(Rooters)In light of increased terrorist threats due to increased American imperialism, our tornations Cheerleader In Chief has issued a "Code Pink" the highest terror alert color code in the country in an effort to revive his dismal polling numbers.

Conservatives are ordered to come out of their closets, gather their special anti terrorism kit and take shelter in their basements. Make sure you bring the following Items in your Republican Anti Terrorism Kit: Duct Tape, Plastic Sheeting, Gags, Hoods, Nipple Clamps, Dildos, Shackles and take immediate shelter in your basement.

Stay Tuned To Faux News For More "Code Pink" Terror Updates.

© 2004 Rooters