Dollars and "Cents" skit Starring:
Steve Curell, Vance Degeneress, and Nacy Walls
Opening: sketch begins with a shiny lookin' graphic reading: Dollars & "Cents"
Steve: Well, the fed chef has spoken and were not here to alarm people but............
(Steve raises his arm and slowly drops it all the while whistling a sound of a bomb aproaching, then drops arm ,to see Vance spread his hands and make an explosion sound)
Vance: Steve, Al Greenspan believes reading economic indicators are pointing to a severe economic down turn. Just look at these numbers:
(another green shiny graphic appears)
5
28,273
17
Vance: 5 Steve........5; Pretty scary stuff
Steve: Vance, those numbers are totally taken out of context. Don't try to use facts to lure America into a recession that can and should only be caused by panic! If you are trying to scare investors thats one thing,but relevence has no place in this disscussion.
Vance: I couldnt agreee with you more but, I'm going to have to disagree. Recessions can accuratley be measured by home heating fuels coupled by medical care and food prices.
Steve: But with that logic we are headed into a ressesion right now!........(brethes in) OH! GOD! I'M SORRY! (puts hand on Vance's shoulder) YOURE RIGHT!
Vance: Thanks.......um, 2 things: first of all stop touching me, secondly never touch me again. Um, were there 3 things? No just 2. Lets go now to Nancy, she's on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. Nancy alot of talk up here about Al GreenSpan, whats the mood like down there?
Nancy: Well it depends on who you talk to. One gentleman I spoke with earlier said he's having marital problems and his son is doing poorly in school, so he was in a bad mood. And then there was another gentleman I talked to has lost 15 pounds and has just caught up with a friend he hasn't seen in years, so he was in a good mood. So all in all i would say,mixed.
Vance: Thanks Nancy. Mood: mixed. Pretty interesting stuff.
Steve: You would think. Time for our stock pick of the week.
Vance: Well Steve, if you are still putting money into stocks you are an idiot.
Steve: Agreed. My stock pick of the week is NOT Stocks. Nancy?
Nancy: Well, call me crazy, I know it's bankrupt and no longer exsists but I still like Pets.Com. Just a hunch, that puppet is a hoot!
Vance: Well it will be interesting to see how that unfolds. I'm Vance DeGeneress.
Steve:And I'm Steve Curell, saying good luck and good money to ya.
End
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