Sam Stone came home,
     To his wife and family
     After serving in the conflict overseas.
     And the time that he served,
     Had shattered all his nerves,
     And left a little shrapnel in his knees.
     But the morhpine eased the pain,
     And the grass grew round his brain,
     And gave him all the confidence he lacked,
     With a purple heart and a monkey on his back.

     There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
     Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
     Little pitchers have big ears,
     Don't stop to count the years,
     Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios.

     Sam Stone's welcome home
     Didn't last too long.
     He went to work when he'd spent his last dime
     And soon he took to stealing
     When he got that empty feeling
     For a hundred dollar habit without overtime.
     And the gold roared through his veins
     Like a thousand railroad trains,
     And eased his mind in the hours that he chose,
     While the kids ran around wearin' other peoples' clothes...

     There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
     Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
     Little pitchers have big ears,
     Don't stop to count the years,
     Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios.

     Sam Stone was alone
     When he popped his last balloon,
     Climbing walls while sitting in a chair.
     Well, he played his last request,
     While the room smelled just like death,
     With an overdose hovering in the air.
     But life had lost it's fun,
     There was nothing to be done,
     But trade his house that he bought on the GI bill,
     For a flag-draped casket on a local hero's hill.

     There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
     Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
     Little pitchers have big ears,
     Don't stop to count the years,
     Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios.

     Illegal Smile
     by John Prine

     When I woke up this morning, things were looking bad
     It seemed like total silence was the only friend I had
     A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won
     And it was 12 o'clock before I realized I was having no fun
     Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

           And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
           It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
           Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
           No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

     Last time I checked my bankroll, it was gettin' thin
     Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been
     I chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end,
     And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen
     Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

           And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
           It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
           Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
           No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun

 
     I went into my closet with all my overalls
     Tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls.
     Suppose the police heard everything I thought: What then?
     Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman
     Ah, but fortunately, I have the key to escape reality.

           And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile
           It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while
           Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone
           No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
 

     by Steve Goodman and John Prine
 

     How much tequila did I drink last night?
     It's really anybody's guess.
     I poured them so fast, I couldn't keep them in the glass,
     But this morning I sure am a mess.
     My head is four or five times its normal size
     And I got this big old cactus stuck between my eyes.
     I can't recall a single thing I did or said
     Or the names of all these people sleeping in this bed.
     Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
     Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
 

     How did I get these cuts and bruises all over my body?
     I must have fallen down somehow.
     I believe it had something to do with karate --
     It's all coming back to me now.
     I was standing in a bar with King Kong's cousin,
     He must have been seven foot three.
     His elbow gave me a bump, and so I said "Hey, chump,
     Would you like to step outside with me?"
     Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
     Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
 

     (Break:)

     My mouth is filled with cotton and my brain is sore.
     I left last night's dinner on this morning's floor.
     My stomach is swollen and my eyeballs shrunk.
     I drank so much that my hair got drunk.
 

     I see a big old worm about ten feet long
     Hallucinating purple cows.
     Somebody moved the furniture while I was gone.
     Uh oh, this is not my house.
     I could call us a taxi on the telephone
     If I only knew where we are.
     I guess I'm gonna have to drive myself back home
     As soon as I can find the car.
     Tell me how, tell me how, tell me how, tell me how,
     Tell me how much tequila did I drink last night?
 

 
     Hello In There
     by John Prine
 

     We had an apartment in the city
     Me and Loretta liked living there
     And it'd been years since the kids had grown
     A life of their own, left us alone

     John and Linda live in Omaha
     And Joe is somewhere on the road
     And we lost Davy in the Korean War
     And I still don't know what for, don't matter anymore

           You know that old trees just grow stronger
           And old rivers get wilder every day
           Old people just get lonesome
           Waiting for someone to say "Hello in there, Hello."

     Me and Loretta, we don't talk much more
     She sits and stares through the back door screen
     And all the news just repeats itself
     Like some forgotten dream that weÕve both seen

     Some day I'll go and call up Rudy
     We worked together at the factory
     But what'll I say when he asks, "What's new?"
     "Nothin'. What's with you?"  Nothin' much to do.

           You know that old trees just grow stronger
           And old rivers get wilder every day
           Old people just get lonesome
           Waiting for someone to say "Hello in there, Hello."

     So if you're walkin' down the street some day
     And spot some hollow, ancient eyes
     Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
     As if you didn't care, say "Hello in there, Hello."