little more than a long
dagger, half again as long as the boys forearm.
With two of them, he was a sight to behold.  The
sword dances that he taught the boy he had rarely
seen look so smooth or as effortless.  Where most
of his students would try to force the blade into
the movement, Johdi seemed to beckon it, as if
the sword were a playful bird chasing his hand.
No, he was not cut out for the heavy frontline
styles that most holder kin seem born for.  In
fact, he had given Johdi a break in his long day
by excusing him from the classes in which he was
teaching it to the other students.  There was
some teasing from the other students but it was
only while Johdi wasn't there.  They still seemed
to fear him while still willing to push him down
like the runt he appeared to be.
     Subsequently, more days passed.  Midwinter
came and went with little notice, for it was a
time for indulging children, drinking and
coupling up for the cold.  These adolescents had
long since given up on such childish things,
there was no alcohol allowed, and there was a
serious lack of girls to couple with.
     In time, the snow began to melt and everyone
could tell that spring would not be long.  Jodi
was looking forward to the spring, eager to
finish his training and return to his father.
And show him what he had learned.  He knew his
father would be so proud. Then one night
everything changed.


     It had started with a particularly bad
session with his master.  Johdi felt like he
simply couldn't do anything right.  His sword
kept going in odd directions to his arm and
seemed impossible to control.  It got so bad that
at one point, when his master insisted, "You can
do this.  You've done it many times before.  Just
relax and it will all come back," but it wasn't
helping, nothing Johdi tried worked.  In a fit of
frustration, Johdi threw his wooden practice
sword across the room with all his strength,
where it clanged into the heavier practice armor
the other boys all used, but not him.  The world
narrowed and his legs feel out from under him...
he collapsed to the floor and laid there crying
for several minutes.  With his master looking.
Several boys who had been playing near the salle
had heard the noise and had wondered in.  Johdi
could not stop crying, and everyone was watching
him... he summoned up all his strength all his
courage and managed to stand up once again,
thought he was still crying.  When he could
finally raise his head and look at his master's
face, his resolve broke.  He ran from the salle
as fast as his short legs could take him.  he
desperately wished for his cave.  For a place
where no one could find him and he could just cry
without anyone knowing, without the accusing
looks and teasing that he knew he would get.  The
closet he was using for a room was the next best
thing to his old cave.  He ran to the safety of
his room, slamming the door, and shoving a wooden
wedge under the door.  It wasn't much, but it
would stop anyone who didn't want to get to him
bad enough to damage the door.  That night Johdi
cried himself to sleep.  His pillow and hair
soaked up his tears.

     The next morning, Jodi felt better.  Even
though he remembered being very upset the day
before, it seemed distant and not as important as
it did then.  He actually felt very silly about
it now.  He threw the sheets back stood up and
gave himself his morning scratch.  His hand came
back wet, and when he looked at it, in the pail
light coming in from around the door, it was red.
Blood!  He was bleeding!  He felt a trickle roll
down his leg and he fell into a panic.  Ok...
someone must have stabbed him during the night.
He lay back on the bed and pushed his breeches
and the sheets to the bottom of the bed, he
looked at his abdomen afraid that he'd see his
entrails spilling out of him and all across the
floor.  He opened his eyes and was astonished.
There was nothing.  No wound.  Nothing was wrong.
He was as he had always been.  Then he noticed
that he didn't feel any pain.  Well, at least
nothing worse than a full day of heavy exercise
the day before wouldn't account for but he was
used to that.  So where did all this blood come
from?  The other students must have been playing
a prank on him.  Took some clean-ish rags and
wiped the blood from himself, and changed his
breeches.  He'd clean the blood from his sheets
and pants latter.  For now, he was hungry and set
out for morning meal.  Or he would have except
when he pulled on the door it wouldn't budge.
Then he remembered he'd wedged the door shut last
night.  He removed the wedge but then the still
slightly damp feeling in his crotch reminded him
of the blood.  How could they have gotten blood,
in my pants, without removing the door wedge?
This confused him to no end.
     He absently opened the door.  He opened the
door into the face of his master who just
happened to be about to wake him up in the
morning.  Rubbing his freshly battered nose, his
master looked at him and spoke muffled through
his hands, "well, I can see you're up.  I let you
sleep in today.  You seemed to be having a bad
day yesterday, and I thought you might have just
not been getting enough sleep recently.  I know
you've been working on all that armo-...  oh
gods, is that blood?  Did you cut yourself?"
     "No, I don't know where it came from, I
think the other students are trying to pull a
prank on me or something?"
     "What?  You sure?  You're not hurt?  I
didn't notice anyone sneaking in last night but I
might be getting lax in my old age. Well,
anyways, if you say you're not hurt that's fine.
Go put on some new breeches and I'll walk you
over to morning meal."
     "But I already did,"     "Then how'd that
blood get there?" pointing to Johdi's breeches
and not his sheets as he thought his master was
looking.  Johdi twisted around and sure enough,
there was a small spot of blood on his breeches.
     "Umm...  Don't know..."
     His master then proceeded to remove his
breeches.  It wasn't too uncommon.  The sword
master had often checked his students over to
look for hidden injuries.  Particularly after a
heavier than necessary blow.  Internal injuries
where far too likely when training his students.
     So, Johdi didn't even flinch at the hands
palpating his abdomen and legs and latter his
groin.  He did flinch when he pressed on his
scrotum.  He looked down and saw the sword
master's hands had blood on them.  "Oh gods, I
HAVE been stabbed!!"
     "No, no, I don't think so." the sword master
said in a calming voice.  Johdi thought the next
thing his master did was VERY odd, but he smelled
the blood.  "Um, I think we need to have a talk."


     The sword master led the small, frightened
boy to a large comfy chair next the small fire
still burning.  He had given Johdi a bandage to
wear between his legs and he held it in place
with the groin protector that has been required
at all times since he arrived at the school.
     "So, do you have any idea about why you're
bleeding?"
     "No, no sir.  Is...  Is it serious?"  The
serious look on his masters face told him that it
was.  But he still felt the need to ask.
     "No, well, in a way...  Tell me, has this
ever happened to you before?"
     No, of course not.  Well..." the thought
back.  "Well, maybe five moons ago, I woke up,
and there was a little blood on my...  Umm...
Member, but I just wiped it off, there just
wasn't this much, but it...  I didn't think it
was anything important.  And definitely not
anything I wanted to tell anyone about.  Then
about two moons ago, after I wiped from going to
the bathroom there was a little blood, but I
figured I might have taken a hard hit to the
kidney or something.  Anyways...  It went away so
I figured I was fine.  Was I...  did it..."
     "No...  You're not in any danger.  Just...
I can't believe no one thought to tell you this
stuff before.  Oh well, I've explained things to
plenty of boys in the past, I guess I can adapt."
Johdi was worried and confused.  He wasn't quite
so scared any more, but the look on his master's
face still did not comfort him.
     His master continued, "You see, we two
people are in love...  And...  Well, at a certain
age...."  Jodi suddenly blushed when he figured
out what speech it was his master as trying to
give"
     "Oh!  No...  My father already explained
that to me.  Ya, they told me all about what will
happen with the likening girls and growing hair
on my face and everything.  It was all kinda
silly, if you ask me.  The other boys from nearby
holdings had been talking about stuff like that
for..."
     The sword master cut him off, "NO, that's...
Umm...  No...  That's not what I was saying at
all.  Umm...  do you know what kind of changes
girls go through?"
     "Yea!  Of course I do, they get bosoms.  My
sisters where getting them."
     "Umm...  Do they get anything else?"
     "Well, they normally would get married but
my father said..."
     Once more he was cut off by his master, "No
not that either.  Umm...  have you ever heard any
of your father's wives or your sisters talk about
their...  Oh havens, what do they call them?...
'moon days'?"
     "Ya, that's when my sisters all go all weird
and start acting stupider than they normally do."
     "Yes, well, last night, you started your
moon days."
     "Oh... wow, that's all, I was really
worried, but wait...  I didn't know that men had
moon days too.  I wonder why none of the other
students ever mentioned this before?"
     *oh, gods above and below give me strength*
"Umm...  No.  None of the other students have, or
will ever have moon days.  Only girls get moon
days."
     The sword master watched as the gears in
Johdi's head slowly turned over this new
information.  With a visible click, it suddenly
hit him, "But then why did you say that I was
having moon days if I could can't have them?"
     "I'm very certain that you are a girl."
     The anger welled up inside Johdi at hearing
this.  He'd been called similar names before but
this was his teacher.  He had trusted him, and
now he was insulting him.  With blind rage, Johdi
leapt at the sword master.  Attacking with all
the training, he'd gained over the past eight
moons he'd spent with him.  The sword master was
impressed.  He'd never before seen Johdi attack
with as much effort and determination.  In
practices before it had been very calm and
controlled.  That was one of the reasons he
enjoyed teaching Johdi.  Now, on the other hand,
was like watching a boar leap at him.  The anger
had given its strength to his attacks, but at the
price of wisdom in choosing the attacks.  Johdi
kept coming at him for the better part of half an
hour before showing signs of fatigue.  Have let
Johdi wear himself down, he pulled him off his
feet and placed him horizontally on the ground in
an uncomfortable manor.  Johdi just lay there
panting, his eyes glazed, open but not seeing.
     "If you can hear me, I need to make sure the
bo-...  other student's haven't torn down the
mess hall.  If you still feel like 'talking',
I'll meet you in the salle, I'm afraid my
furniture can't take to much more of this
discussion." the sword master flashed Johdi a
smile and turned to leave for the mess hall.
Johdi just continued to stare at the ceiling.

     The sword master was glad to see Johdi in
the salle, after he had stopped a food fight that
had sprung up between the students who had made
the food and some students who had decided that
it was better fit for throwing than for
ingesting.  In any event, he had punished them
all to house arrest for the day, and with the day
threatening to be a sunny and pleasant one, it
was quite the punishment.
     Johdi was all suited up and looked ready for
to practice despite having missed his morning
meal.  The pleasant look on his face was
comforting.  He had actually been afraid that
Jodi might try to harm himself.  His thoughts
drifted back to a shield-mate from back when he
was still sill signed with a company of mercs.
His friend had tripped in the mud before a
battle.  He lay there trying to get his helm
unstuck from the mud, when a mounted scout in a
rush trampled over him without notice.  The horse
only connected with on one knee, but it shattered
it badly.  It soon grew infected.  The doctors
had tried cutting away the rot three times, but
there was little left after the second attempt.
So finally, at the third attempt, they had to
remove the whole leg.  When the effects of the
poppy extract they had given him wore off, he was
hysterical, insisting his leg was still there.
The doctors had done everything they could to try
and calm him, even sedating him several times.
In the end, somehow, he'd managed to get a hold
on his sword, and while no one was watching him,
he fell on it.
     Before his partner had killed himself, he
seemed so quiet.  He stopped struggling...
Stopped talking...  All he did was stare at the
ceiling.  Just like Johdi had done a short while
ago, but his fears of having another person kill
themself on him quickly diminished.  For Johdi
was hard at work practicing the sword dance that
had given him so much trouble the night before
and performing it with fluency.  The master
decided to give Johdi some time before bringing
up the revelations of this morning again.  He
could not leave it alone forever, but for now,
there was a student waiting to be trained.