TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN
10- You vigorously deny the existence of
thousands of gods claimed by other religions,
but feel outraged when someone denies the
existence of your god.
9- You feel insulted and
"dehumanized" when scientists say
that people evolved from lesser life forms,
but you have no problem with the Biblical
claim that we were created from dirt.
8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no
problem believing in a Trinity god.
7- Your face turns purple when you hear of
the "atrocities" attributed to
Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing
about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the
babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and
ordered the elimination of entire ethnic
groups in "Joshua" -- including
women, children, and trees!
6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify
humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping
with women, but you have no problem believing
that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who
then gave birth to a man-god who got killed,
came back to life and then ascended into the
sky.
5- You are willing to spend your life looking
for little loop-holes in the scientifically
established age of the Earth (4.55 billion
years), but you find nothing wrong with
believing dates recorded by pre-historic
tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing
that the Earth is a couple of generations
old.
4- You believe that the entire population of
this planet with the exception of those who
share your beliefs -- though excluding those
in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in
an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you
consider your religion the most
"tolerant" and "loving".
3- While modern science, history, geology,
biology, and physics have failed to convince
you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on
the floor speaking in "tongues" may
be all the evidence you need to prove
Christianity.
2- You define 0.01% as a "high success
rate" when it comes to answered prayers.
You consider that to be evidence that prayer
works. And you think that the remaining
99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
1- You actually know a lot less than many
Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible,
Christianity, and church history -- but still
call yourself a Christian
