I stood by her,
and she stood by me,
and she gave me something
I'd been missing in my life.
Once I had a friend.
She brought sunshine into my life,
got me to say "good morning"
and could always put a smile
on my face.
Once I had a friend.
She was a true friend
who listened to me,
stood by me,
and offered me encouragement.
Once I had a friend
and I tried to give back
what was so graciously given to me.
For a time I matched her friendship.
I tried to console and support,
advise and encourage,
I did all I could to be true to my friend.
Once I had a friend,
but then life changed
and things got harder.
The rougher her life got,
the more I tried to support her,
and soon my feelings began to change.
That I felt others
were using me against her
only intensified my feelings
and contributed to their change.
Once I had a friend
ant then I failed in my friendship
and hurt the most wonderful person
I had ever met in my life.
Once I had a friend
and I tried to say the right words,
encourage the choices
that were best for her.
But the words were empty
because my feelings had changed.
I was hurt and afraid and grew selfish.
I didn't want her to leave
because she had become
to big a part of my life.
Once I had a friend,
and even though she offered
nothing but friendship,
my feelings had grown too deep
and her every action
struck at my heart
no mattter how innocent it's motivation.
Once I had a friend,
but blinded by anguish and pain,
guided by suffering and selfishness,
rather than being her friend
and accepting her leaving,
I flailed and struck out
and hurt someone who didn't deserve it,
brought anguish to someone
who had been a true friend
and a positive force in my life.
Once I had a friend,
but I fell in love and drove her away
and the world refuses
to allow me peace from my crimes.
I face constant reminders
of the friend I've lost
and the damage I've done.
Fate gives my conscience
every opportunity it can
to rub my folly in my face
and make it harder to let her go.
Once I had many friends and now I don't.
I used to think it was them.
Now I know it's me.
I just regret the price I had to pay to find out.