Our Arkansas Page

State of Arkansas
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN ARKANSAS

Instructions to all applicants.

It is required, that you answer all of the questions
TRUTHFULLY and to the very best of your ability.

But not to worry, you shouldn't have any problem.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ****** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We have had only one person that has ever failed the 
application, and it was just a person from the 
democrat party. 

The following is their official seal.

There were questions that just couldn't be answered truthfully
about being married to whom, had sex with, and which kind.

 
That's the reason they failed and couldn't return to the Great 
State of Arkansas.

~~~~~~ ****** ~~~~~~

But Anyway,

The State of New York made an exception.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ****** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     BEGIN HERE, TO READ YOUR APPLICATION:

     Name:             __________________________________________
     Nickname:         __________________________________________
     Address (RFD):    __________________________________________
     Daddy (if unknown, list at least 3 suspects ________________

     NECK SHADE: f Light Red  f Medium Red  f Dark Red  f Other
     Number of teeth exposed in full grin: Upper: ____Lower: ____
     Make of Pickup Truck:_____________ Size of tires: __________
     

     Truck equipped with: f Gun Rack f Fuzzbuster f 8 Track f Rebel Flag
       f Roll bar f CB Radio f Beer Can f Squirrel Tail   
     

     # of Hounds: ___ Type: f Blue Tick f Beagle f Black & Tan Other: ____
     

     Length of right leg: ___ Length of left leg:___  Other: ___
     How many Car/makes in front yard? ____ How many on blocks? ___
     How many kitchen appliances on front porch? ___ Back porch?___
     When and where was your last "ELVIS" sighting? ___________
     Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags?  f Yes  f No
     Do you own any shoes (not boots)?   f Yes   f No
     

     Are you married to any the following: (check all that applies)?
     f Sister f Cousin f Cousin's sister f Aunt  Other, explain:__________
     
     Have you had sex with anyone else besides the above?  f   Yes    f   No

     Does your wife weight more than your pickup?          f Yes  f No
     Can you spell your own name and always spell it right f Yes  f No
     Have you ever had more than one bath in a week?       f Yes  f No
     If Yes, please explain: _________________________________________
     

     MEDICAL INFORMATION 
     Do you have at least two (2) of the following f BO f Crabs f Lice
     f Bad Breath   f Scables     f Fleas    f Tattoos   f Crossed Eyes
     f Gold Teeth   f Green Teeth  f Brown Teeth  f Yellow Teeth
     f Any Teeth   # of Teeth missing? _____

     GENERAL INFORMATION
     Can you count pass 10 with your shoes on?    f Yes  f No
     Pass 21 with your fly up?                    f Yes  f No
 

     Favorite weapons:  f Tire Iron  f Pick Handle f Log chain f Shotgun
     Favorite passtime: f Drinking  f Coon huntin' f Fishin' f Other
     Favorite vocalist: f Willie Nelson f Johnny Cash f Elvis
                        f Conway Twitty f Loretta Lynn
     Bumper Stickers:   f Honk if you love jesus  f Dial 1-800-Eat-S..t
                        f Old fart  f Dig clams
     Cap emblems:       f John Deere   f Cat  f Skoll f Budweiser
                        f Jack Daniels
     Memberships:       f NRA  f VFW  f KKK  f 700 Club  f  B.P.O.E

         Your signature: (an X will do): __________________ Date:_______
    

This Web page was created on January 14, 2002

This page was updated on July 9, 2003


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