| Chickenhawk
Headquarters |
| Name |
Employer |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Bush,
George W |
Citizenry |
1946 |
Vietnam |
|
A.W.O.L. |
| Cheney,
Dick |
Citizenry |
1941 |
Vietnam |
|
"had
other priorities" |
| |
| Barking
Head Brigade |
| Name |
Employer |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Hume,
Britt |
Faux
TV |
1943 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Keyes,
Alan |
Faux
TV |
1950 |
Vietnam |
|
Harvard |
| Kondracke.
Mort |
Faux
TV |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Limbaugh,
David |
Radio? |
1952 |
Vietnam |
|
National
Guard |
| Limbaugh,
Rush |
Radio |
1951 |
Vietnam |
anal
cysts |
|
| Matthews,
Chris |
MSNBC |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
Peace
Corps? |
| Reagan,
Michael |
Radio? |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| |
| The
Bureaucratic Battalion |
| Name |
Position |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Abraham,
Spencer |
Energy
Sec. |
1952 |
Vietnam |
|
Harvard
Law |
| Abrams,
Elliott |
State? |
1948 |
Vietnam |
bad
back |
college,
grad school |
| Card,
Andrew |
High-Level
Flunky |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Evans,
Don |
Commerce
Sec. |
1946 |
Vietnam |
|
Sigma
Alpha Epsilon |
| Perle,
Richard |
Bureaucrat |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Pitt,
Harvey |
Bureaucrat |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
Law
school |
| Stockman,
David |
Budget-Boy |
1946 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Thompson,
Tommy |
Bureaucrat |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
National
Guard |
| Walters,
John |
Drug
Tsar |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Wolfowitz,
Paul |
Bureaucrat |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| |
| JAG |
| Name |
Position |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Ashcroft,
John |
"Justice" |
1942 |
Vietnam |
|
teaching
business ed |
| Kennedy,
Arthur |
Judge
of sorts |
1936 |
Vietnam |
|
lawyering |
| Olson,
Ted |
Solicitor
General |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Scalia,
Antonin |
Associate
Justice |
|
Vietnam |
|
|
| Starr,
Ken |
Persecutor |
1947 |
Vietnam |
psoriasis |
|
| Thomas,
Clarence |
Tool |
1948 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| |
| The
Politicians Platoon |
| Name |
Franchise |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Armey,
Dick |
US
House (R-Tex.) |
1940 |
Vietnam |
|
attending
college |
| Barr,
Bob |
US
House (R-Ga.) |
1948 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Bauer,
Gary |
None |
1946 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Craig,
Larry |
Senator
(R-Idaho) |
1945 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| DeLay,
Tom |
US
House (R-Tex) |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
attended
grad school |
| Dornan,
Bob |
US
House (R-Calif) |
1933 |
Korea |
|
acting
class, Loyola |
| Engler,
John |
Gov.
- Mich. |
1948 |
Vietnam |
"too
fat," by 8 lbs. |
|
| Gingrich,
Newt |
ex-US
House (R-Ga.) |
1943 |
Vietnam |
|
attended
grad school |
| Giuliani,
Rudy |
ex-Mayor,
NYC |
1944 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Gramm,
Phil |
Senate
(R-Tex.) |
1942 |
Vietnam |
|
marriage
deferment |
| Hastert,
Dennis |
US
House (R-Ill.) |
1942 |
Vietnam |
bad
knees |
wrestling
coach (huh?) |
| Keating,
Frank |
Gov.
- Okla. |
1944 |
|
|
|
| Kemp,
Jack |
ex-US
House (R-NY) |
1935 |
Vietnam |
bum
knee |
football |
| Lott,
Trent |
Senate
(R-La.) |
1941 |
Vietnam |
|
cheerleader |
| McConnell,
Mitch |
Senator
(R-Ky.) |
1942 |
Vietnam |
|
lawyering |
| Nickles,
Don |
Senator
(R-Okla.) |
1948 |
Vietnam |
|
cushy
Guard slot |
| Quayle,
Dan |
Veep |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
National
Guard |
| Racicot,
Mark |
Party
Boss |
1948 |
Vietnam |
|
Law
School |
| Reagan,
Ronald |
Prez |
1911 |
WWII |
|
Hollywood |
| Romney,
Mitt |
None
yet |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
BYU |
| Stone,
Roger |
Consultant |
1952± |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Weber,
Vin |
Politician |
1952 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Weld,
William |
ex-Gov.
- Mass. |
1945 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| |
| The
Propaganda Platoon |
| Name |
Employer |
Year
Born |
Relevant
Conflict Avoided |
Lame
Excuse |
Preferred
Activity |
| Ailes,
Roger |
Faux
TV |
1940 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Barnes,
Fred |
Cable |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Bartley,
Robert |
Wall
St. |
unk |
Korea? |
|
|
| Blitzer,
Wolf |
CNN |
1948 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Buchanan,
Pat |
Syndic. |
1938 |
Vietnam |
|
bad
knee |
| Buckley,
Christopher |
Unk. |
1952 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Feder,
Don |
Syndic. |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
law
school |
| Forbes,
Steve |
News
Baron |
1947 |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Gottlieb,
Alan |
Syndic. |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
National
Guard |
| Harvey,
Paul |
Syndic? |
1918 |
WWII |
|
|
| Heston,
Charleton |
La-La
Land |
1924 |
WWII |
|
college |
| Kristol,
William |
Vanity
Press |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| Medved,
Michael |
Syndic? |
1948 |
Vietnam |
see
"instead" |
taught
3rd grade |
| Olasky,
Marvin |
Syndic? |
unk |
Vietnam |
|
|
| O'Reilly,
Bill |
Faux
TV |
1949 |
Vietnam |
|
|
|
|
